Gross gross gross
That is how I feel right now. Also, I am very annoyed with myself. Some background: There is a 60-70 year old man "G" who is a "friend of the house". Basically he's an old hippie who is a really gifted massage therapist. He's also had a lot of head injuries which make him "off"- but in a loving sort of way. He's constantly giving massages to people. He usually waltzes in unannounced when in town. He is also suicidal. A lot of people in the house really love him. The girls get weird vibes and we all agree that while he's done nothing, we would not be comfortable being alone with him. The last several times he's come to visit, I've been more and more uncomfortable, but I couldn't tell you why.
G came by last night during the middle of a birthday party/game night and spent the night. This morning he was giving me a massage at the breakfast table. He was rattling on about a lot of his woo-woo beliefs and gender essentialist female worship when he told me:
A. He found me sexually attractive
B. He thought my breasts were beautiful
C. He liked touching my butt during a massage
D. He had sexual urges and masturbated
E. He would like to have sex with me, but wouldn't because he valued me too much.
Y'all, I did NOT know what to do with this. I should have given him all hell. In the last 3-4 years, giving people hell for saying inappropriate shit has not been a problem for me. Instead, I just sat there and listened, gave a half-laugh, squirmed away, and argued with him about his women-as-goddesses bullshit before I could get away to go take a shower.
I am really, really upset with myself for not calling him out on this, and I'm trying to figure out why I didn't. Was I afraid of being "impolite" to a guest in our house, someone many of my housemates like? Was I afraid of triggering a suicide attempt by shaming him? Am I just good at calling out people for problematic sexist/racist/hetero-normative statements and not sexual-harassment-type statements?
Your input is appreciated.
G came by last night during the middle of a birthday party/game night and spent the night. This morning he was giving me a massage at the breakfast table. He was rattling on about a lot of his woo-woo beliefs and gender essentialist female worship when he told me:
A. He found me sexually attractive
B. He thought my breasts were beautiful
C. He liked touching my butt during a massage
D. He had sexual urges and masturbated
E. He would like to have sex with me, but wouldn't because he valued me too much.
Y'all, I did NOT know what to do with this. I should have given him all hell. In the last 3-4 years, giving people hell for saying inappropriate shit has not been a problem for me. Instead, I just sat there and listened, gave a half-laugh, squirmed away, and argued with him about his women-as-goddesses bullshit before I could get away to go take a shower.
I am really, really upset with myself for not calling him out on this, and I'm trying to figure out why I didn't. Was I afraid of being "impolite" to a guest in our house, someone many of my housemates like? Was I afraid of triggering a suicide attempt by shaming him? Am I just good at calling out people for problematic sexist/racist/hetero-normative statements and not sexual-harassment-type statements?
Your input is appreciated.