Kinda Lookin Up
"Date" Went Well. Was It A Date? I Think So? I Got A Dozen Roses And My Door Opened For Me And Everything Paid For ... And A Goodnight Kiss. I'm Gonna Guess It Was A Date...Sure Sounds Like One Too HuH? Well It Went Good. I Coulda Went Down To Lowell To See Him Tonight But I Guess I Was Kinda Scared And A Little Lazy About It. Lowell Is A Haul And Then To Do What? Watch T.V. And Make Out? I Dunno, I Wish He Lived Closer Cuz That Would Be Way Easier...And ALL The Kid Does Is Work. He Makes Mad $$$ But It Sucks That He Works All The Time. But Friday I Believe The Plan Is To Go Down There...So We'll See. He's Totally Not My "Typical" Type But Maybe Thats What I Need. All I Know Is That We're Gonna Have Blondes As Kids!! Hahaha He's My Warrior!!! Hahah Oh Man I'm Just Cracking Myself Up Here. And He Has The Cutest Mass Accent, I Fuckin Love It!!! Soo Yeah Monday I Went And Got An STD Test, Like Everything Basically And I'm CLEAN....HIV FREE!! YaY!! Hahaha! I Just Hate The Fuckin HIV Test Cuz The Shit Is So Fuckin Scary! But The Results Came Back Mad Quick Cuz I Got Them Today (Well Thursday) And Thats Only 4 Days. So Yeah I Told That Lady That Delivered The Good News That I Loved Her. Haha She Prolly That I Was Ah Fuckin Spaz, But I Don't Even Care, I'm CLEANN!! Goood News! Well, Imma Say It Cuz Its On My Mind, Even Tho I Don't Wanna But I Am. I Miss Adam ... Alot ... But Fuck Him. I'm Honestly Having Mad Fun Now That I'm Single And Shit. I Do Whatever I Please. The Shit Is Nice. I Chill With Whoever I Want To And Do Whatever I Want To. I Can Buy All The Cigarettes And Drinks That I Want Without Someone Bitching At Me For Getting Thursty. Its Quite Nice. Everyday It gets Easier...But Then Somedays... Man It STILL Sucks ... But Way Easier.. So Thats Good News. All I Know Is That I'll Kill Ah Bitch. I Really Really Hope That I Don't See Them Together. I Probably Won't Do Anything, But Who Knows, I Might Grab The Bitch By Her Hair And Drag Her Under My Fuckin Tire And Smash Her Cocksucker Under My Car. I HONESTLY Don't Know What I'd Do. Ugh I Guess I Should Do The Whole "Responsible" Thing And Just Look Away Or Just Smile. Hopefully I'm With A Guy So I Can Grab Onto His Arm So It Looks Like I'm Doing Fine. All I Know Is That My Stomach Would SINK. I Just THINK About Seeing Him And My Stomach Drops, Its Weird. I'd Probably Break Down Crying. I Know For A Fact I Wouldn't Be Able To Look Him In The Eyes .. Thats A For Sure Cry Fest Right There. But Who Knows, Maybe I'm Stronger Then I Think. Hopefully By The Time I See Him Next It Won't Phase Me. Well, It'll Obviously Phase Me But Not To The Extent That It Would Now. I Know I Wouldn't Be Begging For Him Back Though If I Did See Him. I'd Probably Just Cry ... I Dunno Why. Cuz It's Gone, It Ended So Badly Maybe? I Don't Even Know. But Off That Topic ... Umm Yeah GOOD TIMES Ahead!! Can't Wait For Half The Shit Thats Coming Up. I Hope Everything Works Out. HOPEFULLY The Trip To New York City On New Years Eve Falls Through, That Would Be Sickkk. And Mad Fun. Next Weekend Is Gonna Be Fun Too! Hopefully I Get That Saturday Off. Fuckin Fun Times. Theres So Many Plans ... I Love It!! I've Been Getting Hit On Left And Right Too, Its Intense. I Feel Like I've Been In The Dark For Years Now. But I'm Not Gonna Say I Wish It Never Happened Cuz I'm Glad It Happened. No Regrets Right? Right! Well, Its Fuckin 3:20 am And I Need To Get My Ass Some Beauty Rest Cuz U Know I Need the Shit!! Busy Ass Night Tomorrow Night ... Well Technically Tonight. Fun Fun Fun .... Takin Some Sweet Ass Pictures Too!! Well, I'm Outta Here! []Deace Outtt!!!