(no subject)
After last night I'm gonna have to make a retraction to previous enties entry. There is one person I truly believe gives a shit about me and has my back here in Shitville. That's not a lot considering the number of people I'm acquainted with, but I'll gladly take it.
It's funny how a person can get so caught up in their own problems, that they don't notice there are others in different situations that are just as fucked up in other ways. I witnessed many things last night. Some were nice, but most were extremely fucked up and dramatic. I saw first hand how living like you have nothing worth losing can bite you in the ass later, alcohol doesn't make a painful moment between two people any less sad and fucked up, how having people who care about you there at a low moment can totally save you from a bad ending. Most importantly I saw that no matter how much you care about someone, if they don't see it or choose to acknowledge it. All you can do is pick up your hurt feelings and move on. If you leave yourself open to them it's not going to suddenly change things. They're used to it being there and may never notice it until it isn't. If you drive past the same tree everyday, odds are you're not going to notice anything special about it until something changes or the tree just isn't there. Why? It's just part of the everyday scenery.
I had to play older brother more than I'd like to last night. Although I see it another way. If I hadn't been there a lot worse could have and most likely would have happened. Definite buzz kill, but a buzz kill with purpose...
It's funny how a person can get so caught up in their own problems, that they don't notice there are others in different situations that are just as fucked up in other ways. I witnessed many things last night. Some were nice, but most were extremely fucked up and dramatic. I saw first hand how living like you have nothing worth losing can bite you in the ass later, alcohol doesn't make a painful moment between two people any less sad and fucked up, how having people who care about you there at a low moment can totally save you from a bad ending. Most importantly I saw that no matter how much you care about someone, if they don't see it or choose to acknowledge it. All you can do is pick up your hurt feelings and move on. If you leave yourself open to them it's not going to suddenly change things. They're used to it being there and may never notice it until it isn't. If you drive past the same tree everyday, odds are you're not going to notice anything special about it until something changes or the tree just isn't there. Why? It's just part of the everyday scenery.
I had to play older brother more than I'd like to last night. Although I see it another way. If I hadn't been there a lot worse could have and most likely would have happened. Definite buzz kill, but a buzz kill with purpose...