I need to get away from all of this
I've stopped trying. My parents caught me and my friends smoking yesterday. Who knows how they will act when they see my grades. I have realized I'm better off being alone because I dont think I want to bring anyone else down to the level I'm at. This way I wont be rejected anymore because there will be no one. Yea, I'll be lonely but I can live with that. I've done it before. I think I need to move far away where I can start over and be a different person because who I am doesn't seem to be working with people. I hate being like this. I hate feeling sorry for myself, feeling like I'm being selfish, and not being able to get close to anyone anymore all because of what happened with one person. What the fuck is wrong with me? I dont even care about anything anymore. I've stopped trying in school and I have totally blown off this girl who might be interested in me. I've been shitty to my parents who are letting me still live here and I've been a real dick to some of my friends. The worst thing is that Valentines day is on Saturday. If you didn't get around to commiting suicide on Christmas or New Years, BAM there's Valentines day for you. What a fuckin downer. I need some weed....