(no subject)
well today i got to skewl and i sooo fuckin tired and depressed i did not want to be there.. but who ever does? so yeah i talked to ppl and it did not make it any better i just wanted to run like wlak out of class are fuckin run!so i stuck around cuz i cant jsut run from my problem rie?! so yeah then i was talkin to ian and nora dn cassie and i was at the lowed point i fuckin started screamin on teh inside i wanted to just tell sum certain ppl to shut up and fuckin go away unless tehy say something to me positive! but didnt i sat there with tears in my eyes not making eye contact to any one but ian not intirely meaning to. then dylan ran up and wrapped his arms around me and for the first time in teh last few days i felt warm and loved. i dont no just a hug but well go dylan you are rad! and then i kinda sat there for a it and i new dylan and ian saw it in my eyes.. bad times and then we went to class.. and from there on i was in a better-ish mood i guess... so i went and had a okish time drawing on dylan..yeah my star is fuckin better and he nos it! then lunch i went with makenzie casey cassie kat and lucian to go have a schmoke! and i got on top of this boxx thing and it made me netertained. i dont no when im with them smoking they dont seem to cause any drama they just kick it and are fuckin awesome and nice.. even tho i hear lucian is a duche hes real nice to me. so yeah and then class i dont even want to get intoits not even bad or good jsut boring as fuck.. then after skewl i went with cassie back to my house and i found that i got a new trash bucket thing and its real big so i got in it and it rocked!!! i love that thing when i get a bigger room im gettin one for it so i can hide n shit when im depressed n sad or mad or yeah! and then shane called and i had left him this fuckin long ass soryish message for him saying that sure he was rite and i was wrong i dont want to fight that mroe drama then i need rite now so then he came over to talk riiite and then iu had this plan to scare him by juumping out of the trash can and then me and cassie had a test run and i actualy scared her it was the funniest thing!! then shes all hes here hes here so i jump out and say where?! wat a dumb fuck i am! so yeah then we ki8ck it for a bit and then we go to group and it was sooooo aweosme i didnt even think about anything bad! i hung out with ryan and curtis and tweet and sergio the whole time and it rocked! gawd is it bad that i have a HUGE crush on a gay guy... and luke....no last name i cant tell you its a secret! (lukes not gay i was just putting htat in there for the hell of it)so yeah ryan fuckin rocks soo hard with his hard core mascara job!! that i did i made a fuckin pretty and sergio looks good in my make up too its crazy! and apparently my lip gloss doesnt tasete good thanks to curtis damnit! yeh curtis is such a flrit and the thing is he addmits to it so yeah.. then we smoked and shit load of cigs and then we left.. dude it was the sweetest most adoreable thing so dylan calls me rite b4 i leave and i talk to him an raphie for like 20 mins and raphie raps for me adnits sooo rad and hen i talk to dylan and then my fone dies so he calls me back about 20 mins after that and says he were out side your house want to come out?!and my jaw drops and im like ummmm im not home and i felt like shit hey wlaked from raphies to come see me and i wasnt there so im all ummmmm i loove you dylan and hes like its ok i love you too and i felt soo asd but this is his pay back and he nos it too! and i had him make me a promise today that he would get his grades up cuz they fuckin blow he is failing almost al of his classes and they are sooo fuckin easy so i said that i wouldnt give his hat back until he got em up and he said ok so yeah he will get it back b4 that but you no its tempting well my back hurts and i dont no what else to write so ima go hink about my crazy fuckin emotional changing day damnit...