Oregon Trail, BS Round 1
I'm calling this a BS round because it's not the official Round 3- it's a BS round that I cobbled together for the lulz and originally wasn't going to log, but then I decided to anyway. Durr hurr. It's going to be abbreviated, though- I won't be logging every little thing. Or I might end up logging it all anyway, just in a messier format. Oh well.
Our current roster is: Sweden (Leader), Denmark, Gilbert who is tied down so he can't eat everything not nailed down, Estonia, and Toris.
This log begins after the Kansas river. This is also on the Carpenter difficulty, meaning our funds are VERY diminished and there's a chance that we might not make it if some jackass steals our oxen. We are currently running at a faster than usual pace and eating diminished rations so that they don't deplete as fast Gilbert, be prepared to be our butt monkey, and so we can slow down once the inevitable health problems emerge. We already lost a day to a thunderstorm. We have also determined that our next destination, the Big Blue River, is not in fact blue but PULSES different colors. It also glows in the dark and can be used to fuel WILD RAVE PARTIES.
Okay, now to begin the actual log (areas are where we start from. Bolded dates are when things happened to people- names and events will also be bolded.):
Kansas River:
April 7: WE JUST LEFT, AND THE FIRST THING THAT HAPPENS IS THAT DENMARK BREAKS HIS LEG. SWEEEEEDDEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN Also, a little later, we got this after a "YOU TRIPPED" "YOU TRIPPED ME" argument between Denny and Sweden:
[8:12:51 PM] Toris Lorinaitis: I'm not playing nursemaid
OOOOH, LIET'S GOT SASS. LOVE IT~
Big Blue Technicolor Pulse Rave Party River: April 10
We caulk the wagon and float it. IT TIPS OVER. NICE SWEDING FAIL, SWEDEN. We lose 89 bullets, a wheel, and an axle. WTF, this never happens. @_@ So, right, we (I should probably stop saying "we," since Ludz isn't on this trip, but whatever) drag our soggy asses out of the river and keep moving. Or maybe Sweden and Denmark were fighting again. Geez, can you at least just do that on land? You two are DEFINITELY big enough to cause a boat-wagon to tip over!
April 16: Gilbert breaks his leg.
[8:25:24 PM] Berwald: how did he break his leg? i put him in a cage
HE BROKE IT FOR ATTENTION 'CAUSE WE WEREN'T FEEDING HIM OTLI'msuchahorriblebrother
[8:26:33 PM] Toris Lorinaitis: I'm seriously not fixing him up
I LOVE IT. MORE SASS FOR THE CAMERA, BABY. *SHOT*
(...Poor Eesti, surrounded by all this chaos. At least he has Toris to support him. XP)
Fort Kearney: April 17
Saving our money for when we need it. Nothing bought just yet. We do rest a day though, 'cause it looks like everyone needs it. And I even set the portions to "filling" for that day, so everyone gets a break! Yes, even Gilbert. Although we only went through 15 lbs this time. Something tells me that someone isn't eating. >>;
April 26: Estonia gets typhoid. I KNEW the journey had been too quiet for a stretch... We rest for 3 days (and look, everyone, filling portions! NOM NOM NOM), since typhoid has kind of a track record for killing people in a finger-snap in my games. We also take a day to hunt.
Chimney Rock: May 4
Never anything to see here; moving on.
Fort Laramie: May 8
Everyone's health is kinda going into the crapper, so we rest for 3 days (LOOK MORE FILLING PORTIONS If my mercy ends up biting us in the ass I will TANK something so hard it won't be recognizable for a week). Not buying anything yet- again, trying to save that money for when we're all about to keel over on the 2nd half of the trail.
We're getting our first "inadequate grass" warnings. Ruh-oh.
May 15: Gilbert breaks his arm. WTF are they doing to him in there? Methinks Sweden is being an abusive leader. BAD SWEDEN We also get our first "bad water" warning.
Independence Rock: May 25
Gotta rest; health isn't looking so spiffy. (And WTF, it lagged bringing up the picture... D:) AND WE GET FILLING PORTIONS. NOMNOMNOMetc. (Gilbo's been quiet... he must be happy) Comp narrowly missed blowing up. Whew.
May 30: Wild Fruit! Stylin'.
South Pass: June 4
Blah blah nothing doing blah BUT THERE IS A MORMON HERE
We can head for Fort Bridger or the Green River. For the sake of time, I'm going the Green River route (seriously these playthroughs take, like, 4 hours apiece how were kids supposed to play this back in the day).
