(no subject)
wiifit body test
8/14 - 32.42 BMI/ 206.6 lbs. Up 0.7 lbs from yesterday. Damn you bowl of granola.
Day 1: Introduce Yourself
Day 2: Your first love, in great detail.
Day 3: Your parents, in great detail.
Day 4: What you ate today, in great detail.
Day 5: Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 6: Your day, in great detail
Day 7: Your best friend, in great detail
Day 8: A moment, in great detail.
Day 9: Your beliefs, in great detail.
Day 10: What you wore today, in great detail.
Day 11: Your siblings in great detail
Day 12: What's in your bag, in great detail
Day 13: This week, in great detail.
Day 14: What you wore today, in great detail.
Day 15: Your dreams, in great detail.
Day 16: Your first kiss, in great detail.
Day 17: Your favorite memory, in great detail.
Day 18: Your favorite birthday, in great detail.
Day 19: Something you regret, in great detail.
Day 20: This month, in great detail.
Day 21: Another moment, in great detail.
Day 22: Something that upsets you, in great detail.
Day 23: Something that makes you feel better, in great detail.
Day 24: Something that makes you cry, in great detail.
Day 25: A first, in great detail.
Day 26: Your fears, in great detail.
Day 27: Your favorite place, in great detail.
Day 28: Something that you miss, in great detail.
Day 29: Your aspirations, in great detail.
Day 30: One last moment, in great detail.
My name is Ellen Rae Morton. I am currently 25. I live in Albuquerque, New Mexico but was born and raised in Salem, Oregon. I have an amazing boyfriend, Alan and we have the cutest dog, Penelope. I'm a server at an Italian restaurant. I've only ever worked in the food industry. I am currently going to school to get my bachelors in Psychology.
Okay the deets.
I was born on November 22nd in 1984. It was Thanksgiving day at my grandma's house in Albany, Or. My parents were married a year after I was born on my birthday. It was the second marriage for both of them. My mom had one daughter from her first marriage and my dad had two sons and one daughter. It was a full house. I don't really remember much about growing up with all my brothers and sisters. My parents separated when I was 7. After that it was just my mom, my sister and me. My other three siblings went and lived with their mother. As a kid I didn't really have much of an opinion about things. I felt the way I felt abut things because I felt like that was what I was supposed to feel. I don't remember my parents divorce having that much of an effect on me. But I remember being in counseling and telling me counselor how mad I was at my dad. When I look back on it as an adult it makes me feel awful. My dad could only have supervised visits with me and it was my fault. But I was young and I had no idea what I was doing.
When I was in middle school, 7th or 8th grade, my mom met her third husband. His name was James and he ruined my life. I hated him then and I hate him now. He turned my mother against me and made my life hell. Those three or four years I spent living with him were the worst of my life. I was extremely depressed and tried to kill myself more than once. The summer between my freshman and sophomore year of high school we moved to Albuquerque. My mom, James, my sister Lydia and I. My dad offered for me to move in with him and stay in Salem. I honestly don't remember why I didn't. I think it was easier for me to do what my mom wanted than fight her. Spring break of my sophomore year I visited Oregon and my dad and I decided I was going to move back to Oregon and live with him. I was still underage so it was a custody battle. Telling a child to choose a parent is the worst. And even though I knew I wanted to be in Oregon and I was absolutely miserable with my mom, I still felt awful leaving my mom. The next following months were even worse than the previous. At this point James started drinking heavily and was teetering on the brink of insanity, literally. He was a war vet, had some serious under lying issues and it was soon to be known that he was a fucked up individual.
