(no subject)
Like most children of divorce, my parents' split up has offered me unimaginable opportunities: Ohio. Ohio, the Buckeye State; Ohio, home of Xiu Xiu; Ohio...what the fuck. Anyway, I'm going there, AGAIN, on Tuesday. Like most states no one wants to go to, Ohio cannot be reached via nonstop direct flight. I will make a leisurely detour in George Bush Airport- Houston.
The first time I went, on my way out of the Dayton airport terminal, I saw a lot of people who I thought could be my mom. From far away, a 200 pound woman stood waiting in the interminably long hallway that leads to the baggage claim. I thought, why is mom allowed to go past security? They must do things differently here in Ohio. I thought: god I hope this isn't my mom. My heart started to beat faster; did my mom gain 100 pounds in 11 years?? No, it wasn't my mom, just some fatass. Problem solved! My mom had actually lost a bunch of weight--so has my dad. They both look like week-old party balloons, still floating near the ceiling, but deflated and slack, the same shape as before but without any air in them. It looks weird.
Her boyfriend is the exact opposite to my dad. He has a mustache, a beer belly, and a Harley Davidson motorcycle. He has kind of a gay sounding Southern accent; actually, he sounds exactly like Clay Aiken. I think that is just his accent; he's not really gay. Everyone in Ohio has a riding lawnmower. If anyone is mowing a lawn, you can see it, outside, because people are RIDING them. They're lawns aren't that big, but their farms are. There is a farm with zebras on it by my mom's house, it's pretty fucking insane.
I'm pretty sure the midwest is a magical land full of hidden treasures like this.
The first time I went, on my way out of the Dayton airport terminal, I saw a lot of people who I thought could be my mom. From far away, a 200 pound woman stood waiting in the interminably long hallway that leads to the baggage claim. I thought, why is mom allowed to go past security? They must do things differently here in Ohio. I thought: god I hope this isn't my mom. My heart started to beat faster; did my mom gain 100 pounds in 11 years?? No, it wasn't my mom, just some fatass. Problem solved! My mom had actually lost a bunch of weight--so has my dad. They both look like week-old party balloons, still floating near the ceiling, but deflated and slack, the same shape as before but without any air in them. It looks weird.
Her boyfriend is the exact opposite to my dad. He has a mustache, a beer belly, and a Harley Davidson motorcycle. He has kind of a gay sounding Southern accent; actually, he sounds exactly like Clay Aiken. I think that is just his accent; he's not really gay. Everyone in Ohio has a riding lawnmower. If anyone is mowing a lawn, you can see it, outside, because people are RIDING them. They're lawns aren't that big, but their farms are. There is a farm with zebras on it by my mom's house, it's pretty fucking insane.
I'm pretty sure the midwest is a magical land full of hidden treasures like this.