YAPRO Cup in Altamonte Springs, February 9th, 2007
Despite the war of words that has gone on in the past week I will still look at this show objectively and give my honest opinion on it, no matter who gets upset by what I say.
The main thing I have to say is, tonight I am ashamed to be a Florida indy wrestling fan.
NOTE: Please read ALL of this extremely long review before you form any opinions about the sure to be controversial comments I had for the show and especially how it was FALSELY advertised.
Written Before The Show
I feel privileged that so much attention has been paid towards me for the past week. With all the mentions of my name I'm honored I'm the object of obsession by so many. Hell, when someone decides to spend their time and money and register an inflammatory website address that links to your Livejournal page (and just last night, it became a site where it's a copy and paste job of things I kept archived from when I blogged on an Angelfire page; a lot of those opinions I don't have anymore, especially the positive comments on Britney Spears! The POINT of doing that, though, hasn't been found by me yet), you should feel providential that an adult feels so strongly about you that they would pull something this immature in an attempt to make you look "bad."
Honestly, me giving some logical criticism (which I know at least several people agree with) as to why the show's totally nonsensical in terms of getting the average Joe and Jane to show up (I really hope they didn't put up flyers solely advertising the YAPRO Cup, as though they'd assume people know from the collective unconsciousness what that is; if Yapo assumed everyone would know him… even I don't have that big of an ego!) and having them enjoy or even understand the whole feud between something as mundane and juvenile as tiffs between pro wrestling messageboards; it's boggled my mind how they ostensibly can't handle ANY kind of criticism, or they're bullies who think it's ok and in fact perfectly logical to treat me like shit … yeah ok the draw of it being messageboard vs. messageboard actually got some people to attend their first indy in months after they used to attend shows often "back in the day" but that says more about their lameness in giving up on the scene for whatever reasons than the show being a "good draw". How people could get so excited about this or act like *everyone* should be as excited for their masturbatory fantasy coming to life as they are and then acting like 8 year olds when someone has the backbone to admit that they #aren't# excited about it… sad, just sad.
With that (and all I said in the past week) aside, I still came to the show hoping for the best, such as:
• Good matches
• A crowd that doesn't piss me off TOO much
• No one deciding to act like they're the cock of the walk and starting shit with me when I made it clear before that I wasn't looking to start anything (you know, "Don’t start no shit there will be no shit")
My anger will be the strongest, though, if AWF Richard Merritt decides to fold the promotion after their show this upcoming Thursday in Auburndale mainly because of the repugnant individual known as Mister Saint Laurent. Richard allows Devin Dalton to use the promotion's name for his last show before going off into the armed forces, and because he needs help he brings in some other people, including MSL. Now that's all well and good, but of course that joke of a human being known as MSL decides to bury the AWF name and says that "anyone working for them should be blackballed from pro wrestling" despite the fact that he himself is working this show, his buddy Chasyn Rance has wrestled for the AWF before and later on in the interview where he made that ridiculous comment, he praised many wrestlers who happen to wrestle for the AWF. What a great promoter HE is! C'mon now, his "anyone working for them should be blackballed from pro wrestling" line is just another case of his pathetic trolling done to puff up his extremely low self-esteem (hell, can't his trolling even make any LOGICAL SENSE anymore?) and a lame attempt to make himself look "cool" to a bunch of equally lame disciples. Of course, Richard happened to fall for it and if he decides he should pack up his fed and not have another show after the 15th… many people should never forgive the embarrassment and laughingstock of this state's indy scene known as Mister Saint Laurent for his ignorant and immature actions. I REALLY want the AWF to stay around if at all possible as it would be another crippling blow to this state's scene if an additional "big" fed would cease to exist. Don't listen to that troll, Richard Merritt.