So the summer before my junior year I moved back to Salem. My dad had just gotten married to Kelley. So it was my dad, his new wife Kelley, her son Tyler and me. As soon as school started I discovered that my depression issues weren't linked to my mom and James at all. I was still depressed 80% of the time. I thought about dying every single day. It was my one breath of fresh air. Thinking about not being alive was the one thing that made me happy. My dad is the one reason I'm still alive. Kelley and I were complete opposites and didn't get along at all. She was incredibly unpopular in high school, studied all the time and cared about grades. I wasn't extremely popular but I had a group of friends that I loved to hang out with. And I didn't give two fucks about high school. I hated being in high school. Even at this point in life I would never go back. Kelley thought I was spoiled and undeserving of anything. She also had never dealt with a teenager before. Tyler is seven years younger than I am so he was still in grade school when I was in high school. She was just clueless.
December of 2002 I graduated from high school. I started working full time at a pizza joint in town and worked there for two years. Figaro's is where I met Jesse, the guy I lost my virginity to and my first real relationship. June of 2003 I moved into an apartment with this girl I went to high school with. All I did was party and work. Lots of drinking. I never got into drugs even though the only thing Jesse ever did was smoke weed. Then at Figaro's I met Matt. Jesse and I broke up after a year or so of dating and I started dating Matt. Matt was also a stoner. He was in the army, 3 or 4 years older than me [I was 19 at the time] and I just thought he was soo cool. 3 or 4 months of us dating, Matt got deployed. He was stationed in El Paso for a few months before he actually left. That is what made me choose to move back to Albuquerque. I really liked being with Matt. He liked to do things, take weekend trips, watch movies, go out to eat, just things. But once he left the only thing we ever did was fight. He would get insanely jealous of everything. If he called me and I was hanging out with people he would flip out, saying I wasn't his first priority. Like he expected me to just sit at home and wait for his call. At the time I was really good friends with Alli and Christina. They lived together and were both dating someone. Matt would get pissed if I was hanging out with them and their boyfriends were there. Because they were dudes. So fucking stupid. Once he finally went overseas and I didn't see him things went down hill REAL fast. We broke up after two or three months of his deployment. He is my only ex I have absolutely zero contact with.
A few months after that I decided I was going to move to Portland to go to school. I was going to be a sign language interpreter. Exactly 30 days before I moved I met Nick. We hung out one night, hung out a few nights later, then hung out every single day until I left. We were going to stay friends and hang out when I visited and that was it. But then he visited me in Portland and I fell in love. I was miserable in Portland. I only lived there a few months and couldn't handle it after that. Nick probably had more to do with it than I would like to admit. The following 3 years were a mixture of the best and worst times in my life. Nick never really loved me, never really wanted to be with me. But I was there and I was so available and pathetic. He brought out the worst in me. I wanted him to love me so bad that I held on as tight as I could which just pushed him away even more. I was absolutely obsessed with him. It was awful. To this day I would eternal sunshine those three years in a heartbeat.
After Nick I decided I was destined to be alone forever. I was going to be that chubby 35 year old who everyone loves because she's so funny but only dates assholes and falls in love too fast and is single until she meets a man who is on his third wife and ready to realize that love is more than being attracted to someone. I would tell people all the time that I wasn't going to be someone's first wife.
Last summer [2009] I decided I finally wanted to go back to school. I finally figured out what I wanted and I was going to make it happen! Then in November I met Alan. We met online and it was great from day one. I never felt the obsession I felt in the past. It just always felt comfortable, like it just was supposed to be that easy and normal. The first month or so was really hard for me. It was hard to let myself go and be with someone again. But I knew it was going to be worth it. And so far it has been. Sometimes I forget that we're in a healthy relationship and I get caught up in my own head. I forget I don't need him to be helpless with out me to know he loves me. I forget that independence in a relationship shows strength and not doom.
I still suffer from pretty bad depression sometimes. It's never as intense as it was in high school. And I can usually get my head out of it, but sometimes I feel like I can't breathe and I'll never breathe again. I think once school starts I'm going to talk to someone about it. I want this so bad, I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it up for myself.
This is really so long. I can't believe I wrote all of that. But that's me. If you have any questions I will tell you anything and everything.
I feel kind of exhausted now.