Green River Crossing: June 8
LOL, 20.9 FEET DEEP IN THE MIDDLE. NOT FORDING THAT NO SIR. We caulk the wagon and get across with no problems.
June 9: Estonia has exhaustion. I've noticed that Toris and Denmark have been flying under the radar. Hmmmm...
June 11: Wrong trail, lose a day. Wow, Sweden. @_@
June 19: Lose trail and two days. WOW, SWEDEN. -_-;
June 21: JUST AS WE GET ON THE TRAIL, THE WAGON BLOWS UP. I ISHT YOU NOT. THE GRAPHIC MAKES IT LOOK LIKE IT BLEW UP. Anyway, all we lose in the fire is 21 bullets and a wagon axle (note to self: get more bullets at next fort). Now, who was responsible for this? I want to say DAMMIT SWEDEN DENMARK STOP FIGHTING INSIDE THE WAGON, but because neither of them typically cause isht to frigging BLOW UP, I only have one other person to blame, because Toris and Eduard are good boys: GILBEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRTTTTT! Dangit, man, I know you have the munchies, but geezus don't throw a frigging tantrum and BLOW UP THE WAGON THAT CONTAINS YOUR FRIGGING FOOD! Sounds like someone has man-PMS. *KILLED*
Soda Springs: June 22
Ah, Soda Springs. Home of great water. For drinking. And bathing. And LEGSERVICE. ESPECIALLY LEGSERVICE, considering that we have Sweden, Denmark, and Prussia here. Hell, even Toris and Eduard have some legservice going on. Today is a good day for all the ladies at Soda Springs. Right-o, let's keep going.
June 24: One our oxen is injured. Awww, poor baby.
Fort Hall: June 26
I get 200 lbs worth of food. (I was going to buy bullets and wagon parts, but the food bill kinda took a chunk out of my finances and we've got at least 3 stops left to go. 4, actually, I think.) Stop staring longingly at the wagon, Gilbert. We also rest, because people are sick. I've pretty much given everyone filling rations whenever we rest like this, so I guess Gilbie gets his fill after all. Why am I feeding him? HE BLEW UP THE DAMN WAGON. @_@ Aaaaand WTF, we blow through about 40lbs of food in the three days that we rest. Well, okay, it's over three days, but still. Gilberrrrrtttt... *WAGON-TANK'D*
June 29: WE HIT AN IMPASSABLE TRAIL, LOSE 7 DAYS, AND MISS MY BIRTHDAY AND ALFRED'S. Here we go, it's already trying to get me to stop playing...
July 8: Guess what, Denmark? YOU HAVE DYSENTERY. HAR HAR HAR CAN'T FLY UNDER THE RADAR FOREVER CAN YOU although, really, it's Toris who's totally under the radar here.
July 19: Wild fruit! Sweet deal.
Snake River Crossing: July 20
Always, always hire an Indian to help. It's not that it's deep, relatively speaking (6 feet- no fording anyway), but it's LOOOOONG- 1000 feet. Plz help us Mr. Indian kthxbai
July 24: We found an abandoned wagon with 21 bullets, 1 set of clothing, and a wagon axle! Perfect! Just what we needed.
July 27: Another wagon! This one has 2 sets of clothing and 16 bullets. Not bad, but I would have liked another wagon part. But what's with these abandoned wagons so close to each other? It's just like round 1- THE ROAD TO FORT BOISE IS PAVED WITH BLOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
Fort Boise: July 28
Eat some, rest some, consider buying some, end up not buying some.
August 2: After going for nearly the whole journey without incident, Toris has a fever! Hey, Sweden, Swede me a cowbell, why don'tcha? *BOATMURDERED* And speaking of Sweden, we then promptly lose the trail and with it 5 days. GEEZ, SWEDEN, I THINK THIS IS THE THIRD TIME NOW! Wow, man, you have, like, the navigational skills of Austria tripping on a powerful, powerful hallucinogenic. :P Almonds? And did I just turn into Poland for a moment there?
August 8: Wild fruit! Yay.
August 10: Hey, look, it's our old Round 1 gravesite!
