(no subject)
your uneducated if you think you dont have dozens of oppurtunities open to you. ive been to that point where i feel like ive been enclosed and somehow everyone has come to hate me. i get it. im weird. but, thats me..thats how i feel i should be. people will always love you. even if they dont know whats best for you. they know what they think is best. my problem is that i find myself stopping and thinking, remembering. i dont know if i could ever believe in this institution again. i dont know if i could ever spend a lifetime in my own personal hell. so i dont know why im protecting you. its not revenge. i can never stop helping. people expect nothing less of me if theyve learned to expect anything from me at all. the places i have to run to are so far away. i dont know if i believe this is the end to this part of life or not. im a rather confused individual.
is it okay to be infatuated with something you lost years ago? i think i could be in love with my daydreams for the rest of my life. im missing a lot from my life but im still grateful. i guess thats the wisdom ive come to learn. if i dont have to see my daughter in unnatural pain or watch my family torn apart i can live. i hate the sight of pain. i hate the idea of losing something for good. otherwise i feel all other normal pains of life. i couldnt expect to go by without them. sometimes it just feels like too much at once. its nothing i cannot learn to accept eventually. there is a problem when a person is given a gift they cannot see or understand. you can make the most of your life that is given to you. human nature to want something you cannot have. something that is meant to be experienced. but it is impossible to have everything.
i want a love like ive never been able to put my hands on before. i want my daughter to be happy and understand this. i want her to only be spoiled with love from 2 great parents and eventually someone else. i want a little adventure. i want to be able to see like an artist. i want to help people with what i can. i want to know better. i want to be comfortable. not a mansion or anything. just a house.
i dont know. too much in this head of mine thats locked up like a vault.
is it okay to be infatuated with something you lost years ago? i think i could be in love with my daydreams for the rest of my life. im missing a lot from my life but im still grateful. i guess thats the wisdom ive come to learn. if i dont have to see my daughter in unnatural pain or watch my family torn apart i can live. i hate the sight of pain. i hate the idea of losing something for good. otherwise i feel all other normal pains of life. i couldnt expect to go by without them. sometimes it just feels like too much at once. its nothing i cannot learn to accept eventually. there is a problem when a person is given a gift they cannot see or understand. you can make the most of your life that is given to you. human nature to want something you cannot have. something that is meant to be experienced. but it is impossible to have everything.
i want a love like ive never been able to put my hands on before. i want my daughter to be happy and understand this. i want her to only be spoiled with love from 2 great parents and eventually someone else. i want a little adventure. i want to be able to see like an artist. i want to help people with what i can. i want to know better. i want to be comfortable. not a mansion or anything. just a house.
i dont know. too much in this head of mine thats locked up like a vault.