SCRIPT FOR AUDIO PRODUCTION 1 PROJECT #1
THE MOST BRUTAL CHRISTMAS:
CAST:
MOTHER
SON
DAUGHTER
FATHER
SATAN
STORE ATTENDANT
FATHER TELLING STORY
DAUGHTER LISTENING TO STORY
SCENE ONE:
CHRISTMAS TIME, IN A MALL/DEPARTMENT STORE. CHRISTMAS MUSAK IN BACKGROUND, CROWD NOISES ... ETC. MOTHER PUSHING CART.
STORE ATTENDANT: (IN BACKGROUND)
Ma’am! You can’t bring whiskey in here!
MOTHER:
You know, Christmas is only a few days away, If you don’t have your Christmas list soon santa isn’t going to know what to buy you… I mean get you… I mean BRING you. In his sleigh. Because he is 100% real.
SON & DAUGHTER:
We Already know what we want for Christmas, and we mailed our lists to the north pole ourselves!
MOTHER:
Oh really now, what did you ask for?
DAUGHTER:
I asked for daddy to stop drinking!
MUSAK FADES OUT, BRUTAL DEATH METAL LOW IN BACKGROUND FADES IN
SON:
I asked for my own copy of DANZIG.
MOTHER:
Awh, god-d*mn it you little sh*t, I keep telling you I ain’t gonna buy that devil music.
DAUGHTER:
Santa ... ?
SON:
But I (DRAWN OUT) REALLY want it.
MOTHER:
It don’t matter, there ain’t no way in hell you gettin’ that sh*t for Christmas, now what do you want, legos?
DAUGHTER:
All the ones from the thrift store smell funny…
MOTHER:
Or how about my little pony? You kids like that? Right?
SOUND OF MOTHER KNOCKING ITEMS OFF SHELF
STORE ATTENDANT: (QUIET IN BACKGROUND)
Lady, you gotta pick that up!
SON:
God, you are so lame. All my friends already listen to it!
MOTHER:
Well if you don’t want to give me a real list then I guess santa will just bring you coal this
SNAPS FINGERS.
… what’s it...
SNAPS FINGERS.
Christmas!
FADE OUT
SCENE 2
FADE IN: CHRISTMAS MORNING, SOUND OF UNWRAPPING GIFTS, BELLS, CHRISTMAS MUSIC… etc.
MOTHER:
What did you get in your stocking, mike?
FATHER:
Johnny Walker! My favorite!
MOTHER:
I could afford the fancy kind now that we don’t bother to pay car insurance anymore.
FATHER:
And what did you get, son?
SON: (DEJECTED)
“The Jungle Book” on tape…
FATHER:
What’s the matter you little prick? Ain’t what I bought you good enough for you? Look at all this crap we got you, I had to kick a guy in the chest to find that tape at the salvation army.
MOTHER:
In the chest? Really?
FATHER:
Maybe, I don’t know. I was really drunk. Point is it makes me drive better.
SON:
I just didn’t get my wish for Christmas… AGAIN.
MOTHER:
OH god, if the baby is going to keep whining about how we decided to keep his sister then he can just stay at home while we go get Christmas dinner at the church.
DAUGHTER:
We’re a good god fearing real american family!
FADE OUT
SCENE 3
FADE IN, FAMILY COMING HOME FROM CHURCH ON CHRISTMAS. DOOR OPENING, CLOSING, UN-ZIPPING AND TAKING OFF JACKETS, CHATTER …ETC. CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING
DAUGHTER:
Look! There’s a new box under the Christmas tree! Who’s it for?
(SLIGHT DELAY)
It’s for you!
UNWRAPPING SOUNDS
SON:
Wow, who could’ve left this for me!
OH GLEE! IT’S THE CD I REALLY WANTED!
MOTHER: (ANGRILY, TO FATHER)
Did you buy that for him? Because I swear to god if you did I ain’t gonna let you stick it in the rear no more
FATHER:
Now you know I didn’t buy a danged thing this year.
