Meep
Well, I feel great.
Life is still scary and uncertain, but life is always that way. What's more important is my ability to deal with it, which is much improved by being on a path I want to be on rather than one I feel forced into.
Feeling forced into anything makes me reject it. Rejecting my whole life for so long wasn't possible, however rejecting almost every individual aspect was. So I did. I didn't see my friends, didn't do things I enjoyed, both clung desperately to Greg while being short and distant at the same time. I've only been gone from crappy job 8 days and I'm slowly coming into myself, and able to plan, which is so important. Especially when juggling bills and a new professional wardrobe has become a necessity rather than a daydream about what it's like to be a real grown up. It's pretty awesome, though. Still.
Trying not to panic about measly final paycheque from crappy employers. They promised they'd call to confirm how much I was getting paid, they didn't do that. Asked a former co-worker to check on that for me, and manager said she'd lost the numbers I wrote down. TREMENDOUS. Choosing to ignore it rather than let my blood boil. Trying to feel good. Good good good.
Things are looking up for for Greg too. He has a paid project this summer which may well turn into a permanent job as the company are expanding in the region. This is a good thing. He'll also have a PhD, which makes him qualified for all kiiiiinds of sheeit. Good times.
Running is hard, but I plan to keep doing it. Haven't weighed myself for the last few days as my boobs are really tender. This tends to mean hormonal bloating, and weighing THAT can only result in madness. And a skewed graph. It's also meant no measuring. Cause, swelling.
They just brought back Vanilla Coke, you see, so I have to do something. Also working out every day, and doing double if I miss a day for some reason. Weight loss will be slow, but I intend to kick its ass. Depression and helplessness got to me. Time to get them back!
Also, I'm in love with Laci Green. For reals.
Life is still scary and uncertain, but life is always that way. What's more important is my ability to deal with it, which is much improved by being on a path I want to be on rather than one I feel forced into.
Feeling forced into anything makes me reject it. Rejecting my whole life for so long wasn't possible, however rejecting almost every individual aspect was. So I did. I didn't see my friends, didn't do things I enjoyed, both clung desperately to Greg while being short and distant at the same time. I've only been gone from crappy job 8 days and I'm slowly coming into myself, and able to plan, which is so important. Especially when juggling bills and a new professional wardrobe has become a necessity rather than a daydream about what it's like to be a real grown up. It's pretty awesome, though. Still.
Trying not to panic about measly final paycheque from crappy employers. They promised they'd call to confirm how much I was getting paid, they didn't do that. Asked a former co-worker to check on that for me, and manager said she'd lost the numbers I wrote down. TREMENDOUS. Choosing to ignore it rather than let my blood boil. Trying to feel good. Good good good.
Things are looking up for for Greg too. He has a paid project this summer which may well turn into a permanent job as the company are expanding in the region. This is a good thing. He'll also have a PhD, which makes him qualified for all kiiiiinds of sheeit. Good times.
Running is hard, but I plan to keep doing it. Haven't weighed myself for the last few days as my boobs are really tender. This tends to mean hormonal bloating, and weighing THAT can only result in madness. And a skewed graph. It's also meant no measuring. Cause, swelling.
They just brought back Vanilla Coke, you see, so I have to do something. Also working out every day, and doing double if I miss a day for some reason. Weight loss will be slow, but I intend to kick its ass. Depression and helplessness got to me. Time to get them back!
Also, I'm in love with Laci Green. For reals.