"Blue" Mountains: August 16
I'm pretty sure that, if these mountains are in any way related to the Big Blue River, we are currently staring at pulsing technicolor rave party mountains, not blue ones. Candy Mountain? Let's take a few days to chill. Also, I'm pretty sure that everyone looks forward to these landmarks, since everyone gets a three day rest with filling portions. Yes, even Gilbert. And we go through 45 lbs in three days! I mean, again, it's three days, but that's 5lbs more than the last 3-day break went through! Yup, Gilbert's greedy gut is back to its old tricks, someone strap him down before it's too late. *MAULED BY A BAR- er, BEAR* Oh, by the way, I'd like to mention that we've been going at a strenuous pace the whole time. Good work, everyone! XP
We can head to Fort Walla Walla, or The Dalles. For the sake of time, I'm headed for The Dalles.
August 19: Estonia has dysentery! Goodness, why is he getting sick so much? The sheer amount of hell that Sweden and Denmark and Prussia raise must be too much for him, even with Toris around.
August 27: Wagon axle breaks. Sweden uses his magic Sweding powers to fix it, though! YAY!
August 30: You're not gonna believe this... Estonia has a snakebite. DANGIT, EESTI, STOP GETTING HURT AND SICK SO MUCH!
The Dalles: August 31
WE'RE ALMOST THERE! Let's keep going! We can take the Barlow Toll Road or we can float the Columbia River. I'm feeling adventurous, so Columbia River it is!
August 31, 1848: The Williamette Valley, Oregon
WE MADE IT!!!! *cue a metric ton of groundkissing, again* And on Carpenter difficulty, too! WOOHOO!
Point totals:
5 people in fair health: 2000 pts
1 Wagon: 50 pts
8 oxen: 32 pts
7 spare wagon parts: 14 pts
11 sets of clothing: 22 pts
141 bullets: 2 pts (-_-;)
540lbs of food DON'T LOOK AT THE STORAGE LIKE THAT GILBERT: 21 pts (ONLY 21?!)
$150.00 cash: 30 pts
Total: 2171 pts
But guess what? Because we chose Carpenter difficulty, our points are DOUBLED! AWESOME! This gives us 4342 points and puts us in the THIRD spot in the Oregon Top Ten! Stylin'!
...Whew... that was pretty epic. I have NEVER had the wagon blow up before. Seriously. Poor Estonia, though, really... hopefully the real round 3 will go better. D: Comments, questions, feedback? Post away!
By the way, the real round three will have Canada, France, Sealand, Switzerland, and Estonia. Russia and Romano are guaranteed round 4, but that's got some snags in it that I'll need to work out later.
Our current roster is: Sweden (Leader), Denmark, Gilbert who is tied down so he can't eat everything not nailed down, Estonia, and Toris.
This log begins after the Kansas river. This is also on the Carpenter difficulty, meaning our funds are VERY diminished and there's a chance that we might not make it if some jackass steals our oxen. We are currently running at a faster than usual pace and eating diminished rations so that they don't deplete as fast Gilbert, be prepared to be our butt monkey, and so we can slow down once the inevitable health problems emerge. We already lost a day to a thunderstorm. We have also determined that our next destination, the Big Blue River, is not in fact blue but PULSES different colors. It also glows in the dark and can be used to fuel WILD RAVE PARTIES.
Okay, now to begin the actual log (areas are where we start from. Bolded dates are when things happened to people- names and events will also be bolded.):
Kansas River:
April 7: WE JUST LEFT, AND THE FIRST THING THAT HAPPENS IS THAT DENMARK BREAKS HIS LEG. SWEEEEEDDEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN Also, a little later, we got this after a "YOU TRIPPED" "YOU TRIPPED ME" argument between Denny and Sweden:
[8:12:51 PM] Toris Lorinaitis: I'm not playing nursemaid
OOOOH, LIET'S GOT SASS. LOVE IT~
Big Blue Technicolor Pulse Rave Party River: April 10
We caulk the wagon and float it. IT TIPS OVER. NICE SWEDING FAIL, SWEDEN. We lose 89 bullets, a wheel, and an axle. WTF, this never happens. @_@ So, right, we (I should probably stop saying "we," since Ludz isn't on this trip, but whatever) drag our soggy asses out of the river and keep moving. Or maybe Sweden and Denmark were fighting again. Geez, can you at least just do that on land? You two are DEFINITELY big enough to cause a boat-wagon to tip over!
April 16: Gilbert breaks his leg.