SON:
AND A GUITAR! WITH A PENTAGRAM ON IT!
DAUGHTER:
It looks like it’s on fire!
SON:
Oh, and the head is a sword, wicked! With a Y!
SOUND OF FIRE IGNITING, MUSIC CUTS OUT, IS REPLACED WITH BRUTAL DEATH METAL MUSIC.
WHOLE FAMILY: SHOCKED GASP
SATAN: (EVIL LAUGH PRECEEDING)
That’s right dear boy, I killed the elves delivering your letter to santa in order to feed their blood to Cerberus, my loyal hound. While using your pitiful childrens letters to fuel the fires of the damned, yours caught my eye. YOU, my favorite son of adam, shall be granted the power to play this guitar in a way so brutal that it will consume the souls of all who hear it, granting you the power to raise an army to slay the righteous and do battle with the son of Yahweh himself! muahahaha! NOW! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! AND TO ALL, NOW BEGINS MY ETERNAL NIGHT!
SCENE 4:
SOUNDS OF ARMIES MARCHING, EXPLOSIONS, WAR, ATROCITIES …ETC. AND BRUTAL DEATH METAL GUITAR.
SATAN:
Yes! Destroy! Kill! Conquer! Drink the blood of your enemies, level their cities, revel in the lamentations of their women, pierce the skulls of their children, vote republican, and destroy, destroy, destroy!
MUSIC AND AUDIO FADES OUT:
SCENE 5: WE HEAR A BOOK CLOSING, A CHILD ROLLING AROUND IN BED.
FATHER TELLING STORY:
And that susie, is the tale of hour our glorious leader came to rule the world in a wave of blood and terror that will be remembered for all times.
DAUGHTER LISTENING TO STORY:
Yay! Thank you daddy, that’s my favorite story!
FATHER TELLING STORY:
I know dear.
KISS ON FOREHEAD
FATHER TELLING STORY:
Good night.
FADE IN BRUTAL DEATH METAL, THEN FADE OUT.
CAST:
MOTHER
SON
DAUGHTER
FATHER
SATAN
STORE ATTENDANT
FATHER TELLING STORY
DAUGHTER LISTENING TO STORY
SCENE ONE:
CHRISTMAS TIME, IN A MALL/DEPARTMENT STORE. CHRISTMAS MUSAK IN BACKGROUND, CROWD NOISES ... ETC. MOTHER PUSHING CART.
STORE ATTENDANT: (IN BACKGROUND)
Ma’am! You can’t bring whiskey in here!
MOTHER:
You know, Christmas is only a few days away, If you don’t have your Christmas list soon santa isn’t going to know what to buy you… I mean get you… I mean BRING you. In his sleigh. Because he is 100% real.
SON & DAUGHTER:
We Already know what we want for Christmas, and we mailed our lists to the north pole ourselves!
MOTHER:
Oh really now, what did you ask for?
DAUGHTER:
I asked for daddy to stop drinking!
MUSAK FADES OUT, BRUTAL DEATH METAL LOW IN BACKGROUND FADES IN
SON:
I asked for my own copy of DANZIG.
MOTHER:
Awh, god-d*mn it you little sh*t, I keep telling you I ain’t gonna buy that devil music.
DAUGHTER:
Santa ... ?
SON:
But I (DRAWN OUT) REALLY want it.
MOTHER:
It don’t matter, there ain’t no way in hell you gettin’ that sh*t for Christmas, now what do you want, legos?
DAUGHTER:
All the ones from the thrift store smell funny…
MOTHER:
Or how about my little pony? You kids like that? Right?
SOUND OF MOTHER KNOCKING ITEMS OFF SHELF
STORE ATTENDANT: (QUIET IN BACKGROUND)
Lady, you gotta pick that up!
SON:
God, you are so lame. All my friends already listen to it!
MOTHER:
Well if you don’t want to give me a real list then I guess santa will just bring you coal this
SNAPS FINGERS.
