Fic: Supernatural: Jedi!Verse: Dean/Castiel: And He Haunts My Dreams [2/5]
Title: And He Haunts My Dreams (2/5)
Author: nicole9514
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Fusion w/Star Wars, slash, action, romance
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Warnings: mentions of torture, abuse, death
Spoilers: None
A/N: This fic takes place in my recently created Jedi!verse series of fics - where both Dean and Castiel are Jedi - with a forbidden attraction to each other.
Summary: Jedi Master Castiel disobey's the council and embarks on a dangerous mission to locate the man who tortured him.
Word Count: 2,203
New to the series; here's a Link to the Masterpost
Dean was worried. Cas hadn’t returned after his conversation with Ellen, and the Jedi Master wasn’t one to leave without at least a goodbye.
Dean had told Anna that he was sure everything was fine, and to head to her room. He’d check in with her Master, then get back with her.
That had been three hours ago.
Cas wasn’t answering his comlink; and Dean couldn’t shake the horrible sensation that something was wrong.
He had never been to Cas’s place, but it hadn’t been that hard to find out where the Jedi Master lived.
He hopped off the speeder bike, and bolted up a flight of steps to Cas’s second floor apartment and pressed the door chime.
No response.
Dean closed his eyes and connected with the force, searching for a familiar presence.
He felt it in seconds.
Cas was in there, he was just pretending he wasn’t.
Weird.
“Cas it’s me.” Dean rang the bell again.
Still nothing.
“Cas, I know you’re in there. Open the door.”
Seconds later his door swooshed open, and Cas watched him with wild eyes. His hair was sticking up in ways Dean hadn’t thought possible, and his jaw was set in a hard line. “You shouldn‘t be here, Dean.” His voice was flat, controlled.
Dean stiffened. “You left without saying anything, Cas.”
Cas stared at him, his expression impossible to read, his emotions masked. “I wasn’t aware I had to check in with you.”
Dean swallowed, bile scratching at the back of his throat as he struggled to make sense of Cas’s behavior. “What the hell is going on with you?” Dean attempted to step inside, but Cas blocked him.
His expression morphed into something downright scary. “Leave.”
Dean was dumbstruck. “Look, something’s obviously got your panties in a bunch - let me help.”
Cas’s face flickered with an indecipherable emotion that vanished in seconds, then it was back to that cold, detached, mask. “I don‘t need your help.” Cas lifted his chin. “I’m not a child, Dean. ” The venom in his voice felt like a punch in the gut, and was so unlike the man he knew.
Dean reflexively wondered how he’d managed to fuck this up already? His brain raced through the days events - but he came up blank. As far as he knew, he’d done nothing to warrant this bizarre behavior.
Dean opened his mouth to scream, or plead with the man when Cas stepped forward, his blue eyes blazing with dozens of emotions, so jumbled Dean wasn’t sure what he was seeing. “Leave now,” he hissed.
Dean felt an ache in his chest, that turned to anger. “Don’t worry Master, Castiel,” Dean snarled. Frustration, confusion, and hurt boiling inside of him. “I am.”
****
Cas watched Dean leave, his heart breaking, but it had been the only way. Dean never would have left otherwise - he couldn’t involve him in this.
He was about to disregard his orders to not get involved. He was about to embark on a journey that could possibly get him killed, or at the very least banished from the order.
They would see this as him seeking revenge. Giving into his anger, and rage - allowing it to control him as he ended Alastair’s life.
That wasn’t what this was - Cas knew what Alastair would do - what he might already be doing. Killing, abusing, torturing - they were all fun to him. It was the sole pleasure he took from life.
He was a rare kind of evil. The kind that didn’t do it for money, or a higher goal. He simply enjoyed watching the world burn.
Anyone he hurt or killed was on Cas’s conscience, because he hadn’t had the nerve to end him. Instead choosing to have him locked away - it had been foolish.
Now he was out.
