Big Life Questions
My employer hosts a series of questions during the semesters to get college students thinking (I guess; sidenote: weird that people pay tuition to think). The series is called "Ask Big Questions"; and the questions are usually along the lines of:
Where is home?
For what are you thankful?
Who is a friend?
You know, pretty open-ended questions.
Anyways, this series, and the posters I see every day for it, has catalyzed me to ask my own series of big questions. To no one in particular, but to everyone, and to myself, and to science (I'm sure there are actual answers to some of these), and to whoever decided we should eat asparagus.
Angie's Big Questions
Why do commercials always seem to come on at the same time on all the important channels (Bravo, Discovery, Animal Planet, TLC, Comedy Central, and VH1) when I'm trying to watch different shows?
Why do I keep trying to get through to morning show contests when my current success ratio is about 267:1? (and I lost the contest anyways)
Why does the holiday season seem to begin earlier and earlier every year?
Why is cheese so AWESOME?
Who decided that middle-aged white men who speak English would RUN shit?
Whatever bra I buy, why is it never comfortable?
What about asparagus makes my pee smell?
How, when walking across grass patches sometimes 2 acres big, do I manage to step in the one turd not picked up?
On that note--why is the word "turd" so fun to say?
Who decided to pour milk on cereal? and...Were they smoking pot?
What is it about my hair that makes it knot within minutes of brushing it thoroughly?
Who told a white person to lock his hair for the first time?
Why are most dogs cuter than most people?
Who is that hot mess of a girl I see in the mirror at the Tavern or Looney's about 1:40 AM some weekends? Wait, I think I have the answer to...umm, yea....moving on... (and if this was a 'why' question, 'vodka tonic' would be the answer)
Who was the first celebrity gossip maven?
Who DOESN'T sing and dance in the car when she's by herself?
Why have leggings made a comeback?
Why does snow make people happy, but rain not so much? They're basically the same thing....
Why do cars have four wheels and not three?
Why do banks charge you when you overdraft? (ain't it obvious you got no money?)
What are they thinking by adding so many varieties to the original awesomeness of Cheez-Its? (And are "Better Cheddars" just really bootleg versions of Cheez-its?)
Why do most people claim to hate social networking sites and then we see them post 14 status updates (note: I include myself. I just don't know the answer, hence it being a BIG question.)?
Why are chicks so much more mature than guys? (I'm talking in general about 5-10 years of difference. Seriously.) Related: WHEN are men okay to marry?
Why do we always look at drivers of other cars around us, even if we're not planning to merge, etc?
What is it about (1)Angelo's pizza; (2)McDonald's cheeseburgers; and (3)Sprite that make them cure hangovers?
Why do some countries not allow you to flush toilet paper down their toilets, even if you've just dropped the biggest, most indestructible turd (AWESOME word) and it was able to flush (okay, so maybe you had to break it in half)?
Is there anyone who doesn't think kittens are cute?
Okay, that's my list, I think. Feel free to add on or take a stab at any of them. I think there's a drinking game waiting between the lines of this blog entry....
Where is home?
For what are you thankful?
Who is a friend?
You know, pretty open-ended questions.
Anyways, this series, and the posters I see every day for it, has catalyzed me to ask my own series of big questions. To no one in particular, but to everyone, and to myself, and to science (I'm sure there are actual answers to some of these), and to whoever decided we should eat asparagus.
Angie's Big Questions
Why do commercials always seem to come on at the same time on all the important channels (Bravo, Discovery, Animal Planet, TLC, Comedy Central, and VH1) when I'm trying to watch different shows?
Why do I keep trying to get through to morning show contests when my current success ratio is about 267:1? (and I lost the contest anyways)
Why does the holiday season seem to begin earlier and earlier every year?
Why is cheese so AWESOME?
Who decided that middle-aged white men who speak English would RUN shit?
Whatever bra I buy, why is it never comfortable?
What about asparagus makes my pee smell?
How, when walking across grass patches sometimes 2 acres big, do I manage to step in the one turd not picked up?
On that note--why is the word "turd" so fun to say?
Who decided to pour milk on cereal? and...Were they smoking pot?
What is it about my hair that makes it knot within minutes of brushing it thoroughly?
Who told a white person to lock his hair for the first time?
Why are most dogs cuter than most people?
Who is that hot mess of a girl I see in the mirror at the Tavern or Looney's about 1:40 AM some weekends? Wait, I think I have the answer to...umm, yea....moving on... (and if this was a 'why' question, 'vodka tonic' would be the answer)
Who was the first celebrity gossip maven?
Who DOESN'T sing and dance in the car when she's by herself?
Why have leggings made a comeback?
Why does snow make people happy, but rain not so much? They're basically the same thing....
Why do cars have four wheels and not three?
Why do banks charge you when you overdraft? (ain't it obvious you got no money?)
What are they thinking by adding so many varieties to the original awesomeness of Cheez-Its? (And are "Better Cheddars" just really bootleg versions of Cheez-its?)
Why do most people claim to hate social networking sites and then we see them post 14 status updates (note: I include myself. I just don't know the answer, hence it being a BIG question.)?
Why are chicks so much more mature than guys? (I'm talking in general about 5-10 years of difference. Seriously.) Related: WHEN are men okay to marry?
Why do we always look at drivers of other cars around us, even if we're not planning to merge, etc?
What is it about (1)Angelo's pizza; (2)McDonald's cheeseburgers; and (3)Sprite that make them cure hangovers?
Why do some countries not allow you to flush toilet paper down their toilets, even if you've just dropped the biggest, most indestructible turd (AWESOME word) and it was able to flush (okay, so maybe you had to break it in half)?
Is there anyone who doesn't think kittens are cute?
Okay, that's my list, I think. Feel free to add on or take a stab at any of them. I think there's a drinking game waiting between the lines of this blog entry....