"Take this one thing with you to home and to work and to school and to mom and to dad..."
Every time I feel abandoned
Every time I feel worthless
Every time things go to hell,
I always manage to get over it eventually.
And everything eventually works out for the best.
I've got faith that this time will be no different.
Why am I always so hard on myself? I have no fucking idea.
Everyone has setbacks.
I have to learn to live with that, and stop letting my mistakes define me.
Maybe the heartbreak of last April has stayed with me all this time
Maybe that's just an excuse.
Whatever the case is,
I've spent the last year pretending,
And I've really screwed up with a lot of people.
But I finally realize both those facts, and I'm determined to spend this summer making it up to whoever will give me the chance.
I'm thankful to have old friends back.
I'm excited to be going to school.
I'm proud to have even the smallest control over my problems.
I'm relieved to finally understand the importance of letting go.
I'm happy to be getting back to my '05 way of life.
Tonight, I discovered that four of the five most important people to me
Will most likely be out of my life by September.
And I'm honestly taking it pretty well.
Which I think is a testament to my current state of mind.
The most important things to me at this point
Are to have a place to call home, and knowing that there's even one person out there who believes in me and loves me
And I'm lucky enough to have both of those things.
Everything else,
Really just smaller pieces of the big picture.
Tomorrow morning, I'll probably wake up thinking everything sucks
But tonight, I feel perfect.
And I can live with that.
"...There are points where you can stop the world,
Remember that, friends, and don't be sad."