IGiveUp...
I’m feeling quite odd today. On the one hand I’m torn between anger and upset at the latest e-mail from Paul. On the other, I have this weird background feeling of ‘okay-ness’ that just keeps surfacing. I don’t know where that’s coming from!
Given that I have truly begun to cease caring about the Paul situation, I will relay the latest news briefly. The essence of his e-mail was that he had made the ‘agonising’ (taking 3 days) decision that as a result of considering his feelings on the matter, he no longer considers me as a friend. To add insult to injury, he mentioned that the only reason he had realised this, was because of my initial e-mail asking why there had been no communication from him. The he went on to state that he would shoulder ‘his half’ of the blame for this, and I ‘can probably imagine’ how deeply this hurts him too.
Words truly fail me.
However, I am curiously optimistic about the whole thing. For once I am easily realising that I am better off without a ‘friend’ like that. Alan, on the other hand, is pretty much livid at Paul. I think some of his anger is because he thinks I’m more upset than I’m letting on, and he may calm down a little once he knows I’m past caring for most purposes. The only small resentment I am harbouring is that this kind of feels like Paul’s twisted way of punishing me for choosing to go out with Alan instead of him. It proves the theory that Paul only befriends girls in the hope they will eventually become his girlfriend. So far there has been only one exception to this rule, and more than 4 cases that prove it. It doesn’t sound like much, but then, he doesn’t meet many girls.
So in all, that’s a friendship that has kicked the proverbial bucket. In truth, the callous tone of the e-mail will enable me to forget about the whole thing without much regret quite quickly. The only real sticking point is Alan. I don’t want him to feel like he has to choose between me and his own friendship with Paul (which is in just as crappy a state from any perspective). However, I’m not sure how I’d feel if it turns out he would want to stay in touch with someone who is capable of this sort of selfishness. I suppose that hurdle will be crossed when I speak to him later tonight.
Anyhow, that’s enough of that.
We’re definitely hoping the weather stays dry this Saturday, because there are one or two quite good walks in North Wales that I have found in a book. I’ll show them to Alan when he gets here and let him choose. One has an ancient stone circle on its route, that one’s my favourite at the moment. Still have no plans for what we’re going to do if in fact it does rain. Though knowing our usual weekends, we’ll end up in Liverpool, at Cheshire Oaks or in the cinema. None of which are too bad, but I just wanted something different this week. I need to get some fresh air before the 3 weeks of revision and exams gets underway.
Given that I have truly begun to cease caring about the Paul situation, I will relay the latest news briefly. The essence of his e-mail was that he had made the ‘agonising’ (taking 3 days) decision that as a result of considering his feelings on the matter, he no longer considers me as a friend. To add insult to injury, he mentioned that the only reason he had realised this, was because of my initial e-mail asking why there had been no communication from him. The he went on to state that he would shoulder ‘his half’ of the blame for this, and I ‘can probably imagine’ how deeply this hurts him too.
Words truly fail me.
However, I am curiously optimistic about the whole thing. For once I am easily realising that I am better off without a ‘friend’ like that. Alan, on the other hand, is pretty much livid at Paul. I think some of his anger is because he thinks I’m more upset than I’m letting on, and he may calm down a little once he knows I’m past caring for most purposes. The only small resentment I am harbouring is that this kind of feels like Paul’s twisted way of punishing me for choosing to go out with Alan instead of him. It proves the theory that Paul only befriends girls in the hope they will eventually become his girlfriend. So far there has been only one exception to this rule, and more than 4 cases that prove it. It doesn’t sound like much, but then, he doesn’t meet many girls.
So in all, that’s a friendship that has kicked the proverbial bucket. In truth, the callous tone of the e-mail will enable me to forget about the whole thing without much regret quite quickly. The only real sticking point is Alan. I don’t want him to feel like he has to choose between me and his own friendship with Paul (which is in just as crappy a state from any perspective). However, I’m not sure how I’d feel if it turns out he would want to stay in touch with someone who is capable of this sort of selfishness. I suppose that hurdle will be crossed when I speak to him later tonight.
Anyhow, that’s enough of that.
We’re definitely hoping the weather stays dry this Saturday, because there are one or two quite good walks in North Wales that I have found in a book. I’ll show them to Alan when he gets here and let him choose. One has an ancient stone circle on its route, that one’s my favourite at the moment. Still have no plans for what we’re going to do if in fact it does rain. Though knowing our usual weekends, we’ll end up in Liverpool, at Cheshire Oaks or in the cinema. None of which are too bad, but I just wanted something different this week. I need to get some fresh air before the 3 weeks of revision and exams gets underway.