Difficult...
Alan and I had a long discussion last night and are in the process of deciding whether the relationship has a future. The only certainty that has come out of it, is that it cannot carry on in the manner it is doing at the moment. The constant bickering is making both of us poorly and miserable, and although we may still love each other, we're most definitely in a position of not liking each other very much.
I'm hoping that our problems are caused in the main by my dissatisfaction with other areas of my life like this job and my unsettled 'career' and my lack of ability to confront and vent at the appropriate people causing the problems in these areas. I'm hoping that if i can address how i am dealing with my frustrations, then i will treat Alan differently.
But its not all my fault. Alan need to learn to communicate. He needs to express himself less ambiguously, and tell me how things make him feel and what he wants. Or at the least begin to accept that this is important to me and understand why.
Its not hopeless yet. But its going to be hard.
I'm hoping that our problems are caused in the main by my dissatisfaction with other areas of my life like this job and my unsettled 'career' and my lack of ability to confront and vent at the appropriate people causing the problems in these areas. I'm hoping that if i can address how i am dealing with my frustrations, then i will treat Alan differently.
But its not all my fault. Alan need to learn to communicate. He needs to express himself less ambiguously, and tell me how things make him feel and what he wants. Or at the least begin to accept that this is important to me and understand why.
Its not hopeless yet. But its going to be hard.