somebody help me, just listen...

[blinkgurl1188]

Just when you think you've got it all figured out, that at this moment in time nothing could be better than what it possibly is now, something side-swipes you and catches you completly off guard. You sensed the signs were there, you might have even questioned the path/course, but you tried not to face it head on. You tried to put it off and mold it back together so it could be strong enough to get through the eventual crash when the pieces crumble and it's too late. You thought you could prepare yourself before the crash but there was nothing you could do. It was inevitable. The only question was how and when.. and even that you couldn't control. The pieces weren't in your grasp. You kind of just let it flow, wait for it to sneek up on you. Then - crash! It hits you like a ton of bricks. You were waiting for it but didn't expect it to be so soon. And when it hits you, it hits you hard. It always seems to happen at the completly wrong times. At those moments you envision to be perfect, then they just get spoiled and never really amount to anything.. The whole time you were blinded from love, when the other was reflecting on life and slowly switching gears. You kept reaching for the past, trying to revive it, to somehow ignite it - and you both start to feel it - but you realize it's just a false hope. He really doesn't feel that same way he did anymore. He doesn't know exactly what he wants anymore - just when you thought you both had finally figured it all out.. You're both on a different page, a new chapter in your lives. You know that no matter how hard you try to grasp the pages and reverse time that you don't have the power to do that. No one can. Time passed, the story goes on, people change. No matter how much love you have for that person, it's never going to change how they feel. All's you can do is wait around, see how it goes. See if there's a possibility of putting the pieces together. But meanwhile your heart is tearing apart and you can't bear to be in the middle anymore. You're thinking, "Can we get through this? Could we work this out? Is it possible? Is it really worth it?" Well - of course you want it to work out and have everything be okay, but if you're both not on the same page anymore then what else can really be done? Do you just sit around and see how it goes, sit through the pain - or do you end it now and move on? Cause I'd rather crash and recover than endure this pain for too long. It's at a point where time stands still. It's like you're standing at the edge of that cliff gazing out in the fall sunset and you're overcome with this sudden cool breeze. You just take it all in then shake it off. So am I supposed to hang around, stay in the middle, reflect on it, take it all in, then move on and shake it off.. Everything's just so uncertain and unexpected. I really don't even know what's around the corner anymore. It's an awkward feeling, but I have no one to blame but myself for trying to hold onto something I no longer can. For trying to recreate what we had. It just isn't reality.. It was great while it lasted, but now it is it really over for good? Is it time to move on? Or are we strong enough to make it through this?.. Where do I go from here, cause I really don't know anymore?

By the way, Happy 6 Months, John. =/