Woe!
I’m very down this morning, though really focussing on finding ways to bring myself up instead of wallowing in it.
I have 2 reasons for feeling blue, the first being that I found it really hard to let P get on to his train home yesterday and have been missing him terribly ever since he left. I have been trying to find new ways to cope with being parted from him, but yesterday’s experiment in thinking about it a bit earlier so that I would, in theory, be more used to the idea when it came to his leaving, was a bit of a disaster and resulted in me being sad for most of the day. I’ve never found it so hard to be apart from anyone, and it doesn’t seem to be getting easier with time. Currently I am trying to look forward to Friday and our mini-holiday in Scotland (which is now booked!) as a means of keeping my chin up.
The second reason I am a bit down, is something I meant to write about last week but was prevented from getting around to doing so by one thing and another. I came back from my Christmas/New Year holiday to an internal email announcing that certain newly qualified jobs were going to be recruited for in March this year instead of September. Given I’ve said I’m sad, you’ve probably already guessed that the job I was hoping for was on this list. I can’t qualify by March (haven’t done the non-contentious element of my training) so I’m not able to apply for it, plus I’m in no position to move to London in 6 weeks, so I’m completely ruled out. I spoke to a few people here who advised that I email the person advertising the job, which I did. However, this was nearly 2 weeks ago and I haven’t heard back.
I know that there are other places I can get an NQ job in the area I would like, it’s just this would have been the best route for me to get to London with the least hassle. The prospect of moving house and changing employer all in one go is very daunting and doesn’t quite give me the job security I’d hope for in this situation. I just wish for a reply to my email so that I would have a more definite idea of the situation and can tailor my plans accordingly.
To be honest part of me is cross about this in a little way too. Partly because I requested to do my non-contentious training in the first half of my contract, as I had been aware that this could happen, and partly because I had no idea that the firm recruited in March for NQ’s (as far as I am still aware, this is out of sync with normal procedure). I am wondering if the list was sent around as specific people are already lined up for the positions? It seems to be the case for 2 of the jobs on the list, but I can only see what’s going on in this office, so can’t say whether the same is true of the others.
Other than this, my cold isn’t completely gone yet, the irritating cough is still holding on. General woe today I’m afraid!