AnotherDay...
I believe i am actually getting a little blister on my finger from all the knitting!
[I perhaps should explain that Alan wants a 'Tom Baker's Doctor Who-style stripey' scarf for Christmas, and given that its about 3.5 metres long, i thought i'd get an early start on it].
Its been pretty uneventful today. The hot weather has finally let up for a while and been replaced by drizzly rain. Its still warm but not too warm. Which is a relief really. I popped out in it to the wool shop this morning, and was amazed at how sodden i got just in walking to the car.
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My list of things to do is getting steadily longer, but my level of proditivity has definitely begun to slow. That initial surge of enthusiasm for getting everything done before i start my job has worn off, and now i am letting myself get away with far too much procrastination in the disguise of 'deciding what to do first'.
Things aren't helped by my mind being somewhat occupied with anxiety about the LPC results. They're still over 4 weeks away, but some days, especially towards the evening, i can't help but dwell on my performance in the last set of exams. Even when not specifically concerned with that, i think i'm finding it hard to settle because of my usual need for certainty being riled. Until i know that i have passed or failed, i can't plan properly for anything, or feel like i'm done with the course. LIke i said the other day, i can't even file away certain paperwork and books until i am sure of my position.
I'm terrible at waiting for things at the best of times - but with exam results my impatience is at its worst. I spend a lot of time trying to go through each exam paper in my head, trying to remember and analyse what i wrote for each question (which for the last exams has proven very difficult given that time pressure prevents one's brain from both processing and retaining information at such speed - in the interests of doing my best i focussed on processing at the time, rather than remembering!). Sometimes my thinking has me feeling relatively positive, that my answers weren't too bad, or at least that i've put enough to pass, but then others - well, lets say other times i don't feel so good about everything. Either way i'm still only relatively confident about one. There's only that one that i feel sort of like i did when i came out of the compulsory exams. I feel much less happy with the other three.
I wish i could just put it further out of my mind and not come back to it so often. I dread to think if it carries on like this what state i shall be in once the 4 weeks has expired!
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I wonder if Laura off my LPC course feels any better now? She missed the last page of questions of the CDR paper, as she didn't see them. She was okay about it at first, as it was only 16 marks out of 100, but it got to her after a couple of days, and she called me up feeling very miserable about it. Like i said to her at the time though, as she has divided the given time for the exam up over less questions she's probably made a better job of them than the people who had to do the whole paper in that time. So on average she may lose less marks for the early questions. Like i pointed out to her, i mis-read the first question because i was rushing the whole way though the paper, to the extent i think i'll only get half marks on it max, so theres 5 marks i've lost. Its swings and roundabouts. I think everyone is fully aware that they will have made mistakes at one point or another, its just she knows the proper extent of one of her mistakes, whereas for others you can't tell what your loss is.
I do hope she's feeling a bit better about it all now though. I suppose everyone will have it at the backs of their minds until August though.
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I'm going to have to be more organised tomorrow and not let it pass away with little being achieved! I shall have to be more strict with myself. Now that i have finished reading 'Emma', it should be a little bit easier. I couldn't put that book down towards the end of it.
[I perhaps should explain that Alan wants a 'Tom Baker's Doctor Who-style stripey' scarf for Christmas, and given that its about 3.5 metres long, i thought i'd get an early start on it].
Its been pretty uneventful today. The hot weather has finally let up for a while and been replaced by drizzly rain. Its still warm but not too warm. Which is a relief really. I popped out in it to the wool shop this morning, and was amazed at how sodden i got just in walking to the car.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My list of things to do is getting steadily longer, but my level of proditivity has definitely begun to slow. That initial surge of enthusiasm for getting everything done before i start my job has worn off, and now i am letting myself get away with far too much procrastination in the disguise of 'deciding what to do first'.
Things aren't helped by my mind being somewhat occupied with anxiety about the LPC results. They're still over 4 weeks away, but some days, especially towards the evening, i can't help but dwell on my performance in the last set of exams. Even when not specifically concerned with that, i think i'm finding it hard to settle because of my usual need for certainty being riled. Until i know that i have passed or failed, i can't plan properly for anything, or feel like i'm done with the course. LIke i said the other day, i can't even file away certain paperwork and books until i am sure of my position.
I'm terrible at waiting for things at the best of times - but with exam results my impatience is at its worst. I spend a lot of time trying to go through each exam paper in my head, trying to remember and analyse what i wrote for each question (which for the last exams has proven very difficult given that time pressure prevents one's brain from both processing and retaining information at such speed - in the interests of doing my best i focussed on processing at the time, rather than remembering!). Sometimes my thinking has me feeling relatively positive, that my answers weren't too bad, or at least that i've put enough to pass, but then others - well, lets say other times i don't feel so good about everything. Either way i'm still only relatively confident about one. There's only that one that i feel sort of like i did when i came out of the compulsory exams. I feel much less happy with the other three.
I wish i could just put it further out of my mind and not come back to it so often. I dread to think if it carries on like this what state i shall be in once the 4 weeks has expired!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I wonder if Laura off my LPC course feels any better now? She missed the last page of questions of the CDR paper, as she didn't see them. She was okay about it at first, as it was only 16 marks out of 100, but it got to her after a couple of days, and she called me up feeling very miserable about it. Like i said to her at the time though, as she has divided the given time for the exam up over less questions she's probably made a better job of them than the people who had to do the whole paper in that time. So on average she may lose less marks for the early questions. Like i pointed out to her, i mis-read the first question because i was rushing the whole way though the paper, to the extent i think i'll only get half marks on it max, so theres 5 marks i've lost. Its swings and roundabouts. I think everyone is fully aware that they will have made mistakes at one point or another, its just she knows the proper extent of one of her mistakes, whereas for others you can't tell what your loss is.
I do hope she's feeling a bit better about it all now though. I suppose everyone will have it at the backs of their minds until August though.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I'm going to have to be more organised tomorrow and not let it pass away with little being achieved! I shall have to be more strict with myself. Now that i have finished reading 'Emma', it should be a little bit easier. I couldn't put that book down towards the end of it.