Just a thought
Okay. So how about my computer is totally fried. Yes it is so freaking broken its not even funny. So basically no Aol no Myspace nothing for awhile untill we somehow fix it or get a new one. Which more than likely will be awhile. Somehow I am aloud on livejournal down here though, its weird. O well. Im basically cut off from alot of interaction without it. It seems as if im not "singed on" then i dont exsist to people. Which kind of makes me mad. But o well. Lauren calls me of course.
So much has happened in this past week. I've actually been in pretty good moods. I used to be a very low depressing person. If you remember me from last year you probably wouldnt have approached me because I probably looked gloomy and mean. But this year im really WAHOO and happy. Basically I dont want to spend this year upset and attached to things. I have this phobia to where I get attached to a certain guy every year. Which then causes my year to be good at some moments but shitty and depressing for every moment in between. I dont even know why. Its like I meet them, talk with them, hangout with them then overly obsess about them. But I also have learned that I think it was a little kid puppy love type crush thing.
As Im getting older I realize all that is nonsense. Its really just a waste of time. You spend it thinking about them all the time. I realize that as im getting older Im starting to search for more than looks and hoobies. I mean there are always times when its like " Oah my gosh! He is so freaking hott!" But then again whats the use of that. Or "Dude he plays guitar!" Those are great things but all in all its about feelings and personality. I think high school relationships are dumb and so overrated yet it helps you get an idea of what your looking for, for the future. Instead of falling for guys fast or looking at them for what they do I really just want to sit and wait, search untill I truely find someone worth the time. Whats the use of spending a year "crushing" on someone or having a "fling" with them if they arnt even worth the time of day.Or if they dont care even the tinyest bit about you. Or it ends up just being a friend thing. All in all I think its just a waste. Im not really sure if this is making sense but I know what im talking about in my head. Sometimes I wish I could just go to a different school for a month and meet other boys. The ones I know outside of salem are so much different. And so much more respectful and kinder. Sometimes I really do wonder why most of the salem boys are so shallow. Then again so are most of the salem girls. Even me, I can be truely shallow at times, which possibly could be the reason why I'm single rather than involved.But right now it doesnt bother me. I really think im at my happeiest. I am just having fun with many people. I have met a whole lot of new boys who truely out rank many here. Some people think that you need someone else in order to be satisfied and happy. Or say that being single doesnt work good. But how would they know if they never take the chance to be. Sometimes I think being single puts you in a search to truely find out yourself. You need to know who you are before you try to get with someone and have them try to figure out who you are. And once you do find yourself you should try to go out there and put forth the effort to find someone that will truely make you happy. I know it just doesnt right off the bat happen and that you must go through heartache to find happiness. I also know that people may have found someone yet are told to wait for them. Sometimes I dont really understand that. They say that they care about you so much yet in terms you are meant to wait for them to see if its truely meant to be, yet they are saying that they know that its meant to be but just to wait. I am not truely old enough, wise enough or even experienced enough to probably be even talking about this but all these little sappy love songs have been playing which have been making me think lately.
I think that everyone should go out and do what makes them happy. Fight for what they want. Take charge to find yourself and your true meaning. Fight for the right to lead your heart to happiness.
*It scares me to think
That you could find takers
Other than me
And better than me
But your hand is elsewhere
And im talking enough for both of us
When will you see
Its not so easy for me*
*Where is your boy tonight, I hope he is a gentlemen.*
*I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end.
I will go down, as your lover, your friend.
Give me your lips, and with one kiss we begin
ARE YOU AFRAID OF BEING ALONE?
(cause I am, Im lost without you)
Are you afraid of leaving tonite
(cause I am, Im lost without you)
Ill leave my room open till sunrise for you
Ill keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now? I can hear footsteps, Im dreaming.
And if you will keep me from waking, to believe this.
I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end.
I will go down, as your lover, your friend.
Give me your lips, and with one kiss we begin
ARE YOU AFRAID OF BEING ALONE?
