Birthdays. Bah Humbug.
Sometimes I think maybe I just shouldn't be allowed to have a birthday. For some reason this time of year more than any other dredges up insecurities that stretch all the way back to childhood and brings them right back to the forefront of my mind. WTF! I'm too old for angst thank you very much!
I really like birthdays. I like planning them, attending them, buying presents for them, cooking for them, everything about them so long as the birthday in question isn't mine. The mere act of trying to figure out what I want to do to celebrate and planning said event should be fun, not stressful...and yet, here I am. The fact that
mortgaged is willing to do all of this for me - Thank you, Hon!!! - helps a little, but not as much as either of us would like.
I am very much no longer the girl who was told she could invite eight to ten girls over for a slumber party but could only think of two who would be willing to come. And, 11 months out of the year I know this...Oy! I get a little better about the whole thing each year.
mortgaged helps a lot!!! C.o.W. helps a lot! Growing older and gaining additional perspective helps a lot. So does venting on LJ. *takes deep breath* There. I feel a little better already.