Go fuck a duck April 1st
Today is the furthest away from April 1st (2012) I can possibly be without a time machine. I am three hundred and sixty-four blissful days away from having to even consider this date again and thank whatever merry god/idol/embodiment is listening.
Yesterday could not have been any more emotionally draining -without having someone die or get seriously sick or suffer some other awful fate- and I don't think I could be left feeling like a bigger idiot. I actually hate April Fool's Day now with a burning passion that consumes me. The boyfriend decided to forward me an email from his work that said that basically the company had been mergered with a larger corporation and that they were all going to have to move to London or Reading. Now considering I had just started to get my life back into some semblance of order this was a bit of a shocker.
To cut an incredibly long story short - blah blah blah - I didn't respond to his email because I couldn't bring myself to say congrats because I was freaking out over the thought that we were going to have to spend another year living apart etc etc. I go to work feeling like shit, get home and have an emotional breakdown involving hysterical sobbing and general anger at life etc.
Turns out it was an April Fool's joke.
[deep breath]
Apparently the boyfriend didn't know until 6pm, I was at work 5-9, he didn't think to message me as I'd never messaged him so he assumed that I'd never read the email. Only reason I found out before today (April 2nd) was after I tweeted and he tried calling me. Words cannot describe how relieved/angry/frustrated/drained/hurt/confused/joyful/etc I am right now.
It’s not like I blame him completely for it, sure he was an idiot for not telling me sooner but I know Matt didn’t do it out of spite and he wasn’t trying to be a ass but my sanity is literally being tethered to me by a very fine thread and just about anything could break it now. I’m all cried out, there are physically no tears left to cry and getting angry isn’t going to make me feel any better, that said I’m giving due warning to the world that if anyone fucks with me today I will kick their scrawny ass from here to freaking Timbuktu.
I think the biggest thing for me is knowing that it’s not a problem now, I don’t have to deal with this shit but at the same time, everything that I had organised and planned in my head is still laying scattered across the floor of my mind. I have no energy to try and pick up the pieces and put them back in their original place.
So this is why April 1st can go fuck a duck.
btw - these gifs are not mine. I merely borrowed them on a long term basis.