(cause I am, Im lost without you)
Are you afraid of leaving tonite
(cause I am, Im lost without you)*
*Heres a letter for you
But the words get confused
And the conversation dies
Apologize for the past
Talk some shit take it back
Are we cursed through this life*
*Love is just a hoax
So forget everything that you've heard<33
Bridget
So much has happened in this past week. I've actually been in pretty good moods. I used to be a very low depressing person. If you remember me from last year you probably wouldnt have approached me because I probably looked gloomy and mean. But this year im really WAHOO and happy. Basically I dont want to spend this year upset and attached to things. I have this phobia to where I get attached to a certain guy every year. Which then causes my year to be good at some moments but shitty and depressing for every moment in between. I dont even know why. Its like I meet them, talk with them, hangout with them then overly obsess about them. But I also have learned that I think it was a little kid puppy love type crush thing.
As Im getting older I realize all that is nonsense. Its really just a waste of time. You spend it thinking about them all the time. I realize that as im getting older Im starting to search for more than looks and hoobies. I mean there are always times when its like " Oah my gosh! He is so freaking hott!" But then again whats the use of that. Or "Dude he plays guitar!" Those are great things but all in all its about feelings and personality. I think high school relationships are dumb and so overrated yet it helps you get an idea of what your looking for, for the future. Instead of falling for guys fast or looking at them for what they do I really just want to sit and wait, search untill I truely find someone worth the time. Whats the use of spending a year "crushing" on someone or having a "fling" with them if they arnt even worth the time of day.Or if they dont care even the tinyest bit about you. Or it ends up just being a friend thing. All in all I think its just a waste. Im not really sure if this is making sense but I know what im talking about in my head. Sometimes I wish I could just go to a different school for a month and meet other boys. The ones I know outside of salem are so much different. And so much more respectful and kinder. Sometimes I really do wonder why most of the salem boys are so shallow. Then again so are most of the salem girls. Even me, I can be truely shallow at times, which possibly could be the reason why I'm single rather than involved.But right now it doesnt bother me. I really think im at my happeiest. I am just having fun with many people. I have met a whole lot of new boys who truely out rank many here. Some people think that you need someone else in order to be satisfied and happy. Or say that being single doesnt work good. But how would they know if they never take the chance to be. Sometimes I think being single puts you in a search to truely find out yourself. You need to know who you are before you try to get with someone and have them try to figure out who you are. And once you do find yourself you should try to go out there and put forth the effort to find someone that will truely make you happy. I know it just doesnt right off the bat happen and that you must go through heartache to find happiness. I also know that people may have found someone yet are told to wait for them. Sometimes I dont really understand that. They say that they care about you so much yet in terms you are meant to wait for them to see if its truely meant to be, yet they are saying that they know that its meant to be but just to wait. I am not truely old enough, wise enough or even experienced enough to probably be even talking about this but all these little sappy love songs have been playing which have been making me think lately.
I think that everyone should go out and do what makes them happy. Fight for what they want. Take charge to find yourself and your true meaning. Fight for the right to lead your heart to happiness.
*It scares me to think
That you could find takers
Other than me
And better than me
But your hand is elsewhere
And im talking enough for both of us
When will you see
Its not so easy for me*
*Where is your boy tonight, I hope he is a gentlemen.*
*I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end.
I will go down, as your lover, your friend.
Give me your lips, and with one kiss we begin
ARE YOU AFRAID OF BEING ALONE?
(cause I am, Im lost without you)
Are you afraid of leaving tonite
(cause I am, Im lost without you)
Ill leave my room open till sunrise for you
Ill keep my eyes patiently focused on you
Where are you now? I can hear footsteps, Im dreaming.
And if you will keep me from waking, to believe this.
I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end.
I will go down, as your lover, your friend.
Give me your lips, and with one kiss we begin
ARE YOU AFRAID OF BEING ALONE?
(cause I am, Im lost without you)
Are you afraid of leaving tonite
(cause I am, Im lost without you)*
*Heres a letter for you
But the words get confused
And the conversation dies
Apologize for the past
Talk some shit take it back
Are we cursed through this life*
*Love is just a hoax
So forget everything that you've heard<33
Bridget