(no subject)
It's 8:30 now and I have an 8 page paper due tomorrow at 4 that I haven't started yet. I realized lastnight that I rarely post when anything good has happened in my life and that is unfortunate. It turns out leslie is not a robot, despite my earlier suspicions. She is in fact very sweet and really is invested in what we have. The last few days have been filled with some of the most rigorous and didactic conversations we've had and while none of them have been particularly easy, they've all been very important.
I worry sometimes that I am too affectionate. I tell her too often how lovely she is, etc. I don't know if that's true or not, but I hope that message isn't diluted by the frequency that I tell her these things. I worry about this because she's quite the opposite, but I'm convinced she'll soon figure out how she wants to approach this. Especially after these past few days, I worry that she's the one who feels inadequate in their role. I would guess that maybe my views of what this relationship should change just as much as hers. It's all in the details at this point and I don't have any worry that we'll figure that out. Maybe if she didn't simply make me swoony I would doubt it, but nothing could be truer.
I feel like this wonderful, amazing lovely woman has been seriously hurt too many times to be able to open up again without some incredible coaxing. Maybe I'm wrong. I really hope I am. I just hope that she sees that there is no way I could be convinced to hurt her, or act in bad faith. I hope she sees that even on her bad days, she's the only girl I can see or want to see for that matter, hell especially on those days since, almost to my detriment, I want to help her out of them.
I worry sometimes that I am too affectionate. I tell her too often how lovely she is, etc. I don't know if that's true or not, but I hope that message isn't diluted by the frequency that I tell her these things. I worry about this because she's quite the opposite, but I'm convinced she'll soon figure out how she wants to approach this. Especially after these past few days, I worry that she's the one who feels inadequate in their role. I would guess that maybe my views of what this relationship should change just as much as hers. It's all in the details at this point and I don't have any worry that we'll figure that out. Maybe if she didn't simply make me swoony I would doubt it, but nothing could be truer.
I feel like this wonderful, amazing lovely woman has been seriously hurt too many times to be able to open up again without some incredible coaxing. Maybe I'm wrong. I really hope I am. I just hope that she sees that there is no way I could be convinced to hurt her, or act in bad faith. I hope she sees that even on her bad days, she's the only girl I can see or want to see for that matter, hell especially on those days since, almost to my detriment, I want to help her out of them.