lifes lessons
Sometimes life seems cyclical. Sometimes when things are at your worst and you can get a pretty bad case of negative tunnel vision, only seeing the bad ahead. And some of those bad times last for a very very long time. So long sometimes we actually forget what it was like when it was good, as you can tell by my last journal entry. But it seems that when life is at its worst we look for things that make it worse, not search them out, but definitely minimize the good and blow up the bad. I have kind of been thinking for the last few days about how bad things happen to you, and they can make you a better person (or they can make you a hateful son of a bitch, depending on how you react to them.) And I realize that Stevens is making me a hateful son of a bitch. And I can't let it get to me, because it’s all "bullshit." Stevens doesn’t determine the rest of my life, like I've been fearing. I can do whatever I want, if I put my mind to it. Just because I hate my major and my school doesn’t mean I have to let it affect the rest of my life. So, I think I will just keep living my life the way I want. I'll deal with school if that’s what it takes for me to get out of here. And I wont let it change me. I mean life is what you make it. If you get through the shit that life deals you, and not let it change you, that’s respectable. I mean there's a lesson to be learned from this time in my life, and I haven't figured it out yet. It's good to know that there are people who support me, and recognize that I try to be a good person, and do the best I can with what I'm given. Sometimes I neglect those people, and sometimes I don’t treat them as well as I should. But I know they are there, and that is important to me. And I try to treat people, as I would like them to treat me. I think I do a pretty good job. Sometimes when people are assholes I can’t help but returning the favor, but for the most part I try to give people the benefit of the doubt. Anyway… I should start making a lot of short posts instead of these long ones, so people will actually read them, sorry.