Its a mad world
god today was just incrediably awful.
it started awesome tho. like i went to gym zero hour and my and ashley demma were just having a fun time goofing off. then i got put on an awesome football team. i was psyched. Then after gym i met wit zack who told me jen was moving away. i immedialy felt a chill run down my spine. In my head i just kept thinking 'no no No No NO NO'!! Then i just went into denial. i was like no jens not moving. no shes not. nope nope nope. God of all ppl to move not jen. Then in first period i couldnt pay attention. i just felt numb. I couldnt stop thinking about it. You really know your having a bad day when u cant even fake a smile. It was just horrible. Then at lunch i couldnt eat. Hell i could barley talk. I even started crying in study hall. Pathetic i know. {how appropriate Green days good riddance : time of your life just came on the radio. how nice :`-(!!!!] anywayz..Then when i came home i had to babysit. And even THEY could tell sumtin was up. And i was trying to fake it the best i could. then i just came home and bawled for the whole day.
But all this crying wasnt completly all for jen. just things are feeling overwhelming and i just want to explode. but im sorry of all the ppl JEN. GOD NO! out of every1 theres 2 ppl who i would just die if they moved. and jens one of them. god. it sucks so bad. so so so bad.
then theres things that i overthink. like when ppl say you can always come to me or when ever u need to talk im there. i cant help but think they just say it to say it. and really have little or no intention of really helping.
but god lately it just seems like no1 knows me/understands me. it leaves me feeling very alone. It appears the only 1 that cares is katie. i know im not alone...but it feels like it and to me thats one of the worst feelings ever.
and i HATE feeling so empty and sad when you dont even know whats wrong. but u do know somethings wrong cuz these tears arnt falling for no reason. god. does any1 know me. does any1 care. does it even matter.
________MAD WORLD______ (michael andrews) [from donny darko]
"All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, Going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, No expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows
No tomorrow, No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
These dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad World, Mad World
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And they feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson
Look right through me, Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad World, Mad World"
"You and me
We used to be together
Every day together
Always
I really feel
Like I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe this could be the end"
~~~~no doubt~~~~
it started awesome tho. like i went to gym zero hour and my and ashley demma were just having a fun time goofing off. then i got put on an awesome football team. i was psyched. Then after gym i met wit zack who told me jen was moving away. i immedialy felt a chill run down my spine. In my head i just kept thinking 'no no No No NO NO'!! Then i just went into denial. i was like no jens not moving. no shes not. nope nope nope. God of all ppl to move not jen. Then in first period i couldnt pay attention. i just felt numb. I couldnt stop thinking about it. You really know your having a bad day when u cant even fake a smile. It was just horrible. Then at lunch i couldnt eat. Hell i could barley talk. I even started crying in study hall. Pathetic i know. {how appropriate Green days good riddance : time of your life just came on the radio. how nice :`-(!!!!] anywayz..Then when i came home i had to babysit. And even THEY could tell sumtin was up. And i was trying to fake it the best i could. then i just came home and bawled for the whole day.
But all this crying wasnt completly all for jen. just things are feeling overwhelming and i just want to explode. but im sorry of all the ppl JEN. GOD NO! out of every1 theres 2 ppl who i would just die if they moved. and jens one of them. god. it sucks so bad. so so so bad.
then theres things that i overthink. like when ppl say you can always come to me or when ever u need to talk im there. i cant help but think they just say it to say it. and really have little or no intention of really helping.
but god lately it just seems like no1 knows me/understands me. it leaves me feeling very alone. It appears the only 1 that cares is katie. i know im not alone...but it feels like it and to me thats one of the worst feelings ever.
and i HATE feeling so empty and sad when you dont even know whats wrong. but u do know somethings wrong cuz these tears arnt falling for no reason. god. does any1 know me. does any1 care. does it even matter.
________MAD WORLD______ (michael andrews) [from donny darko]
"All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, Going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, No expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrows
No tomorrow, No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
These dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad World, Mad World
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And they feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson
Look right through me, Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad World, Mad World"
"You and me
We used to be together
Every day together
Always
I really feel
Like I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe this could be the end"
~~~~no doubt~~~~