202: KISA ~ sayume214
Title: KISA
Name: Kisa, Byakuya
Suethor: sayume214
Pairings: Byakuya/Kisa
Stats: 88 Chapters, 492,861 words, 120 reviews; average: 5,600 words, 1 review
Rating: Kenpachi..
Appearance: “Her belt had many necklace pendants and key accessories.”
Background: She falls out of a tree and ends up having to be cared for by Byakuya. She ahs a flash back where she sees a dead woman and child. She ends up remaining in his care rather then the forth division because he found her. Oh... wait... she is still in the forth division but he's watching her sleep. “Then, out of nowhere, a cockroach appeared!” and “She screamed for a moment before hurriedly getting on top the bed.” She's... not a very endearing character and nothing happens. And from the chapter summaries this is all about Kisa being a relationship Sue.
Sue Qualifications: She is able to get away with lounging on the property of a noble clan where in she falls out of a tree in front of the leader. That's because she collapses and he is provided an ample time to rescue her. Oh... because some men are after her. And Yamamoto can't tell if she is an enemy or not.
Annoying Attributes: On the positive side of things the writer does acknowledge Hisana in the very first chapter. So few fics do this. However, the second chapter switches to a “you flash back”.
Notes: The summary is a dead give away that this is a Mary Sue. “With no past, a special personality and even more special circumstances that mark her as a threat, she melted his ice. A love will be born and tested as imminent battles approach within themselves and to have a future together.”
Sample: (Chapter 1: The Girl With No Name)
Then, out of nowhere, an unexpected something or someone screaming something that sounded like 'Kyaa!' fell right into his lap from above. That was guaranteed to scare anyone, but the Captain refused to show so. He just allowed himself to blink an eye and, with a composed but clearly mad and eerie face, he looked down and noticed it was a girl.
She looked like she was between 15 and 17 years old, measuring in human years. She was tall. Her brown hair was picked up with a jaw clip. She wore jeans, a black and notorious belt with a bunch of things he was unfamiliar with that looked like some metallic key accessories, a black jacket and a pair of those odd shoes with black and white that, he had noted during his last visits to the Human Realm, many youngsters were into wearing at the moment, Kurosaki Ichigo included. She also happened to be rather dirty, much to his annoyance.
-Ouch… - She expressed simply.
-Just what do you think you're doing? - Byakuya asked while trying his best to keep his composure and, at the same time, convey his discomfort and anger to the strange stranger.
-Sorry, I must've reclined to a side while asleep and fell off the tree branch. Silly me… Ha ha. - She offered with her tongue out to the side and an arm raised high so her hand could reach the back of her head and rub it in order to ease her pain there.
Her blush indicated she did feel apologetic, but such an unapologetic-sounding apology was unacceptable to him.