Fourty two.
Been quite a while since I've ventured into the livejournal. This is due to the fact that I've had very little living to speak of. Alas.
The good news:
Samus. Samus Aran. My kitty. A stray that I took in a few weeks ago. She is the most affectionate cat I've ever encountered. She really has come just when I needed it. Having something to love, to care for, to nurture is so refreshing. Something that trusts me, something that depends on me. You can't be all talk to something that does not speak (barring the most human-like meows I've ever heard).
The bad:
I am viewed with utter contempt by some now and with deep worry by others now. Grant told my mother some choice facts the other night (which he was right in doing) and my mom was on the phone with me for an hour bawling and audibly upset. The cracking in her voice was like nothing I've ever heard out of her mouth before. I was paralyzed. Such worry, such love. I forget that I am someone's child, someone's brother. I had forgotten that my life was of any impact to anyone. This time in my life is very hard though, I simply do not have anyone that I can rely on.
Ex: 1. Mike doesn't seem to consider me a friend at the moment, 2. I am having a very hard time trusting people not to hurt me right now. I'm a sideman in everyone's life currently and I can't put more importance on people than that they put on me in theirs just now, AND LASTLY 3. I'm always stuck in this damn apartment for various reasons. I feel like a 3rd/5th wheel at so many situations for some reason nowadays.
Luckily if I put a stop to #3 then I'm fine. I think #1 is temporary and #2 is one of those that comes and goes based on various elements.
The fact is that since I moved to Athens my life has delved MORE into an existance of unmitigated stupidity and I can't takes it no more. Solution? I'm going home to see my mama. I'm still kinda sick and damn if I don't just need someone to take care of me. I love my momar and papar, I love my Grant, I love my Sammy (kitty), and I love all of you. Goodnight errrrbody. Hopefully I'll have some pictures of Sammy up here in the next few days. Prepare for envy ladies and gentlemen.
The good news:
Samus. Samus Aran. My kitty. A stray that I took in a few weeks ago. She is the most affectionate cat I've ever encountered. She really has come just when I needed it. Having something to love, to care for, to nurture is so refreshing. Something that trusts me, something that depends on me. You can't be all talk to something that does not speak (barring the most human-like meows I've ever heard).
The bad:
I am viewed with utter contempt by some now and with deep worry by others now. Grant told my mother some choice facts the other night (which he was right in doing) and my mom was on the phone with me for an hour bawling and audibly upset. The cracking in her voice was like nothing I've ever heard out of her mouth before. I was paralyzed. Such worry, such love. I forget that I am someone's child, someone's brother. I had forgotten that my life was of any impact to anyone. This time in my life is very hard though, I simply do not have anyone that I can rely on.
Ex: 1. Mike doesn't seem to consider me a friend at the moment, 2. I am having a very hard time trusting people not to hurt me right now. I'm a sideman in everyone's life currently and I can't put more importance on people than that they put on me in theirs just now, AND LASTLY 3. I'm always stuck in this damn apartment for various reasons. I feel like a 3rd/5th wheel at so many situations for some reason nowadays.
Luckily if I put a stop to #3 then I'm fine. I think #1 is temporary and #2 is one of those that comes and goes based on various elements.
The fact is that since I moved to Athens my life has delved MORE into an existance of unmitigated stupidity and I can't takes it no more. Solution? I'm going home to see my mama. I'm still kinda sick and damn if I don't just need someone to take care of me. I love my momar and papar, I love my Grant, I love my Sammy (kitty), and I love all of you. Goodnight errrrbody. Hopefully I'll have some pictures of Sammy up here in the next few days. Prepare for envy ladies and gentlemen.