[8:25:24 PM] Berwald: how did he break his leg? i put him in a cage
HE BROKE IT FOR ATTENTION 'CAUSE WE WEREN'T FEEDING HIM OTLI'msuchahorriblebrother
[8:26:33 PM] Toris Lorinaitis: I'm seriously not fixing him up
I LOVE IT. MORE SASS FOR THE CAMERA, BABY. *SHOT*
(...Poor Eesti, surrounded by all this chaos. At least he has Toris to support him. XP)
Fort Kearney: April 17
Saving our money for when we need it. Nothing bought just yet. We do rest a day though, 'cause it looks like everyone needs it. And I even set the portions to "filling" for that day, so everyone gets a break! Yes, even Gilbert. Although we only went through 15 lbs this time. Something tells me that someone isn't eating. >>;
April 26: Estonia gets typhoid. I KNEW the journey had been too quiet for a stretch... We rest for 3 days (and look, everyone, filling portions! NOM NOM NOM), since typhoid has kind of a track record for killing people in a finger-snap in my games. We also take a day to hunt.
Chimney Rock: May 4
Never anything to see here; moving on.
Fort Laramie: May 8
Everyone's health is kinda going into the crapper, so we rest for 3 days (LOOK MORE FILLING PORTIONS If my mercy ends up biting us in the ass I will TANK something so hard it won't be recognizable for a week). Not buying anything yet- again, trying to save that money for when we're all about to keel over on the 2nd half of the trail.
We're getting our first "inadequate grass" warnings. Ruh-oh.
May 15: Gilbert breaks his arm. WTF are they doing to him in there? Methinks Sweden is being an abusive leader. BAD SWEDEN We also get our first "bad water" warning.
Independence Rock: May 25
Gotta rest; health isn't looking so spiffy. (And WTF, it lagged bringing up the picture... D:) AND WE GET FILLING PORTIONS. NOMNOMNOMetc. (Gilbo's been quiet... he must be happy) Comp narrowly missed blowing up. Whew.
May 30: Wild Fruit! Stylin'.
South Pass: June 4
Blah blah nothing doing blah BUT THERE IS A MORMON HERE
We can head for Fort Bridger or the Green River. For the sake of time, I'm going the Green River route (seriously these playthroughs take, like, 4 hours apiece how were kids supposed to play this back in the day).
Green River Crossing: June 8
LOL, 20.9 FEET DEEP IN THE MIDDLE. NOT FORDING THAT NO SIR. We caulk the wagon and get across with no problems.
June 9: Estonia has exhaustion. I've noticed that Toris and Denmark have been flying under the radar. Hmmmm...
June 11: Wrong trail, lose a day. Wow, Sweden. @_@
June 19: Lose trail and two days. WOW, SWEDEN. -_-;
June 21: JUST AS WE GET ON THE TRAIL, THE WAGON BLOWS UP. I ISHT YOU NOT. THE GRAPHIC MAKES IT LOOK LIKE IT BLEW UP. Anyway, all we lose in the fire is 21 bullets and a wagon axle (note to self: get more bullets at next fort). Now, who was responsible for this? I want to say DAMMIT SWEDEN DENMARK STOP FIGHTING INSIDE THE WAGON, but because neither of them typically cause isht to frigging BLOW UP, I only have one other person to blame, because Toris and Eduard are good boys: GILBEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRTTTTT! Dangit, man, I know you have the munchies, but geezus don't throw a frigging tantrum and BLOW UP THE WAGON THAT CONTAINS YOUR FRIGGING FOOD! Sounds like someone has man-PMS. *KILLED*
Soda Springs: June 22
Ah, Soda Springs. Home of great water. For drinking. And bathing. And LEGSERVICE. ESPECIALLY LEGSERVICE, considering that we have Sweden, Denmark, and Prussia here. Hell, even Toris and Eduard have some legservice going on. Today is a good day for all the ladies at Soda Springs. Right-o, let's keep going.
June 24: One our oxen is injured. Awww, poor baby.
Fort Hall: June 26
I get 200 lbs worth of food. (I was going to buy bullets and wagon parts, but the food bill kinda took a chunk out of my finances and we've got at least 3 stops left to go. 4, actually, I think.) Stop staring longingly at the wagon, Gilbert. We also rest, because people are sick. I've pretty much given everyone filling rations whenever we rest like this, so I guess Gilbie gets his fill after all. Why am I feeding him? HE BLEW UP THE DAMN WAGON. @_@ Aaaaand WTF, we blow through about 40lbs of food in the three days that we rest. Well, okay, it's over three days, but still. Gilberrrrrtttt... *WAGON-TANK'D*
June 29: WE HIT AN IMPASSABLE TRAIL, LOSE 7 DAYS, AND MISS MY BIRTHDAY AND ALFRED'S. Here we go, it's already trying to get me to stop playing...
