(no subject)
I don't really have anything to say, but I feel like I should write in this thing more often just to talk about my day or what not.
I saw Adam for the first time sense January ah few days ago. Tramatic. His wife is pregnant again. He owns ah mercedes .... ah nice one.He looks good, and he has money saved and seems to be doing good ... while i sat there and he saw me at my worst, i felt pathetic and embarassed. He doesn't deserve nice things, he doesn't deserve to be okay. He's done so many wrong things ... he's treated so many people badly, i don't understand the way that God works sometimes. But he still claims that he's stuck and how he's not happy ... but that way is the "easier" way. I think he just talks out of his ass anyways so whatever. Not my problem anymore. Thank God. Its just so strange seeing him and us not being together. He got a tattoo over my name on his chest that same day too ... weird. But he's going to keep the one on his arm of my nickname. Its so effin crazy how life changes and you'd never see it coming.
In other news ... me and that amazinggg woman I was talking about, well we're offically a couple. Like I said before, I don't have the words to describe the way she makes me feel. I guess like the goddess that I've always imagined. She cares about my feelings, she listens and does everything she can for me and my well being. She loves me ... genuwinly. Shes not a fake and shes so true. So basically everything is perfect. I'm really excited about our future. I hope we make it because I can see what happiness is really like and I don't think I would want to expierence anything in life without her. I know its really soon to be talking about all this, but its comfortable with her, not a co-dependency comfortable, its different. I'm not really good w. words so I can't really explain. I wish I was ... I really do. I would tell her the way she makes me feel, she deserves good things. I guess we both do, and we found eachother.
Nikki ...
I Really Do Love You ... Don't Ever Fucking Question That