What a ridiculous show this is on paper, with angles and matches being set up that only a few will even understand without a lot of explaining being done to the regular laypeople there (and even then they may crap on it). I mean, the storyline to Erick Stevens vs. MSL being that Stevens is going to "get revenge" and "defend my honor" (I'm paraphrasing here, but I got the gist of it) against the mean evil bully MSL… I'm flattered that a few people would want to include me and use my name in a pro wrestling angle (and even without my endorsement of them using my name at that!) but I don't see how a wrestler "defending my honor" would help draw people to this show or when it comes out on DVD give a bunch of random fans, smart mark or not, the desire to check out this event. So of course they decide to invoke my name in ANOTHER match (Chris Nelson vs. Rip Malibu, where if Rip wins, MSL won't make fun of me ever again and if Nelson wins, David Shirt and JP Gilbert get to post on WG's board once again… and I doubt I need to explain to everyone how ridiculous THIS stipulation is or how any random fan is supposed to give two shits about it or how it could possibly get them to cheer one person or boo another just so they can see two little shithead immature obnoxious pathetic embarrassments become cancers once again on a messageboard or MSL being forced to not talk about someone when you know he'll end up breaking it anyway somewhere along the line) and this becomes more and more of a farce of a wrestling show and a model of how you should NOT promote an event that would appeal to all or even the minority of people who attend indy shows. I mean, me and what I'm about being the story behind TWO matches? What a joke. This show does a lot to "expose the business" and make pro wrestling look like a complete circus. WG "breaking kayfabe" by acting like he wanted Rip Malibu's final match to be a "friendly affair" but instead since it will be against Chris Nelson so it will be a "bruising affair"… I tell you, if this is how pro wrestling is going to be in the future, then consider me not being a fan of pro wrestling anymore.
With that said, I'm going to remain unbiased and comment on all of the matches fairly, even the one involving Mister Saint Laurent himself.
Written After The Show
I didn't know what to expect when I attended this show. After all, a lot of people who would also be there happen to despise moi in various degrees and I know they would rather have me not be there. Of course, I know there are people who despise me that I don't know about or even some of those who act like they're my buddy when they really laugh at me behind my back but that's fine. That's real life.
I'll give this long spiel right away, as it has to be said. I apologize for the foul language I will be using the rest of the review, but in this case I feel it's an acceptable thing to do. The entire build of the show was messageboard vs. messageboard, right? Well, imagine my shock when it was obvious from watching this show that the messageboard feud was a bullshit bait and switch tactic. That's right, THE ENTIRE FEUD, WHICH WAS THE ONLY BUILD TO THE SHOW, WAS NOT MENTIONED AT ALL DURING THE SHOW. Let me say it again so that it registers… THE ENTIRE FEUD, WHICH WAS THE ONLY BUILD TO THE SHOW, WAS NOT MENTIONED AT ALL DURING THE SHOW. There were only a few MSL'ers in attendance and about two or three people solidly behind the Florida Indies guys. Otherwise it was a regular show with a tournament. There were no mention of Erick Stevens "getting revenge for Blair Russell", no mention of ANY of the FUCKING STORYLINES ADVERTISED FOR THE PAST WEEK on those two uber-niche wrestling boards. What was the Goddamn point then of all that bullshit about MikeWG paying Erick Stevens to be on his team, about Chris Nelson becoming "serious" and squashing the young upstart Rip Malibu in Rip's last match (and possibly Chris's last too), about the feud between competing game systems, and especially the burying of my name just because I rightly said that the messageboard feud as the storyline for the show was bullshit? If they were never going to go through with the idea at the show in the first place, then why in the motherfuck was it ever done? Oh that's right, because some people want to make themselves seem important and give off the impression that they actually mean jack shit in the wrestling world, when in actuality they don't. Instead of actually going out on the street and advertising by putting up posters in local businesses or doing other things to help draw the biggest possible crowd for their friend Devin Dalton, they spend the entire past week making themselves look awesome for, what, a few dozen people now (at best) and picking on poor innocent people who have nothing to do with the messageboard feud in the first place… and best of all the entire feud was done just to jack each other off and get pleasure from playing "important" wrestling characters, and you took all the attention away from Devin Dalton and thus you only drew 73 people (according to Ron Niemi's count; that sounds about accurate). What was the entire fucking point of that messageboard feud if it was never going to be an actual part of the show at all? I'd love to hear a good answer, but I doubt I will get one that will pass muster with me. Hell, even the feud MSL had going with Richard Merritt over only God knows what appears to be a huge fucking sham which accomplished NOTHING AT ALL, which is the exact phrase to use for this night. All the bullshit on those shitty messageboards accomplished absolutely NOTHING AT ALL for this tournament for a meaningless trophy. Why all this shit was done instead of having a normal wrestling show where Devin wrestled in the main event and got the win or whatever… again, I would just *love* to hear a logical explanation as to why people decided to put themselves over for the past week and take all the attention away from Devin Dalton. A few people REALLY should be ashamed of themselves for this entire fiasco, especially that sub-human Mister Saint Laurent, who you know had to be the brainchild behind all of this hollow crap. Look, I came *very* close to not attending this event due to all the crap and I know quite a few people at the show tonight weren't exactly looking forward to it too.