Castiel didn’t want revenge; he wanted to prevent anyone else from suffering as he had.
It was his responsibility to clean up this mess. No one else should have to risk their life.
Especially not Dean.
His chest ached - he only hoped if he survived this Dean would forgive him.
Cas bagged up his few belongings, and double checked the information his contact had sent him. He was to meet her a day from now on Junkfort Station. Many smugglers frequented the location, and Cas had become quite familiar with some of the shadier types during his time hunting down Alastair.
That’s where he’d met Bela Talbot. Information was her business, and she had assured him she should have something on Alastair’s whereabouts by then.
Bela wasn’t exactly trustworthy, but she had given him good intelligence in the past, and she knew of his and Alastair’s history. She wasn’t any more fond of that menace than he was - he trusted that she would help bring him down.
And he knew no one better at getting what she wanted than Bela.
Cas headed out the door, his heart heavy.
*****
Cas had gotten off Coruscant without incident. When you’d spent the better part of a year staying under the radar, and going unnoticed, it wasn’t a skill you lost.
He was on a cargo vessel that was scheduled to refuel at Junkfort Station. A few Jedi mind tricks later the Captain had thought his name was Lou Veng, and he was searching for work; The captain had been kind enough to give him a bunk to sleep in, and Cas sat down in the small area, and tried to relax.
His mind was racing, and he knew if he slept he’d probably be plagued with nightmares.
Knowing Alastair was out there - it made him sick.
If he dwelled on it, the panic would start to creep upward out of the cage he’d locked it in. He could not allow that.
He hated feeling like this - and he missed Dean.
His eyes burned as he remembered the shock, and hurt on Dean’s face when he’d lashed out at him. He could still hear the cruelty in his own voice - he hadn’t meant any of it, but Dean didn’t know that.
In all honestly, he wanted the other man here with him - but that would have been incredibly selfish. To ruin his own life was one thing, to ruin Dean’s - it was unacceptable.
Cas sighed, and managed to calm himself.
He laid down on the uncomfortable mattress, and listened to the sound of the engine, the clanging of pipes, and felt his eyes start to drift.
“You know, you almost pulled this off.” A deep, familiar voice rumbled from above him.
Cas’s eyes flew open, and he saw Dean’s green eyes hovering above him.
Cas sat up, surprise, joy, worry all rolling around inside of him. “What are yo-”
“I was so angry, I almost didn‘t realize,” Dean cut in, “that you had gotten me to leave without ever actually answering my question.”
Cas swallowed.
“I followed you once I calmed down,” his eyes burned into Cas’s. “And I heard the report about an escaped convict on the holo-net.”
Dean sat down next to Cas, close, but not touching him.
“It was him wasn’t it - the man you told me about?”
“Yes,” he forced out.
“Damn it, Cas. You should have come to me.”
Cas buried his face in his hands. “I wanted to keep you out of this, Dean,” he whispered.
“I get that, you wanted to protect me from the Council’s wrath,” Dean smirked, then his face turned somber. “But that isn’t your choice to make, it’s mine.”
Cas exhaled. “I’m disobeying a direct order, Dean. There won‘t be any talking my way out of this, no loop holes - they‘ll be furious no matter the outcome. ”
“What if our situations were reversed?” Dean challenged, “Would you just sit around twiddling your thumbs while I went off alone, planning to take on an unofficial ‘Dark Jedi.” He waited, watching.
“No,” Cas admitted, staring at the floor, managing to keep the quaver out of his voice.
Dean touched his face, and forced him to meet his eyes. “You’d be there for me, so let me be here for you.”
Cas was stunned at Dean’s words, at the affection in his voice. He had been seeing more layers to the man than he’d ever thought possible. After how cold and harsh he’d been this morning; Dean was here, and he wasn’t lashing out.
He was reaching out.
Cas hadn’t realized how much he’d needed him with him on this, how much of a relief it was that he wouldn’t be facing this alone.
