(no subject)
Is it possible for a class to consume you? This whole weekend has been about Social Inequality. I've gotten about si hours of sleep over the past three days and in my waking hours I'm reading./studying or thinking about social/ecoominc inequities that plaque society. I can't help but feel doomed from the start. I have no money, a dead-end job, no desire to study/graduate college but I also don't want to be stuck in my summer job and make a career out of it. And I'm tired of thinking about social reprocution theory. When I sleep, I dream about it. It seems everything can be traced bac to this one class. And what really gets me going is the fact that I think I'm failing the class. I'm tired. I have more work to do before Tuesay of next week and I can't get over how this all seems too costly. Is my youth worth another five to six years of school? How badly do I want to break away from parents? My job? How badly do I need pocket cash while I am in school? How badly do I want to be a lawyer? Would I even be successful? With my current attitude and motivation, it's not likely. I'll most likely be placed on academic probation next term. And my parents think that school is going so well. I want to talk to my mom. I want to talk to someone. Someone who doesn't know me. Someone who finds it acceptable to hear my complaining and help me make sense of what's going on. I want to sleep well, do my homework, bring my grades up, and feel better about myself. I want to know that there's a safety net beneath me and not just pavement after an eighty story fall. I want to engage in an intellectual conversation and for once have confidence in what I am saying.I want to have the balls to tell my parents that I'm struggling and need their help. What I need is AAA for life's roadside breakdowns.