(no subject)
I am enjoying the attention of the French video games developer, and he seems to accept my reticent nature regarding "going out for coffee". I expressed how silly it probably seemed to him, my shyness about this when I've been such an active and enthusiastic writer, but he made no mention of it when he wrote to me a little more about his life and dreams.
I wish I could wholly rid myself of all my hang ups, but while my general outlook is positive and I have excitement about life again, I still have many deep-seated fears that are not so easy to dispel. I was quite distraught when I told my therapist about all of this, so frustrated with my limits and the things that no matter how much I want to I cannot control. Still the fact that I can try is a huge accomplishment, considering a couple of months ago I was seriously thinking that it was time to hang it up for good.
I have a picture in my mind of the type of person I have the capacity to be. It does not involve standing still, being coy, doing anything I don't want to do, or turning down any opportunity to experience more. I may not be close to that goal, but I am doing my damnedest to be ready to jump when I am.
I wish I could wholly rid myself of all my hang ups, but while my general outlook is positive and I have excitement about life again, I still have many deep-seated fears that are not so easy to dispel. I was quite distraught when I told my therapist about all of this, so frustrated with my limits and the things that no matter how much I want to I cannot control. Still the fact that I can try is a huge accomplishment, considering a couple of months ago I was seriously thinking that it was time to hang it up for good.
I have a picture in my mind of the type of person I have the capacity to be. It does not involve standing still, being coy, doing anything I don't want to do, or turning down any opportunity to experience more. I may not be close to that goal, but I am doing my damnedest to be ready to jump when I am.