Standing at the front of the church, I was surrounded not only by the kind faces of the congregation in their pews. I was also encircled by my own memories and thoughts. It often strikes me that even the most intense moments of communion leave some private core of a person quite alone. 'Self-conscious' is a term often bandied about. But when are we ( Read more... )

I feel a bit hypocritical marking this loss with any grief, as I am not a Stoic in any real sense. I am extremely emotive, with my joys and sadnesses being both deeply felt and frequently shared. If there is any person who is not contributing to a widespread culture of self containment and reserve, that person would be me. However, I have an ( Read more... )

A semi-constant concern, and an endless source of fodder for workplace discussion, is the question of who ones partner is on any given shift. I have had the position of working at agencies without set shift bids, so it's often possible for me to have a different partner for every day that I work in a month. It's hard for my non-EMS chums to ( Read more... )

A lot of my job is absorbed with trying to adapt to and react to unanticipated outcomes. That's a very important skill for the EMS professional because the human body is an incredibly dynamic creation to nurture and protect. Even presuming that the information a paramedic receives is accurate, it is impossible to consistently and correctly predict ( Read more... )

This is a little difficult to admit in the profession that has made a point of distilling, packaging and marketing hero worship. I am at the right place, wearing the right uniform, and I even know some of the lingo. Can't I be just a bit of a hero? Unfortunately, I'm really not such a badass. Now, I never particularly thought that I was, so this is ( Read more... )

That is the title of a beautiful and disturbing (or beautifully disturbing) song by Antony & The Johnsons. Maybe you can watch its music video and let me know what you think when you hear the song and see the video? And let me know if you know anything more about this song and its content.

I have a higher than average exposure to epileptic people ( Read more... )

I am more weary than I can say of this economic crisis that we hear constantly about. Every time I turn my beloved NPR on in the car on my way to work it seems the majority of the morning report is consumed with the most recent batch of bad news. I'm not insensitive to the misery implied by these dispatches. I know that every new story about the ( Read more... )

The famously dark sense of humor possessed by EMSers is somewhat of a point of professional pride. On this matter, I cannot claim to be an exception. I have often horrified my loved ones by cackling with chums, who also work in the field, about matters that should be ideally treated with great delicacy. I have learned that these conversations cause ( Read more... )

(Come to think of think of it, that might be a good name for a bar.)

I saw the improbable, but deeply moving, sight of a squirrel standing vigil over another fallen squirrel when driving home recently. I didn't know that squirrels could do what I can only describe as mourning. However, I must surely be anthropomorphizing in imagining what the ( Read more... )

I had an odd dream last night. I dreamt that I was responding as a medic to a friend's grandfather who was apneic (not breathing). I was actually pretty excited (professionally) because he was still pulsing, with his only complaint being the lack of respiration. While this situation shows up in skills scenarios (in a didactic setting) quite a bit, ( Read more... )