Recipe for Grief & Sadness Coping
1 pair sweatpants, worn in and slightly dirty
1 sweatshirt
1-2 boxes of tissues
Makeup remover
1 cell phone
2-5 good friends
As many close relatives as possible
Hair tie
2 funny movies (Bill Murray brand highly recommended)
1 bottle vodka or brandy
Teabags
1 Journal
1 pen
1 fleece blanket
Furry friend, if available (not to be confused with relatives that may be overly hairy); live preferred, inanimate acceptable
Answer cell phone with bad news; set aside. Grab tissues. Change into sweatpants and sweatshirt. Rinse face of makeup, if applicable. Pull hair back into "I don't give a shit" ponytail.
Call at least two friends, cry into phone. Repeat with several relatives. Promise to call back when you can actually be comprehended. Set aside cell phone. (Note: Cell Phone may be necessary to call out of work if weekday.)
Make tea. Add vodka or brandy (optional at this stage.)
Grab cup of tea. Proceed to couch. Instruct furry friend to accompany you on couch (even if typical rules do not allow such accompaniment).
Begin movie. Understand that tears of sadness may flow through even the funniest parts. Wipe snot and tears as needed.
Write in journal with pen.
Repeat cell phone steps. Invite friends and relatives over. Leave the house if necessary, but do not deviate too far from sweatpants outfit. Simmer in comfortable outfit as long as possible.
Vodka or brandy no longer optional.
Repeat entire process as necessary, or until "I don't give a shit" hair becomes "I am a source of the world's oil" hair. Then shower, and repeat processes as necessary.
Eventually, time on couch and with tissues may be reduced. Time with friends and family should not be reduced. Optional: Purchase flowers for self and insert jokes when necessary and [somewhat] appropriate.
Outcome: Newfound strength and love of self, loved ones, tissues with aloe, and sweatpants.
1 sweatshirt
1-2 boxes of tissues
Makeup remover
1 cell phone
2-5 good friends
As many close relatives as possible
Hair tie
2 funny movies (Bill Murray brand highly recommended)
1 bottle vodka or brandy
Teabags
1 Journal
1 pen
1 fleece blanket
Furry friend, if available (not to be confused with relatives that may be overly hairy); live preferred, inanimate acceptable
Answer cell phone with bad news; set aside. Grab tissues. Change into sweatpants and sweatshirt. Rinse face of makeup, if applicable. Pull hair back into "I don't give a shit" ponytail.
Call at least two friends, cry into phone. Repeat with several relatives. Promise to call back when you can actually be comprehended. Set aside cell phone. (Note: Cell Phone may be necessary to call out of work if weekday.)
Make tea. Add vodka or brandy (optional at this stage.)
Grab cup of tea. Proceed to couch. Instruct furry friend to accompany you on couch (even if typical rules do not allow such accompaniment).
Begin movie. Understand that tears of sadness may flow through even the funniest parts. Wipe snot and tears as needed.
Write in journal with pen.
Repeat cell phone steps. Invite friends and relatives over. Leave the house if necessary, but do not deviate too far from sweatpants outfit. Simmer in comfortable outfit as long as possible.
Vodka or brandy no longer optional.
Repeat entire process as necessary, or until "I don't give a shit" hair becomes "I am a source of the world's oil" hair. Then shower, and repeat processes as necessary.
Eventually, time on couch and with tissues may be reduced. Time with friends and family should not be reduced. Optional: Purchase flowers for self and insert jokes when necessary and [somewhat] appropriate.
Outcome: Newfound strength and love of self, loved ones, tissues with aloe, and sweatpants.