at the moment...
first, i swear this journal is for personal use only.
i know that in the past things happened that were terrible. we will learn and have learned supposedly from them and how to deal with them. i don't think its working. will the past haunt us forever? it seems as though it will. i try so hard to be the person that i am and the one you want, it just never seems to go my way. there is always fights, and questions. the fights are about the questions most of the time, and i can't cope with the fact that when there are answers given, they are not accpeted. i then stop to think, why ask a question if you won't belive any possible answer given? is it you want bad news, or you want dishonesty.? i can't make it out and i can only do so much. i try to take my mind off of this and be normal, it just doens't work b/c there is always another day and another fight. what does one do when they live to fight; fight for their opinion, their answers, their honesty, and there love to survive?
i can honestly say that it does bug me that i am in here writing a journal about our fight isolated, b/c you had the audacity to invite someone over to hang out while we were fighting. now im here, your there, no discusssions, no reasoning, and especially no making up. i thought it was an understood thing to talk with someone if they are fighting, not to stop answer the phone and have a friend come over to "Chill" with you.
anyway, im searching for so many things right now. i am trying to keep the one i love loving me, and use m honesty to do it. except that it isn't working. i do't know wat to do. and right now, i can't do anything until the friend leaves.
i know that in the past things happened that were terrible. we will learn and have learned supposedly from them and how to deal with them. i don't think its working. will the past haunt us forever? it seems as though it will. i try so hard to be the person that i am and the one you want, it just never seems to go my way. there is always fights, and questions. the fights are about the questions most of the time, and i can't cope with the fact that when there are answers given, they are not accpeted. i then stop to think, why ask a question if you won't belive any possible answer given? is it you want bad news, or you want dishonesty.? i can't make it out and i can only do so much. i try to take my mind off of this and be normal, it just doens't work b/c there is always another day and another fight. what does one do when they live to fight; fight for their opinion, their answers, their honesty, and there love to survive?
i can honestly say that it does bug me that i am in here writing a journal about our fight isolated, b/c you had the audacity to invite someone over to hang out while we were fighting. now im here, your there, no discusssions, no reasoning, and especially no making up. i thought it was an understood thing to talk with someone if they are fighting, not to stop answer the phone and have a friend come over to "Chill" with you.
anyway, im searching for so many things right now. i am trying to keep the one i love loving me, and use m honesty to do it. except that it isn't working. i do't know wat to do. and right now, i can't do anything until the friend leaves.