July 8: Guess what, Denmark? YOU HAVE DYSENTERY. HAR HAR HAR CAN'T FLY UNDER THE RADAR FOREVER CAN YOU although, really, it's Toris who's totally under the radar here.
July 19: Wild fruit! Sweet deal.
Snake River Crossing: July 20
Always, always hire an Indian to help. It's not that it's deep, relatively speaking (6 feet- no fording anyway), but it's LOOOOONG- 1000 feet. Plz help us Mr. Indian kthxbai
July 24: We found an abandoned wagon with 21 bullets, 1 set of clothing, and a wagon axle! Perfect! Just what we needed.
July 27: Another wagon! This one has 2 sets of clothing and 16 bullets. Not bad, but I would have liked another wagon part. But what's with these abandoned wagons so close to each other? It's just like round 1- THE ROAD TO FORT BOISE IS PAVED WITH BLOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
Fort Boise: July 28
Eat some, rest some, consider buying some, end up not buying some.
August 2: After going for nearly the whole journey without incident, Toris has a fever! Hey, Sweden, Swede me a cowbell, why don'tcha? *BOATMURDERED* And speaking of Sweden, we then promptly lose the trail and with it 5 days. GEEZ, SWEDEN, I THINK THIS IS THE THIRD TIME NOW! Wow, man, you have, like, the navigational skills of Austria tripping on a powerful, powerful hallucinogenic. :P Almonds? And did I just turn into Poland for a moment there?
August 8: Wild fruit! Yay.
August 10: Hey, look, it's our old Round 1 gravesite!
"Blue" Mountains: August 16
I'm pretty sure that, if these mountains are in any way related to the Big Blue River, we are currently staring at pulsing technicolor rave party mountains, not blue ones. Candy Mountain? Let's take a few days to chill. Also, I'm pretty sure that everyone looks forward to these landmarks, since everyone gets a three day rest with filling portions. Yes, even Gilbert. And we go through 45 lbs in three days! I mean, again, it's three days, but that's 5lbs more than the last 3-day break went through! Yup, Gilbert's greedy gut is back to its old tricks, someone strap him down before it's too late. *MAULED BY A BAR- er, BEAR* Oh, by the way, I'd like to mention that we've been going at a strenuous pace the whole time. Good work, everyone! XP
We can head to Fort Walla Walla, or The Dalles. For the sake of time, I'm headed for The Dalles.
August 19: Estonia has dysentery! Goodness, why is he getting sick so much? The sheer amount of hell that Sweden and Denmark and Prussia raise must be too much for him, even with Toris around.
August 27: Wagon axle breaks. Sweden uses his magic Sweding powers to fix it, though! YAY!
August 30: You're not gonna believe this... Estonia has a snakebite. DANGIT, EESTI, STOP GETTING HURT AND SICK SO MUCH!
The Dalles: August 31
WE'RE ALMOST THERE! Let's keep going! We can take the Barlow Toll Road or we can float the Columbia River. I'm feeling adventurous, so Columbia River it is!
August 31, 1848: The Williamette Valley, Oregon
WE MADE IT!!!! *cue a metric ton of groundkissing, again* And on Carpenter difficulty, too! WOOHOO!
Point totals:
5 people in fair health: 2000 pts
1 Wagon: 50 pts
8 oxen: 32 pts
7 spare wagon parts: 14 pts
11 sets of clothing: 22 pts
141 bullets: 2 pts (-_-;)
540lbs of food DON'T LOOK AT THE STORAGE LIKE THAT GILBERT: 21 pts (ONLY 21?!)
$150.00 cash: 30 pts
Total: 2171 pts
But guess what? Because we chose Carpenter difficulty, our points are DOUBLED! AWESOME! This gives us 4342 points and puts us in the THIRD spot in the Oregon Top Ten! Stylin'!
...Whew... that was pretty epic. I have NEVER had the wagon blow up before. Seriously. Poor Estonia, though, really... hopefully the real round 3 will go better. D: Comments, questions, feedback? Post away!
By the way, the real round three will have Canada, France, Sealand, Switzerland, and Estonia. Russia and Romano are guaranteed round 4, but that's got some snags in it that I'll need to work out later.