The funny thing is I actually missed him when he came back last month...Fuck That!!!
Basmintmonstr: you around?
Basmintmonstr: guess not
BurningBaby17: hey
Basmintmonstr: hello
Basmintmonstr: i sent you an email
BurningBaby17: i'll check it
Basmintmonstr: okay
BurningBaby17: m'kay
BurningBaby17: don't make it seem that you are letting me go because you aren't i've already been gone
Basmintmonstr: i know but ive always want to be the guy that shows back up and is all better
Basmintmonstr: you treated me like a king... all i want to do is treat you like the queen you need to be treated like
BurningBaby17: yeah but you always disappear
Basmintmonstr: not anymore
Basmintmonstr: i thought that if i just moved away everythign would be better
Basmintmonstr: im not doing that anymore
Basmintmonstr: i ran all i could
Basmintmonstr: lied to cover it up
Basmintmonstr: ...
Basmintmonstr: but i just didnt see how i was digging myself deeper and deepeer
BurningBaby17: i'm not talking about you moving...i'm talking about you popping back up saying all this stuff to me then one day just not calling or showing up anymore...
BurningBaby17: and this time it didn't even phase me... i'm tired of guys treating me like shit
BurningBaby17: i'm tired of being taken for granted
BurningBaby17: and thats how i feel
Basmintmonstr: meg. my life is ordinary... plain borring
Basmintmonstr: i thought if i could do something noone else done or went somewhere else noones been then id have something to talk about
BurningBaby17: what? you think i'm living some fantastic life where everyday i wake up i have some adventure to behold?
BurningBaby17: i live in hell...only if you knew
Basmintmonstr: i know now its not the past that counts its the future
Basmintmonstr: well i found the way to get out of hell
Basmintmonstr: you know my life better than ME
Basmintmonstr: but not this Will
Basmintmonstr: not the REAL Will
Basmintmonstr: this is even new to me
BurningBaby17: you want to get married...you want to settle down and have the all american dream...that isn't for me ..never will be
BurningBaby17: its always the same story
BurningBaby17: everytime i talk to you after you just go away out of the blue it's the same story
BurningBaby17: but each time a different "Will"
BurningBaby17: god..you don't even know me anymore
BurningBaby17: i'm not 16 anymore
Basmintmonstr: i do
Basmintmonstr: why trust me
Basmintmonstr: ill say that at one point yes i lied
Basmintmonstr: and i lied alot
Basmintmonstr: and it got me absoultly nowhere
Basmintmonstr: and i changed that
Basmintmonstr: everything about me
Basmintmonstr: my train of thought
BurningBaby17: so did you lie to me the last time you saw me?
Basmintmonstr: absolutly not
BurningBaby17: then why did you just up and run again?
BurningBaby17: i don't care
BurningBaby17: i'm over it
BurningBaby17: i'm not trying to be a bitch
Basmintmonstr: you dont understand how much i want you back
BurningBaby17: i can't be with you
Basmintmonstr: you dont care?
BurningBaby17: not ever
Basmintmonstr: ...
Basmintmonstr: i started out thinking like that
BurningBaby17: my problem is I cared even after I shouldn't have
Basmintmonstr: never?
Basmintmonstr: so i opened up to you and told you how i felt and it was for nothing?
Basmintmonstr: ....
Basmintmonstr: thanks meg
BurningBaby17: we aren't who we used to be ... you aren't the same...i'm not the same...i'll never be that young meagen again...so vulnerable...
BurningBaby17: I was having second thoughts when you came back
BurningBaby17: I thought about it
Basmintmonstr: i know i know i know
BurningBaby17: I considered it
Basmintmonstr: i know
Basmintmonstr: dAMM IT
Basmintmonstr: SO HAVE I
BurningBaby17: Then you fucking just left!!!
BurningBaby17: for weeks!
BurningBaby17: no call no email
BurningBaby17: all it was "i'm sorry i gotta go"
BurningBaby17: I can't do that anymore
BurningBaby17: At least Chris never just disappeared on me like you did
Basmintmonstr: YEA THATS WHY YOU WENT BACK TO HIM?
BurningBaby17: I'm not with him...
