What goes around comes around

[bleedxthextruth]

For the first time, ever, I am more sure of something than I have ever been, yet I'm surrounded by uncertainty. I am so sure, infact, that my self preservation isn't even kicking in...I'm still here, even though I know I'm going to end up hurt; that it's my turn this time and I deserve it, because I am sure of how I feel, what I want and as stupid as it is, still hope things won't turn out the way I imagine they will. I'm trying to be patient and understanding but all of this is festering under the surface and coming out in self sabotaging ways, which in the end only adds to the cons list, overshadowing any pros. Things started so differently...they started like they once were and then everything got pulled back; it felt like it was taken back...for all I know it might have been. I'm having to keep things to myself and be reserved as to not push any further. I am so afraid of pushing further that Im keeping everything to myself and only making things worse with my bottled up emotions leading to stupid actions and ridiculous behavior.

I know what I want...but I am afraid to ask because I'm not sure I'm ready for the answer I undoubtedly deserve.