“I’m so glad you’re here, Dean,” he breathed.
Dean’s face relaxed, and he exhaled, his hand taking Cas’s.
Cas squeezed.
“So, what’s the plan?” Dean asked, while rubbing his thumb over Cas’s knuckles.
****
Dean was sitting on the floor next to Cas’s small cot checking his blaster. He relied more on his saber, but it didn’t hurt to have a back-up weapon.
Cas had filled him in on his plan to meet with a woman named Bela Talbot. Dean had heard of her, and he wasn’t happy about having to rely on someone so revered as being ‘unreliable.’ He supposed beggars, couldn’t be choosers. He’d make sure to look into her more before they arrived.
And then there was the wonderful news that Alastair had, had help escaping.
A small, paranoid part of Dean’s brain kept wondering if one of their traitors had done this. If it was part of some plan, a bigger picture neither of them could see yet.
But he ignored it for now.
Stopping this man was important to Cas - and it was important to Dean as well. The thought that this monster was lose, it scared the hell out of him, and made him want to hit something all at once.
He was controlling both those emotions surprisingly well, meditation worked. Who knew?
Now there was just one more thing he had to discuss with Cas. He felt like a hutt-spawn for even thinking it, but he had to be sure.
He couldn’t lose Cas to this.
He treaded carefully, easing into the topic. “Can I ask you something?”
Cas looked up from his meditation, and nodded, his eyes warm. “Of course.”
“Why didn’t you kill him the first time?”
Cas stilled; his body tensed.
Dean kept his expression gentle.
“Because, if I had killed him that day, in the emotional state I was in, I would have lost myself as well.”
Dean had suspected as much, but he appreciated the honesty. He nodded. “You would have struck him down in anger.”
A small nod.
Dean took Cas’s hands- not caring if anyone saw. They weren’t Jedi today; just two men traveling on a cargo ship. Neither of them wore their robes, and their lightsaber’s were concealed.
Cas relaxed slightly.
“I have to ask, baby,” Dean felt his throat constrict, and he had to take a few deep breaths before continuing. “How do you know it’ll be different this time?”
Dean hated himself for asking, but he knew he had to - Cas had called him on his shit when he’d given into his anger. He needed to know why Cas was doing this. He didn’t seem like the revenge type - but what Alastair had done to him - it would have made a lesser man snap.
Cas had survived, pulled himself together, and he’d come out stronger.
Still, Dean had to be sure.
Cas didn’t seem upset with his question, in fact he relaxed, and touched Dean’s face. “I don’t want revenge Dean,” his words rang with the sincerity of an oath. His head tilted. “I want to stop him from hurting anyone else, spare them the pain I endured.” He glanced down, then back up. “I wasn’t able to end this evil before, I wasn’t strong enough - I think I am now.”
Dean believed him. “Cas,” Dean surprised himself by admitting. “You are the strongest person I know.”
Cas’s mouth opened, then closed, his blue orbs were bright. “Thank you.”
Dean shrugged and looked away, wondering when he’d gotten better at this sensitive shit.
“You know another reason this time is different Dean,” Cas paused, Dean looked back up, and met his eyes. “Because this time, I’m not alone.”
Dean swallowed, his heart doing funny things in his chest.
Cas bent down, and kissed him, drinking him in - Dean drowned in the other man’s mouth. He mapped out the inside of his lover’s mouth with his tongue, while his hands massaged Cas’s neck.
They were both breathing hard when they pulled apart.
This wasn’t going to be an easy road, and Dean knew he could lose his robes over this, but it didn’t bother him as much he’d thought it would.
Helping Cas, stopping this evil, it felt right.
And he trusted his feelings more than an order from the council.
Dean climbed up next to Cas, and joined him in quiet meditation. They wouldn’t reach the station until tomorrow and he had a feeling they were both going to need it.
