Post Diploma
Post Diploma
I feel like crying but, I can't and I don't know why
wishing a drunk would kill me fits me just fine
I would never pull the trigger
and my blood will never run thicker
through my veins.
I stay when it rains
and I'm going through the motion
like an ill-conceived notion
that life will be better
when god gets my letter
depression is a muse
just some paper and a pen
before we light the fuse
and it all gets better, when?
this poem describes the thoughts of the confused. when life is it's hardest and there is no set path.
the time in life after highschool when the young fear decisions because anyone is the right one but
it's not that simple. what sort of life are they are living may have nothing to do with the life they will live
and this is good, bad, and everything in between. This is when the person struggles to make enough money to go
to college and goes to college to one day make enough money. this is when they realize that they could stop going
and live modestly but question whether that is good enough. everything is a question with no real answer.
this is when they experience love and logically it is the last thing they should worry about at this time.
this is when they no longer want to kill themselves but wish for a fatal accident.
this is when friends grow closer and friends go away and some are left with lonliness.
i shouldn't have written this tonight, i should be sleeping and getting ready to schedule classes and go to work tomorrow.
unconcerned about what i learn so long as i'm learning i go through these motions. unconcerned about the money i make working i continue to do it, all these things i do because that is what i'm supposed to do. i have a problem with doing too much and not being able to relax. i need to just sit and NOT think. i need to have friends instead of the aquaintences, assosiates, and companions i have when it is convenient for them. Sammi, you are the only one that answers my calls. Mark you call me back when i call you and i'm sure you won't read this because i think you are out of the LJ crowd too but i figured i wouldn't leave you out. even my little brother treats me like a burden. what have i ever done to him to make him feel this resentment.
i probably won't check for comments for a terribly long time so i'll post my email address or you can give me a call after 7:30. blitzen15@hotmail.com
I feel like crying but, I can't and I don't know why
wishing a drunk would kill me fits me just fine
I would never pull the trigger
and my blood will never run thicker
through my veins.
I stay when it rains
and I'm going through the motion
like an ill-conceived notion
that life will be better
when god gets my letter
depression is a muse
just some paper and a pen
before we light the fuse
and it all gets better, when?
this poem describes the thoughts of the confused. when life is it's hardest and there is no set path.
the time in life after highschool when the young fear decisions because anyone is the right one but
it's not that simple. what sort of life are they are living may have nothing to do with the life they will live
and this is good, bad, and everything in between. This is when the person struggles to make enough money to go
to college and goes to college to one day make enough money. this is when they realize that they could stop going
and live modestly but question whether that is good enough. everything is a question with no real answer.
this is when they experience love and logically it is the last thing they should worry about at this time.
this is when they no longer want to kill themselves but wish for a fatal accident.
this is when friends grow closer and friends go away and some are left with lonliness.
i shouldn't have written this tonight, i should be sleeping and getting ready to schedule classes and go to work tomorrow.
unconcerned about what i learn so long as i'm learning i go through these motions. unconcerned about the money i make working i continue to do it, all these things i do because that is what i'm supposed to do. i have a problem with doing too much and not being able to relax. i need to just sit and NOT think. i need to have friends instead of the aquaintences, assosiates, and companions i have when it is convenient for them. Sammi, you are the only one that answers my calls. Mark you call me back when i call you and i'm sure you won't read this because i think you are out of the LJ crowd too but i figured i wouldn't leave you out. even my little brother treats me like a burden. what have i ever done to him to make him feel this resentment.
i probably won't check for comments for a terribly long time so i'll post my email address or you can give me a call after 7:30. blitzen15@hotmail.com