8/14 - 32.42 BMI/ 206.6 lbs. Up 0.7 lbs from yesterday. Damn you bowl of granola.
Day 1: Introduce Yourself
Day 2: Your first love, in great detail.
Day 3: Your parents, in great detail.
Day 4: What you ate today, in great detail.
Day 5: Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 6: Your day, in great detail
Day 7: Your best friend, in great detail
Day 8: A moment, in great detail.
Day 9: Your beliefs, in great detail.
Day 10: What you wore today, in great detail.
Day 11: Your siblings in great detail
Day 12: What's in your bag, in great detail
Day 13: This week, in great detail.
Day 14: What you wore today, in great detail.
Day 15: Your dreams, in great detail.
Day 16: Your first kiss, in great detail.
Day 17: Your favorite memory, in great detail.
Day 18: Your favorite birthday, in great detail.
Day 19: Something you regret, in great detail.
Day 20: This month, in great detail.
Day 21: Another moment, in great detail.
Day 22: Something that upsets you, in great detail.
Day 23: Something that makes you feel better, in great detail.
Day 24: Something that makes you cry, in great detail.
Day 25: A first, in great detail.
Day 26: Your fears, in great detail.
Day 27: Your favorite place, in great detail.
Day 28: Something that you miss, in great detail.
Day 29: Your aspirations, in great detail.
Day 30: One last moment, in great detail.
My name is Ellen Rae Morton. I am currently 25. I live in Albuquerque, New Mexico but was born and raised in Salem, Oregon. I have an amazing boyfriend, Alan and we have the cutest dog, Penelope. I'm a server at an Italian restaurant. I've only ever worked in the food industry. I am currently going to school to get my bachelors in Psychology.
Okay the deets.
I was born on November 22nd in 1984. It was Thanksgiving day at my grandma's house in Albany, Or. My parents were married a year after I was born on my birthday. It was the second marriage for both of them. My mom had one daughter from her first marriage and my dad had two sons and one daughter. It was a full house. I don't really remember much about growing up with all my brothers and sisters. My parents separated when I was 7. After that it was just my mom, my sister and me. My other three siblings went and lived with their mother. As a kid I didn't really have much of an opinion about things. I felt the way I felt abut things because I felt like that was what I was supposed to feel. I don't remember my parents divorce having that much of an effect on me. But I remember being in counseling and telling me counselor how mad I was at my dad. When I look back on it as an adult it makes me feel awful. My dad could only have supervised visits with me and it was my fault. But I was young and I had no idea what I was doing.
When I was in middle school, 7th or 8th grade, my mom met her third husband. His name was James and he ruined my life. I hated him then and I hate him now. He turned my mother against me and made my life hell. Those three or four years I spent living with him were the worst of my life. I was extremely depressed and tried to kill myself more than once. The summer between my freshman and sophomore year of high school we moved to Albuquerque. My mom, James, my sister Lydia and I. My dad offered for me to move in with him and stay in Salem. I honestly don't remember why I didn't. I think it was easier for me to do what my mom wanted than fight her. Spring break of my sophomore year I visited Oregon and my dad and I decided I was going to move back to Oregon and live with him. I was still underage so it was a custody battle. Telling a child to choose a parent is the worst. And even though I knew I wanted to be in Oregon and I was absolutely miserable with my mom, I still felt awful leaving my mom. The next following months were even worse than the previous. At this point James started drinking heavily and was teetering on the brink of insanity, literally. He was a war vet, had some serious under lying issues and it was soon to be known that he was a fucked up individual.