… what’s it...
SNAPS FINGERS.
Christmas!
FADE OUT
SCENE 2
FADE IN: CHRISTMAS MORNING, SOUND OF UNWRAPPING GIFTS, BELLS, CHRISTMAS MUSIC… etc.
MOTHER:
What did you get in your stocking, mike?
FATHER:
Johnny Walker! My favorite!
MOTHER:
I could afford the fancy kind now that we don’t bother to pay car insurance anymore.
FATHER:
And what did you get, son?
SON: (DEJECTED)
“The Jungle Book” on tape…
FATHER:
What’s the matter you little prick? Ain’t what I bought you good enough for you? Look at all this crap we got you, I had to kick a guy in the chest to find that tape at the salvation army.
MOTHER:
In the chest? Really?
FATHER:
Maybe, I don’t know. I was really drunk. Point is it makes me drive better.
SON:
I just didn’t get my wish for Christmas… AGAIN.
MOTHER:
OH god, if the baby is going to keep whining about how we decided to keep his sister then he can just stay at home while we go get Christmas dinner at the church.
DAUGHTER:
We’re a good god fearing real american family!
FADE OUT
SCENE 3
FADE IN, FAMILY COMING HOME FROM CHURCH ON CHRISTMAS. DOOR OPENING, CLOSING, UN-ZIPPING AND TAKING OFF JACKETS, CHATTER …ETC. CHRISTMAS MUSIC PLAYING
DAUGHTER:
Look! There’s a new box under the Christmas tree! Who’s it for?
(SLIGHT DELAY)
It’s for you!
UNWRAPPING SOUNDS
SON:
Wow, who could’ve left this for me!
OH GLEE! IT’S THE CD I REALLY WANTED!
MOTHER: (ANGRILY, TO FATHER)
Did you buy that for him? Because I swear to god if you did I ain’t gonna let you stick it in the rear no more
FATHER:
Now you know I didn’t buy a danged thing this year.
SON:
AND A GUITAR! WITH A PENTAGRAM ON IT!
DAUGHTER:
It looks like it’s on fire!
SON:
Oh, and the head is a sword, wicked! With a Y!
SOUND OF FIRE IGNITING, MUSIC CUTS OUT, IS REPLACED WITH BRUTAL DEATH METAL MUSIC.
WHOLE FAMILY: SHOCKED GASP
SATAN: (EVIL LAUGH PRECEEDING)
That’s right dear boy, I killed the elves delivering your letter to santa in order to feed their blood to Cerberus, my loyal hound. While using your pitiful childrens letters to fuel the fires of the damned, yours caught my eye. YOU, my favorite son of adam, shall be granted the power to play this guitar in a way so brutal that it will consume the souls of all who hear it, granting you the power to raise an army to slay the righteous and do battle with the son of Yahweh himself! muahahaha! NOW! MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! AND TO ALL, NOW BEGINS MY ETERNAL NIGHT!
SCENE 4:
SOUNDS OF ARMIES MARCHING, EXPLOSIONS, WAR, ATROCITIES …ETC. AND BRUTAL DEATH METAL GUITAR.
SATAN:
Yes! Destroy! Kill! Conquer! Drink the blood of your enemies, level their cities, revel in the lamentations of their women, pierce the skulls of their children, vote republican, and destroy, destroy, destroy!
MUSIC AND AUDIO FADES OUT:
SCENE 5: WE HEAR A BOOK CLOSING, A CHILD ROLLING AROUND IN BED.
FATHER TELLING STORY:
And that susie, is the tale of hour our glorious leader came to rule the world in a wave of blood and terror that will be remembered for all times.
DAUGHTER LISTENING TO STORY:
Yay! Thank you daddy, that’s my favorite story!
FATHER TELLING STORY:
I know dear.
KISS ON FOREHEAD
FATHER TELLING STORY:
Good night.
FADE IN BRUTAL DEATH METAL, THEN FADE OUT.