self reflection
How I find myself in the situations that I do?
I don't want to be tied down really and yet I find myself missing being in a relationship. There is this guy at work who is really sweet, to sweet really and he would treat me good but there is nothing there. No chemistry, nothing in common and yet instead of looking for something better or rather closer to what I'm looking for I'm holding on to him. Why am I so afraid to put myself out there? Am I afraid that maybe, just maybe, I'll find what I'm looking for and then I will be tied here when all I really want to do is just move away and start over. New place, new start........new me.
I just can't seem to find the energy that it takes for dating and dealing with people. I'm lonely yet content to be by myself. There have been others that have shown interest yet I hesitate. All I do at this point is work and come home and sleep, wake up and start over again. I'm just existing, not living. I feel nothing. I'm numb inside and really just want to feel something, anything but I don't. I just go through the motions and pretend everything is alright and ignore the screaming in my soul that wants more. But what more is there?
I don't want to be tied down really and yet I find myself missing being in a relationship. There is this guy at work who is really sweet, to sweet really and he would treat me good but there is nothing there. No chemistry, nothing in common and yet instead of looking for something better or rather closer to what I'm looking for I'm holding on to him. Why am I so afraid to put myself out there? Am I afraid that maybe, just maybe, I'll find what I'm looking for and then I will be tied here when all I really want to do is just move away and start over. New place, new start........new me.
I just can't seem to find the energy that it takes for dating and dealing with people. I'm lonely yet content to be by myself. There have been others that have shown interest yet I hesitate. All I do at this point is work and come home and sleep, wake up and start over again. I'm just existing, not living. I feel nothing. I'm numb inside and really just want to feel something, anything but I don't. I just go through the motions and pretend everything is alright and ignore the screaming in my soul that wants more. But what more is there?