So the summer before my junior year I moved back to Salem. My dad had just gotten married to Kelley. So it was my dad, his new wife Kelley, her son Tyler and me. As soon as school started I discovered that my depression issues weren't linked to my mom and James at all. I was still depressed 80% of the time. I thought about dying every single day. It was my one breath of fresh air. Thinking about not being alive was the one thing that made me happy. My dad is the one reason I'm still alive. Kelley and I were complete opposites and didn't get along at all. She was incredibly unpopular in high school, studied all the time and cared about grades. I wasn't extremely popular but I had a group of friends that I loved to hang out with. And I didn't give two fucks about high school. I hated being in high school. Even at this point in life I would never go back. Kelley thought I was spoiled and undeserving of anything. She also had never dealt with a teenager before. Tyler is seven years younger than I am so he was still in grade school when I was in high school. She was just clueless.
December of 2002 I graduated from high school. I started working full time at a pizza joint in town and worked there for two years. Figaro's is where I met Jesse, the guy I lost my virginity to and my first real relationship. June of 2003 I moved into an apartment with this girl I went to high school with. All I did was party and work. Lots of drinking. I never got into drugs even though the only thing Jesse ever did was smoke weed. Then at Figaro's I met Matt. Jesse and I broke up after a year or so of dating and I started dating Matt. Matt was also a stoner. He was in the army, 3 or 4 years older than me [I was 19 at the time] and I just thought he was soo cool. 3 or 4 months of us dating, Matt got deployed. He was stationed in El Paso for a few months before he actually left. That is what made me choose to move back to Albuquerque. I really liked being with Matt. He liked to do things, take weekend trips, watch movies, go out to eat, just things. But once he left the only thing we ever did was fight. He would get insanely jealous of everything. If he called me and I was hanging out with people he would flip out, saying I wasn't his first priority. Like he expected me to just sit at home and wait for his call. At the time I was really good friends with Alli and Christina. They lived together and were both dating someone. Matt would get pissed if I was hanging out with them and their boyfriends were there. Because they were dudes. So fucking stupid. Once he finally went overseas and I didn't see him things went down hill REAL fast. We broke up after two or three months of his deployment. He is my only ex I have absolutely zero contact with.
A few months after that I decided I was going to move to Portland to go to school. I was going to be a sign language interpreter. Exactly 30 days before I moved I met Nick. We hung out one night, hung out a few nights later, then hung out every single day until I left. We were going to stay friends and hang out when I visited and that was it. But then he visited me in Portland and I fell in love. I was miserable in Portland. I only lived there a few months and couldn't handle it after that. Nick probably had more to do with it than I would like to admit. The following 3 years were a mixture of the best and worst times in my life. Nick never really loved me, never really wanted to be with me. But I was there and I was so available and pathetic. He brought out the worst in me. I wanted him to love me so bad that I held on as tight as I could which just pushed him away even more. I was absolutely obsessed with him. It was awful. To this day I would eternal sunshine those three years in a heartbeat.
After Nick I decided I was destined to be alone forever. I was going to be that chubby 35 year old who everyone loves because she's so funny but only dates assholes and falls in love too fast and is single until she meets a man who is on his third wife and ready to realize that love is more than being attracted to someone. I would tell people all the time that I wasn't going to be someone's first wife.
Last summer [2009] I decided I finally wanted to go back to school. I finally figured out what I wanted and I was going to make it happen! Then in November I met Alan. We met online and it was great from day one. I never felt the obsession I felt in the past. It just always felt comfortable, like it just was supposed to be that easy and normal. The first month or so was really hard for me. It was hard to let myself go and be with someone again. But I knew it was going to be worth it. And so far it has been. Sometimes I forget that we're in a healthy relationship and I get caught up in my own head. I forget I don't need him to be helpless with out me to know he loves me. I forget that independence in a relationship shows strength and not doom.
I still suffer from pretty bad depression sometimes. It's never as intense as it was in high school. And I can usually get my head out of it, but sometimes I feel like I can't breathe and I'll never breathe again. I think once school starts I'm going to talk to someone about it. I want this so bad, I'm afraid I'm going to fuck it up for myself.
This is really so long. I can't believe I wrote all of that. But that's me. If you have any questions I will tell you anything and everything.
I feel kind of exhausted now.