Part 3
Feel free to friend this journal for the insanity :P
Comments are always loved; how else will I know if anyone is still enjoying this series :)
Author: nicole9514
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Fusion w/Star Wars, slash, action, romance
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Warnings: mentions of torture, abuse, death
Spoilers: None
A/N: This fic takes place in my recently created Jedi!verse series of fics - where both Dean and Castiel are Jedi - with a forbidden attraction to each other.
Summary: Jedi Master Castiel disobey's the council and embarks on a dangerous mission to locate the man who tortured him.
Word Count: 2,203
New to the series; here's a Link to the Masterpost
Dean was worried. Cas hadn’t returned after his conversation with Ellen, and the Jedi Master wasn’t one to leave without at least a goodbye.
Dean had told Anna that he was sure everything was fine, and to head to her room. He’d check in with her Master, then get back with her.
That had been three hours ago.
Cas wasn’t answering his comlink; and Dean couldn’t shake the horrible sensation that something was wrong.
He had never been to Cas’s place, but it hadn’t been that hard to find out where the Jedi Master lived.
He hopped off the speeder bike, and bolted up a flight of steps to Cas’s second floor apartment and pressed the door chime.
No response.
Dean closed his eyes and connected with the force, searching for a familiar presence.
He felt it in seconds.
Cas was in there, he was just pretending he wasn’t.
Weird.
“Cas it’s me.” Dean rang the bell again.
Still nothing.
“Cas, I know you’re in there. Open the door.”
Seconds later his door swooshed open, and Cas watched him with wild eyes. His hair was sticking up in ways Dean hadn’t thought possible, and his jaw was set in a hard line. “You shouldn‘t be here, Dean.” His voice was flat, controlled.
Dean stiffened. “You left without saying anything, Cas.”
Cas stared at him, his expression impossible to read, his emotions masked. “I wasn’t aware I had to check in with you.”
Dean swallowed, bile scratching at the back of his throat as he struggled to make sense of Cas’s behavior. “What the hell is going on with you?” Dean attempted to step inside, but Cas blocked him.
His expression morphed into something downright scary. “Leave.”
Dean was dumbstruck. “Look, something’s obviously got your panties in a bunch - let me help.”
Cas’s face flickered with an indecipherable emotion that vanished in seconds, then it was back to that cold, detached, mask. “I don‘t need your help.” Cas lifted his chin. “I’m not a child, Dean. ” The venom in his voice felt like a punch in the gut, and was so unlike the man he knew.
Dean reflexively wondered how he’d managed to fuck this up already? His brain raced through the days events - but he came up blank. As far as he knew, he’d done nothing to warrant this bizarre behavior.
Dean opened his mouth to scream, or plead with the man when Cas stepped forward, his blue eyes blazing with dozens of emotions, so jumbled Dean wasn’t sure what he was seeing. “Leave now,” he hissed.
Dean felt an ache in his chest, that turned to anger. “Don’t worry Master, Castiel,” Dean snarled. Frustration, confusion, and hurt boiling inside of him. “I am.”
****
Cas watched Dean leave, his heart breaking, but it had been the only way. Dean never would have left otherwise - he couldn’t involve him in this.
He was about to disregard his orders to not get involved. He was about to embark on a journey that could possibly get him killed, or at the very least banished from the order.
They would see this as him seeking revenge. Giving into his anger, and rage - allowing it to control him as he ended Alastair’s life.
That wasn’t what this was - Cas knew what Alastair would do - what he might already be doing. Killing, abusing, torturing - they were all fun to him. It was the sole pleasure he took from life.
He was a rare kind of evil. The kind that didn’t do it for money, or a higher goal. He simply enjoyed watching the world burn.
Anyone he hurt or killed was on Cas’s conscience, because he hadn’t had the nerve to end him. Instead choosing to have him locked away - it had been foolish.
Now he was out.
Castiel didn’t want revenge; he wanted to prevent anyone else from suffering as he had.
