(no subject)
These past couple of days I haven't really talked to anyone about what's going on or how I feel about it. I dunno... all I can say so far- for right now is that I really just wanna go home. I wanna sleep in my own bed. Wake up in my room. In my house.
My dad fucked up again... we lost our car. That means I've lost the comfort of knowing that if worse came to worse I could just sleep in my car. I miss having my family. I feel like I've lost it all. I know I havent but thats just how I feel about it. Ya know I thought that things were gonna be okay, even after we lost the house but its like it'l never happen. There is always something to happen to mess everything up.
I'm losing all hope. I think by now I've lost all hope. I keep trying to find things to look forward to but I don't believe in anything anymore. I dont even want to pray anymore cuz its not going to do anything. There's no God, who am I kidding. I wish I could go to sleep and never wake up. I'm at that point where I can't see the purpose in living.. when all there is, is loss. No gain. No luck. Just loss. I'm scared.
I want to be happy again. I miss being happy. I miss my mom. My brothers. My home. I miss my life.
I want my life back.