Last night
twas also hilarious, but not as much as that last phone call.
Anna, Brian and I went to see Hellboy. damn good movie, esp if you like comic books. Coulda been more snarky tho, but it was fun. Saw the end of Walking Tall when I got home, and its not as much fun as The Rundown. But I havent been bored enough to see Girl Next Door yet. but of course all the guys came over to watch it and drooled.
So we went to eat after the movie, and this guy at the next table had the shinest head ever. Like I think he used Mop n Glow on it or something, it was wrong. And he had these huge ears that stuck out from his head and yet he still managed to look slightly like a turtle. Brian mentions he looks like Dana Carvey in that scene from Master of Disguise, and I start saying 'turtle turtle' over and over. And neither one of us could stop staring at the guy.
Then somehow we got on the subject of guys being so whipped over their gf's that the girl owns their penis and carries it around in her purse and maybe if he's good, she'll let him look at it and remember what its like to own one.
"But why carry it in the purse? Leave it in various baggies throughout the house for him to find!"
"Or smush it and keep it in a tupperware"
"Yes toss it in the blender and hit 'puree', then freeze it."
"This sounds like a new invention. Now we need a name"
and many many bad names later, Brian thought of the Pecker Pulverizer 3000.
Im working on the patent.
Anna: Im working on an invention for old people. Ya know so they dont have the chew their food, its all smashed for them.
Me: Honey, thats a blender.
A: Damnit. Ok what about one thats handheld and portable and they could just pour the food in and then turn a crank?
Me: Thats a meat grinder.
A: Damn you! Stop telling me things are invented!
Me: Ok, make a lil tray that goes from the grinder directly to their mouths. Or better yet- old people food. Like baby food, we'll just go and buy lots of baby food and replace the labels with pictures of old people.
A: Yes!
Anna, Brian and I went to see Hellboy. damn good movie, esp if you like comic books. Coulda been more snarky tho, but it was fun. Saw the end of Walking Tall when I got home, and its not as much fun as The Rundown. But I havent been bored enough to see Girl Next Door yet. but of course all the guys came over to watch it and drooled.
So we went to eat after the movie, and this guy at the next table had the shinest head ever. Like I think he used Mop n Glow on it or something, it was wrong. And he had these huge ears that stuck out from his head and yet he still managed to look slightly like a turtle. Brian mentions he looks like Dana Carvey in that scene from Master of Disguise, and I start saying 'turtle turtle' over and over. And neither one of us could stop staring at the guy.
Then somehow we got on the subject of guys being so whipped over their gf's that the girl owns their penis and carries it around in her purse and maybe if he's good, she'll let him look at it and remember what its like to own one.
"But why carry it in the purse? Leave it in various baggies throughout the house for him to find!"
"Or smush it and keep it in a tupperware"
"Yes toss it in the blender and hit 'puree', then freeze it."
"This sounds like a new invention. Now we need a name"
and many many bad names later, Brian thought of the Pecker Pulverizer 3000.
Im working on the patent.
Anna: Im working on an invention for old people. Ya know so they dont have the chew their food, its all smashed for them.
Me: Honey, thats a blender.
A: Damnit. Ok what about one thats handheld and portable and they could just pour the food in and then turn a crank?
Me: Thats a meat grinder.
A: Damn you! Stop telling me things are invented!
Me: Ok, make a lil tray that goes from the grinder directly to their mouths. Or better yet- old people food. Like baby food, we'll just go and buy lots of baby food and replace the labels with pictures of old people.
A: Yes!