(no subject)
why is it that we dont know what we've got until its gone? i dont understand it. why do we take things for granted? why do we expect that they'll always be there? sometimes life is so difficult to deal with. but, i guess this is how it was planned to be. i guess this is what he wanted us to go through, right? thats all i can tell myself. that we're supposed to feel these horrible feelings. we're supposed to watch those lovey dovey, sappy movies and long for relationships like that. we're supposed to be the third wheel, supposed to fight with our parents, supposed to be confused on just about every decision we make. but why? why does it have to be so difficult to deal with?! and more importantly, why do we let the good things go?
thats a big question. why do we let the good things go? why do i let these opportunities pass me by? i had the sweetest, most caring, understanding boy in the world. and he liked me. and me, being the dumbass, let him go. why do i do that? why do i not realize how good i could have it..until it's gone? and it was convenient. he lived so close. had a lot of freedom. and was just geniunely nice. basically, a once in a lifetime opportunity. its been a few months, and i still cant seem to forget him. and now he's holding some other girl, standing outside until 4am with her, telling her she's beautiful. life is so unfair sometimes. where's the damn rewind button when you need it?
however, ive also realized you cant cover up feelings for someone with someone new. beginning to like another boy is not the solution to the previous problem. it wont work out.
but i guess this is all part of the plan. the learning experience. life goes on, right? you just gotta roll with the punches, i suppose. i think i just need to stop looking for it. and it'll come. so i've heard this is how it goes, anyway.