Heartfelt Tears and Moving On
[Actually submit to Y!Gallery on Jan. 22]
Life has gotten hard--very hard.
One of my closest friends, Raven, was diagnosed with Leukemia...
...and has 6 months left to live. Last night her wrists were bleeding and she was on the brink of death from suicide...but I managed to convince her life was worth it, even if just a bit longer. I'm just praying that the doctors are wrong and that she'll live longer.
And my closest friend, the near love of my life, Kristina...is ignoring me. Paying no mind to me. Won't answer my phone calls, won't return my messages. Won't talk to me online. Nothing.
I moved to New York recently with my family. The two of us never actually dated. To get things out of the way, I'm bisexual. Done. So is she and we're in love. At least, we were... Neither wanted to do a long distance relationship, so we agreed to see other people, and if we found someone we were happier with, then that was okay. Either way, we still had each other and still had friendship.
But I found out that at my birthday party one of my bicurious friends (who has been obsessed with me for quite some time now) asked her out. According to her, Kristina said yes but then about 15 minutes later they decided to break it off because Kristina had me and she had Ian. According to Kristina, she said no and that she'd never date Teresa.
And so Teresa and I ended up getting into an enormous fight since on New Years, Teresa had been all over me. As in, trying to make out with me, kissing me all over.
I told her to leave me alone for a few days. Next day calls me. Day after that IMs me. Clearly I flip out at her, and she gets mad at me. So we break off the friendship for a bit.
Still no contact with Kristina. None at all since around Winter break.
I amend bonds with Teresa.
And now we're here, one of the moments where I need Kristina with me the most, yet she's gone. Not supporting me, not there at all. Even as a friend.
I don't know why she won't speak to me. I think it may concern the Teresa ordeal...but I think she's hiding something from me.
So there's been a lot of tears and heart break recently. I can't even sleep properly. Honestly, my roleplay's with Kristina was my fuel for everyday and what allowed me to sleep at night--so that I had something to think about at night to lull me to sleep. Now I just lie in bed until I pass out in exhaustion.
See? Exams start tomorrow. It's 12:03 AM. I'm still awake and not tired at all.
I'm just...ugh. Mentally confused. I've been having trouble writing and getting school work done. For my French class I had to write a little children's book. Due tomorrow/today. Not even close to finishing it. Ten sketchbook assignments for art. Haven't even started. Were due Friday.
So yes. Life is throttling me by the throat right now...but I'll get over it, I know. I'm just have some issues. -smiles-
So I just wanted to explain some things. Some things including my lack of work, lack of comments, etc etc. I'm just rather emotionally drained at the moment.
Thank god for 40mg of Prozac. If I hadn't already been taking that, I'd probably be dead right now. :/
Love you all, and thanks for all of your support. ^^ I know I'm not your favorite person on here or anything...but it still means something.
:heart:
~Anna
~Vix
Life has gotten hard--very hard.
One of my closest friends, Raven, was diagnosed with Leukemia...
...and has 6 months left to live. Last night her wrists were bleeding and she was on the brink of death from suicide...but I managed to convince her life was worth it, even if just a bit longer. I'm just praying that the doctors are wrong and that she'll live longer.
And my closest friend, the near love of my life, Kristina...is ignoring me. Paying no mind to me. Won't answer my phone calls, won't return my messages. Won't talk to me online. Nothing.
I moved to New York recently with my family. The two of us never actually dated. To get things out of the way, I'm bisexual. Done. So is she and we're in love. At least, we were... Neither wanted to do a long distance relationship, so we agreed to see other people, and if we found someone we were happier with, then that was okay. Either way, we still had each other and still had friendship.
But I found out that at my birthday party one of my bicurious friends (who has been obsessed with me for quite some time now) asked her out. According to her, Kristina said yes but then about 15 minutes later they decided to break it off because Kristina had me and she had Ian. According to Kristina, she said no and that she'd never date Teresa.
And so Teresa and I ended up getting into an enormous fight since on New Years, Teresa had been all over me. As in, trying to make out with me, kissing me all over.
I told her to leave me alone for a few days. Next day calls me. Day after that IMs me. Clearly I flip out at her, and she gets mad at me. So we break off the friendship for a bit.
Still no contact with Kristina. None at all since around Winter break.
I amend bonds with Teresa.
And now we're here, one of the moments where I need Kristina with me the most, yet she's gone. Not supporting me, not there at all. Even as a friend.
I don't know why she won't speak to me. I think it may concern the Teresa ordeal...but I think she's hiding something from me.
So there's been a lot of tears and heart break recently. I can't even sleep properly. Honestly, my roleplay's with Kristina was my fuel for everyday and what allowed me to sleep at night--so that I had something to think about at night to lull me to sleep. Now I just lie in bed until I pass out in exhaustion.
See? Exams start tomorrow. It's 12:03 AM. I'm still awake and not tired at all.
I'm just...ugh. Mentally confused. I've been having trouble writing and getting school work done. For my French class I had to write a little children's book. Due tomorrow/today. Not even close to finishing it. Ten sketchbook assignments for art. Haven't even started. Were due Friday.
So yes. Life is throttling me by the throat right now...but I'll get over it, I know. I'm just have some issues. -smiles-
So I just wanted to explain some things. Some things including my lack of work, lack of comments, etc etc. I'm just rather emotionally drained at the moment.
Thank god for 40mg of Prozac. If I hadn't already been taking that, I'd probably be dead right now. :/
Love you all, and thanks for all of your support. ^^ I know I'm not your favorite person on here or anything...but it still means something.
:heart:
~Anna
~Vix