Basmintmonstr: so i guess it was good for me leaveing?
BurningBaby17: I'm not fucking with him!!!
Basmintmonstr: okay
Basmintmonstr: can i call you tomorrow?
BurningBaby17: i have work
BurningBaby17: you just said in your email you have to let me go
BurningBaby17: so why you hanging on?
Basmintmonstr: i dont know
Basmintmonstr: i realy dont
Basmintmonstr: to me your saing im not worth shit
Basmintmonstr: i guess im not
Basmintmonstr: so why did i change
BurningBaby17: no i'm not saying that
BurningBaby17: i'm just saying i can't do this
Basmintmonstr: im thinking at least as the monster i was happy
BurningBaby17: i'm saying we aren't the same two people we where 3-4 years ago
Basmintmonstr: i was happy with you
Basmintmonstr: im just wanting you to see the WILL i am now
BurningBaby17: Me and you are completely different if we try it again its gonna be forced
Basmintmonstr: maybe you would like to go out to hang out as friends
Basmintmonstr: im not looking for a relationship with you
BurningBaby17: You tried showing me that...but what have you really shown me? You showed me you could leave again without reasoning
Basmintmonstr: ive found someone else
BurningBaby17: OMG I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU
PAUSE FROM THE CONVO: SEE NOW IF HE FOUND SOMEONE ELSE THEN WHY DID HE CALL ME ON HIS BIRTHDAY IN APRIL TO COME SEE HIM AND HANG OUT WITH HIM? WHY DID HE KEEP TELLING ME HE STILL LOVED ME AND WANTED TO WORK IT OUT? I THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR HALF A SECOND I'M GLAD I DIDN'T GO BACK...
Basmintmonstr: damm it meg
Basmintmonstr: you still dont see?
Basmintmonstr: you helped me change
Basmintmonstr: you
Basmintmonstr: you gave me the wake up call i needed
BurningBaby17: Just a few weeks ago...a few fucking weeks ago you were wanting us to work out... then you leave again...now you have someone else?
BurningBaby17: don't play me
BurningBaby17: don't play with my head
Basmintmonstr: im not
Basmintmonstr: damm
Basmintmonstr: f
Basmintmonstr: r
Basmintmonstr: i
Basmintmonstr: e
Basmintmonstr: n
Basmintmonstr: d
Basmintmonstr: s
Basmintmonstr: i want to be friends with you
BurningBaby17: NO that is not what you were saying to me a few weeks ago...when I saw you for your Mom's bday...you were saying you wanted to hopefully be with me again
BurningBaby17: to work things out
BurningBaby17: and now now you have someone else?
Basmintmonstr: i had the most fun around you and that god damm clown movie
BurningBaby17: do you understand how torn I felt
BurningBaby17: Between you and Chris
Basmintmonstr: your not looking for the same thing im looking for
BurningBaby17: Cuz you both tell me these things but then when I start to fall into it something fucking fucks it up!! Fuck this!
Basmintmonstr: i want to get marriend one day and have a kid
Basmintmonstr: you dont want that
BurningBaby17: Nope..you're right
BurningBaby17: so stop! let me fucking go
BurningBaby17: I hope she makes you happy
Basmintmonstr: ...
BurningBaby17: I hope Shauna Makes Chris happy
BurningBaby17: I hope I make myself Happy
Basmintmonstr: damn it meg
Basmintmonstr: your not listening to me
BurningBaby17: because you dont' make sense to me
Basmintmonstr: so much is flowing through my head its killing me
Basmintmonstr: part of me wants to take you to vegas and marry you but part of me wants to run
Basmintmonstr: you showed me running is not the answer
Basmintmonstr: my entire lifestyle has changed
Basmintmonstr: all i want to do is be your friend
Basmintmonstr: its the best outcome that ive thought of
Basmintmonstr: i would die to be your boyfriend... yet as you said its not going to happen
Basmintmonstr: so im lookinjg to settle with the next best thing
Basmintmonstr: friends
BurningBaby17: i don't see how that is possible
Basmintmonstr: then it is the best thing to go our seperate ways
Basmintmonstr signed off at 2:53:48 AM.