(no subject)
When The World Falls Down
So it looks like I've lost a friend and lost a love. Lost a lot, actually. Raven has Leukemia with 62% chances of surviving and can't undergo chemo.
Teresa hates me, Kristina hasn't spoken to me, so now there's a void. Things are awkward and weird. I've never lost a friend in my life, and now that she went and stabbed me in the back and blamed me for it, I don't really know how to react. Because I want to be friends. But I need space that I'm not being given and am locked in intense amounts of stress. It'll be a miracle if I don't stab myself like I contemplated last night. Not enough to kill, no, just a little. Just to see how it feels. -sigh-
I made myself cry last night. I was putting a Sephiroth x Cloud scenario through my head with my RP with Kristina...and I just broke down sobbing when I began speaking it. I didn't try to make it sound like my situation, but I did. And my heart just cracked.
So I'm leaving for a while. I've messed things up with a lot of people--Teresa particularly. And I'm sorry. I love her a lot, she's a really good friend. I just can't take this anymore...nothing. None of it. I'll post one last thing before I leave...
Maybe a few more.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for life, for love, for caring, and friendship.
Besides...your world will go on turning...without me here...right...?
Yeah. All of yours will. Nothing will change and things will all be alright.
Things'll be better. I don't know when I'll return. I don't know. I'll probably only be active on one website.
Farewell...and just remember, whatever happens.
I deserve what I get...and it's better off this way.
So it looks like I've lost a friend and lost a love. Lost a lot, actually. Raven has Leukemia with 62% chances of surviving and can't undergo chemo.
Teresa hates me, Kristina hasn't spoken to me, so now there's a void. Things are awkward and weird. I've never lost a friend in my life, and now that she went and stabbed me in the back and blamed me for it, I don't really know how to react. Because I want to be friends. But I need space that I'm not being given and am locked in intense amounts of stress. It'll be a miracle if I don't stab myself like I contemplated last night. Not enough to kill, no, just a little. Just to see how it feels. -sigh-
I made myself cry last night. I was putting a Sephiroth x Cloud scenario through my head with my RP with Kristina...and I just broke down sobbing when I began speaking it. I didn't try to make it sound like my situation, but I did. And my heart just cracked.
So I'm leaving for a while. I've messed things up with a lot of people--Teresa particularly. And I'm sorry. I love her a lot, she's a really good friend. I just can't take this anymore...nothing. None of it. I'll post one last thing before I leave...
Maybe a few more.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for life, for love, for caring, and friendship.
Besides...your world will go on turning...without me here...right...?
Yeah. All of yours will. Nothing will change and things will all be alright.
Things'll be better. I don't know when I'll return. I don't know. I'll probably only be active on one website.
Farewell...and just remember, whatever happens.
I deserve what I get...and it's better off this way.