It was his responsibility to clean up this mess. No one else should have to risk their life.
Especially not Dean.
His chest ached - he only hoped if he survived this Dean would forgive him.
Cas bagged up his few belongings, and double checked the information his contact had sent him. He was to meet her a day from now on Junkfort Station. Many smugglers frequented the location, and Cas had become quite familiar with some of the shadier types during his time hunting down Alastair.
That’s where he’d met Bela Talbot. Information was her business, and she had assured him she should have something on Alastair’s whereabouts by then.
Bela wasn’t exactly trustworthy, but she had given him good intelligence in the past, and she knew of his and Alastair’s history. She wasn’t any more fond of that menace than he was - he trusted that she would help bring him down.
And he knew no one better at getting what she wanted than Bela.
Cas headed out the door, his heart heavy.
*****
Cas had gotten off Coruscant without incident. When you’d spent the better part of a year staying under the radar, and going unnoticed, it wasn’t a skill you lost.
He was on a cargo vessel that was scheduled to refuel at Junkfort Station. A few Jedi mind tricks later the Captain had thought his name was Lou Veng, and he was searching for work; The captain had been kind enough to give him a bunk to sleep in, and Cas sat down in the small area, and tried to relax.
His mind was racing, and he knew if he slept he’d probably be plagued with nightmares.
Knowing Alastair was out there - it made him sick.
If he dwelled on it, the panic would start to creep upward out of the cage he’d locked it in. He could not allow that.
He hated feeling like this - and he missed Dean.
His eyes burned as he remembered the shock, and hurt on Dean’s face when he’d lashed out at him. He could still hear the cruelty in his own voice - he hadn’t meant any of it, but Dean didn’t know that.
In all honestly, he wanted the other man here with him - but that would have been incredibly selfish. To ruin his own life was one thing, to ruin Dean’s - it was unacceptable.
Cas sighed, and managed to calm himself.
He laid down on the uncomfortable mattress, and listened to the sound of the engine, the clanging of pipes, and felt his eyes start to drift.
“You know, you almost pulled this off.” A deep, familiar voice rumbled from above him.
Cas’s eyes flew open, and he saw Dean’s green eyes hovering above him.
Cas sat up, surprise, joy, worry all rolling around inside of him. “What are yo-”
“I was so angry, I almost didn‘t realize,” Dean cut in, “that you had gotten me to leave without ever actually answering my question.”
Cas swallowed.
“I followed you once I calmed down,” his eyes burned into Cas’s. “And I heard the report about an escaped convict on the holo-net.”
Dean sat down next to Cas, close, but not touching him.
“It was him wasn’t it - the man you told me about?”
“Yes,” he forced out.
“Damn it, Cas. You should have come to me.”
Cas buried his face in his hands. “I wanted to keep you out of this, Dean,” he whispered.
“I get that, you wanted to protect me from the Council’s wrath,” Dean smirked, then his face turned somber. “But that isn’t your choice to make, it’s mine.”
Cas exhaled. “I’m disobeying a direct order, Dean. There won‘t be any talking my way out of this, no loop holes - they‘ll be furious no matter the outcome. ”
“What if our situations were reversed?” Dean challenged, “Would you just sit around twiddling your thumbs while I went off alone, planning to take on an unofficial ‘Dark Jedi.” He waited, watching.
“No,” Cas admitted, staring at the floor, managing to keep the quaver out of his voice.
Dean touched his face, and forced him to meet his eyes. “You’d be there for me, so let me be here for you.”
Cas was stunned at Dean’s words, at the affection in his voice. He had been seeing more layers to the man than he’d ever thought possible. After how cold and harsh he’d been this morning; Dean was here, and he wasn’t lashing out.
He was reaching out.
Cas hadn’t realized how much he’d needed him with him on this, how much of a relief it was that he wouldn’t be facing this alone.
“I’m so glad you’re here, Dean,” he breathed.
