Since I have a redheaded girlfriend, here are some redhead jokes for you
"Every man should have a redhead once in his life.....twice if he survives ;-)"
Brunette after sex: "Oh that was great! Love you...wanna marry?" Blonde after sex: "Next!" Redhead after sex: "Better start chewing some VITAMINS, Jack
Q. What is the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
A: Redheads won't accept a 3 1/2 inch
Q: Why don't Redheads use plastic vibrators?
A: Because they are too frail for endurance
Q. What does a redhead, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A. Men always miss them
Q. What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A. Normal
Q: How many men does it take to please a redhead?
A: How many you got?
Q: What is the difference between sex with a blonde and sex with a redhead?
A: Blondes come with instructions. Redheads come with spring loaded legs. (This is terribly true, from first hand experience...)
Q: How do you know when you've had sex with a redhead?
A: If you are dehydrated, can't walk, and have blood running down your back, you've been with a redhead.
If you love a Redhead, set her free If she follows you everywhere you go, Pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, She's yours
Redheads are the sweetest most innocent girls.........when they are asleep.
A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on." She did and said "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!"
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his redheaded wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.
The next morning the man woke his redhead with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."
This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the poolman, and your brother."
An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying.
A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
"Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old redhead. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we make love. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make love. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love."
The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!"
So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"
Three Roommates: A Blonde, Brunette, And Redhead All Go Out On Dates One Night. When They Get Back In The Blonde Says, "you Know You've Been On A Good Date When Your Make-up Is All Smearred!" The Brunette Says, "no, No You Know You've Been On A Good Date When You Come Home And Your Hair Is All Messed Up." The Redhead Doesn't Say Anything She Just Reaches Up Under Her Skirt, Pulls Off Her Panties, And Throws Them Against The Wall, Where They Stick, And Says, "now That's A Good Date!!"
A young Redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible", says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"No, " she says, " I'm actually a Blonde."
"I thought so, the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."
Brunette after sex: "Oh that was great! Love you...wanna marry?" Blonde after sex: "Next!" Redhead after sex: "Better start chewing some VITAMINS, Jack
Q. What is the difference between a redhead and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: What is the difference between a redhead and a computer?
A: Redheads won't accept a 3 1/2 inch
Q: Why don't Redheads use plastic vibrators?
A: Because they are too frail for endurance
Q. What does a redhead, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
A. Men always miss them
Q. What do you call a Redhead with an attitude?
A. Normal
Q: How many men does it take to please a redhead?
A: How many you got?
Q: What is the difference between sex with a blonde and sex with a redhead?
A: Blondes come with instructions. Redheads come with spring loaded legs. (This is terribly true, from first hand experience...)
Q: How do you know when you've had sex with a redhead?
A: If you are dehydrated, can't walk, and have blood running down your back, you've been with a redhead.
If you love a Redhead, set her free If she follows you everywhere you go, Pitches a tent in your front lawn and puts your new girlfriend in the hospital, She's yours
Redheads are the sweetest most innocent girls.........when they are asleep.
A young man marrying a redhead asked his father for some marital advice. The father said, "Just remind her who wears the pants in your family." The evening arrived, the new husband tossed his pants to his bride and said, "Here put these on." She did and said "I don't fit into these." "That's right!" he said, "and don't you forget who wears the pants in this family!"
With that she flipped him her panties and said, "Try these on." He looked at them and said, "I can't get into your panties!" She said, "That's right - and you won't until your attitude changes!"
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his redheaded wife and pinched her on her butt and said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle." While this was on the edge of intolerable, she thought herself better and replied with silence.
The next morning the man woke his redhead with a pinch on the breast and said, "You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."
This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said, "You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the poolman, and your brother."
An old man of ninety was sitting on a park bench crying.
A policeman noticed this and asked him why he was crying.
"Well," says the old fellow, "I just got married to a twenty-five year old redhead. Every morning she makes me a wonderful breakfast and then we make love. In the afternoon she makes me a wonderful lunch and then we make love. At dinner time she makes me a wonderful supper and then we make love."
The policeman looks at the old man and says, "You shouldn't be crying! You should be the happiest man in the world!"
So the old man says, "I know! I'm crying because I don't remember where I live!"
Three Roommates: A Blonde, Brunette, And Redhead All Go Out On Dates One Night. When They Get Back In The Blonde Says, "you Know You've Been On A Good Date When Your Make-up Is All Smearred!" The Brunette Says, "no, No You Know You've Been On A Good Date When You Come Home And Your Hair Is All Messed Up." The Redhead Doesn't Say Anything She Just Reaches Up Under Her Skirt, Pulls Off Her Panties, And Throws Them Against The Wall, Where They Stick, And Says, "now That's A Good Date!!"
A young Redhead goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it.
"Impossible", says the doctor. "Show me."
She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams.
The doctor says, "You're not really a redhead, are you?"
"No, " she says, " I'm actually a Blonde."
"I thought so, the doctor says. "Your finger is broken."