185: I Won't Forget ~ Sticatto
I found yesterday's Mary Sue because the title was one that really jumped out at you, but even then I didn't think it would have been as crazy. This one isn't as crazy as the other one.
Title: I Won'T Forget
Name: Kyaiu Eruka, Ichimaru Gin
Suthor: Sticatto
Pairings: Shinji/OC
Stats: 7 chapters, 13,002 words, 6 reviews: average: 1850 qords
Rating: Toshiro
Appearance: I didn't pay much attention on this one, it jumped a back and forth POV wise so much
Bacground: Two-hundred fifty years ago Eruka is under Hisagi's command. She is a victim of Aizen, Tosen and her adopted little brother Gin and Hollowfied. Shinji comes running to her rescue. She is in the forth division and because she is hurting they put her to sleep with some sort of dust. Ten years later and despite dying she is seemingly in Soul Society. Fifty years later, she looks like a seventeen year old and is a grocery clerk. This would be around one-hundred ninty years ago and she meets up with Menoly, who will eventually become an Arrancar. She joins the martial arts class and the lady says they need more female students in the class. She then suddenly meets up with Yourichi and recognizes her and she is the person to give everyone makeovers. Shinji then says he brought Eruka to an orphanage. Two hundred fifty years have past by the last chapter. And now it says that she was sealed and sent to the living world. I am not sure if this is modern times or not.
Sue Qualifications: This fanfic is horribly not time line compliant. Shinji was not a captain two-hundred years ago, because the eight division captain a hundred years ago noted which captains had been around a hundred years before. Also, soul society would NOT have sealed her and sent her to the living world.
Annoying Attributes The time line jumps, the fact this could be a good story if there wasn't the POV change and time line shifts and lack of paying attention to canon issues. I mean, she's a nice character and it isn't the character that is the problem this time around.
Sample:
"Gin? What are you doing with this man?" I quietly ask the little boy I practically raised. "I tought you better than this." Our parents, who had adopted us both, had left, and I had rasied him since.
"I'm only doing whats best, Sissy." My little adopted brother replied.
"Aizen! How dare you do this to my little brother! What are you doing?"
I was extremely furious now. And then I started to feel serious pain in my head, and gashed knees. Where ever I had a efface or cut or scrape, scabbed over or not, it felt like fire. Worse than being slashed in the back of the knees.
"W-what? G-gin... Ichimaru... Gin... Come to Sissy. Please."
The silvered haired boy looked up to Aizen, and got one simple nod in return. He came over to me as I lifted up my arms and grunted from the pain. He went into them, and returned the hug.
"What are you doing?" I whispered in his ear.
"Helping Rangiku, Sissy." he whispered.
As long as he was saving someone from this guy.
The pain flamed up as I let out an ear piercing scream, letting go of my brother while doing so.
White stuff came from the tear ducts in my eyes, my ears, and all other effaces on my face.
I shoved my brother off, not wanting anything to happen to him.
"I don't want you to get hurt." I barley whispered to him, as a tear streaked down my face.
It was silence. Pure silence.
"Whats happening?" I yelled, after a while.
"Hollowfication. You were a wonderful first test experiment." Was the last thing Aizen said.
"
SISSY!" was the last thing I heard before passing out.