Dean’s face relaxed, and he exhaled, his hand taking Cas’s.
Cas squeezed.
“So, what’s the plan?” Dean asked, while rubbing his thumb over Cas’s knuckles.
****
Dean was sitting on the floor next to Cas’s small cot checking his blaster. He relied more on his saber, but it didn’t hurt to have a back-up weapon.
Cas had filled him in on his plan to meet with a woman named Bela Talbot. Dean had heard of her, and he wasn’t happy about having to rely on someone so revered as being ‘unreliable.’ He supposed beggars, couldn’t be choosers. He’d make sure to look into her more before they arrived.
And then there was the wonderful news that Alastair had, had help escaping.
A small, paranoid part of Dean’s brain kept wondering if one of their traitors had done this. If it was part of some plan, a bigger picture neither of them could see yet.
But he ignored it for now.
Stopping this man was important to Cas - and it was important to Dean as well. The thought that this monster was lose, it scared the hell out of him, and made him want to hit something all at once.
He was controlling both those emotions surprisingly well, meditation worked. Who knew?
Now there was just one more thing he had to discuss with Cas. He felt like a hutt-spawn for even thinking it, but he had to be sure.
He couldn’t lose Cas to this.
He treaded carefully, easing into the topic. “Can I ask you something?”
Cas looked up from his meditation, and nodded, his eyes warm. “Of course.”
“Why didn’t you kill him the first time?”
Cas stilled; his body tensed.
Dean kept his expression gentle.
“Because, if I had killed him that day, in the emotional state I was in, I would have lost myself as well.”
Dean had suspected as much, but he appreciated the honesty. He nodded. “You would have struck him down in anger.”
A small nod.
Dean took Cas’s hands- not caring if anyone saw. They weren’t Jedi today; just two men traveling on a cargo ship. Neither of them wore their robes, and their lightsaber’s were concealed.
Cas relaxed slightly.
“I have to ask, baby,” Dean felt his throat constrict, and he had to take a few deep breaths before continuing. “How do you know it’ll be different this time?”
Dean hated himself for asking, but he knew he had to - Cas had called him on his shit when he’d given into his anger. He needed to know why Cas was doing this. He didn’t seem like the revenge type - but what Alastair had done to him - it would have made a lesser man snap.
Cas had survived, pulled himself together, and he’d come out stronger.
Still, Dean had to be sure.
Cas didn’t seem upset with his question, in fact he relaxed, and touched Dean’s face. “I don’t want revenge Dean,” his words rang with the sincerity of an oath. His head tilted. “I want to stop him from hurting anyone else, spare them the pain I endured.” He glanced down, then back up. “I wasn’t able to end this evil before, I wasn’t strong enough - I think I am now.”
Dean believed him. “Cas,” Dean surprised himself by admitting. “You are the strongest person I know.”
Cas’s mouth opened, then closed, his blue orbs were bright. “Thank you.”
Dean shrugged and looked away, wondering when he’d gotten better at this sensitive shit.
“You know another reason this time is different Dean,” Cas paused, Dean looked back up, and met his eyes. “Because this time, I’m not alone.”
Dean swallowed, his heart doing funny things in his chest.
Cas bent down, and kissed him, drinking him in - Dean drowned in the other man’s mouth. He mapped out the inside of his lover’s mouth with his tongue, while his hands massaged Cas’s neck.
They were both breathing hard when they pulled apart.
This wasn’t going to be an easy road, and Dean knew he could lose his robes over this, but it didn’t bother him as much he’d thought it would.
Helping Cas, stopping this evil, it felt right.
And he trusted his feelings more than an order from the council.
Dean climbed up next to Cas, and joined him in quiet meditation. They wouldn’t reach the station until tomorrow and he had a feeling they were both going to need it.
Part 3
Feel free to friend this journal for the insanity :P
Comments are always loved; how else will I know if anyone is still enjoying this series :)