Once I realized that the past week was a complete sham and the biggest waste of time I've ever engaged myself in, I felt completely embarrassed to call myself a Florida indy wrestling fan and I was appalled at how most of the messageboarders spent the majority of the time with their thumbs up their asses, not seeming to care about the event at all… thus, I am going to be even less detailed with my match recaps than I usually am; my mood was pretty much ruined for this show as soon as I figured out the situation was a mind-boggingly bold bait and switch bullshit tactic. Thus, what I thought would be impossible was accomplished… I totally did not enjoy a show put together for a great cause such as this. Congratulations, assholes. Note that I am not blaming ANY of the wrestlers for what went down aside from that repugnant human being who was the main instigator and was more concerned with finding stuff I wrote a few years ago than doing his damnest to promote this event and get the highest possible attendance for this event… I especially will have no sympathy for Mister Saint Laurent in the future no matter what serious problems he may have to deal with.
But, I've said more than enough and I know everyone wants to hear my thoughts on the actual event, so here we go…
The event started around 8:10 instead of 7:30 as there was heavy traffic in the area (which was true). Thankfully, the members of the MSLU that actually bothered to come to the show did not pay any attention to me, which was exactly how I wanted it. Some people thought that I wasn't being too friendly with them… well, after I discovered the lack of messageboard feud going on, I realized that my earlier curtness was the right thing for me to do. Most interestingly, one person decided to come up to me and wanted to shake my hand. I said, "Why should I do that after how you've acted in the past week?", which was to insinuate that I hung out with sheepfuckers or WAS a sheepfucker, make other similar insulting comments about me, and worked with Photoshop to create several pictures of me which suggested, among other things, that I was glad Anna Nicole Smith died and believed her to be a "rich cunt" (I never thought that about Anna Nicole and I never said any disparaging remarks about her in the past, as one person would like to claim)… again, why should I shake his hand? I don't exactly see the "humor" in the situation that he must see.
I'll say that for the first part of the show there was hardly any heat for the matches, which I figured would happen, although the fact that the messageboard people didn't do a lot of cheering for the guys that they allegedly wanted to see win so badly just made me shake my head and made me glad most of them rarely go to shows anymore if they want to sit on their hands and do stupid shit like throw streamers in the ring.
I do have to say, though, that there was a rather interesting mix of songs played before the show. It was mainly 70's stuff I liked (such as the original version of "Smokin' In The Boys Room" by Brownsville Station) but also some 80's, such as the full almost 6 minute version of the Escape Club's "Wild Wild West" (hey, don't laugh).
We start off with The Lifeguards coming out (w/ Amy Vitale) and saying that the Heartbreak Express weren't there, so they were going to challenge anyone to a match. Out came Chris Nelson and then Rip Malibu, and that was the match for later in the show, although it was not for The Lifeguards's AWF Tag Team Titles. As always, Nelson was humorous on the mic. The funniest thing was when he made several insulting comments about a quartet of ladies who sat close to me and appeared to be rather young in age. I could nitpick those ladies but I won't, as they were obviously friends of one or two of the wrestlers, so I don't want to hate like that, and plus they actually did some cheering for the matches.
1. Erick Stevens defeated Mister Saint Laurent (w/ Ron Niemi). I'm sure everyone wants to know what I thought of this contest. Hell, I'm sure more than one of you scrolled down until you saw this heading as soon as you opened this page just so you could see first what I said about MSL or how I rated the match. Despite what has gone on in the past and what has happened recently, I still will rate this match fairly without any biases. I won't be like, "Oh, I wish Erick would've kicked MSL full force in the kidneys about 30 or 40 times in a row" or "Man, Stevens needed to drop him on his head a few times". I am not petty like that and I know Erick is professional beyond all reproach. Besides, I tried to give him 100 bucks to shoot on him but it didn't work…
Just kidding with the last sentence!
Thankfully MSL never acknowledged my presence or said anything about me, which was rather shocking. The only thing was that during this 3:30 match, they started to brawl by me, but that's no big deal. This ended up being a match that, to be kind, I'm glad only went 3 a half minutes. Erick won out of nowhere with the lariat.
2. Jerrelle Clark defeated Devin Dalton. The storyline behind this match that was set up for the entire week but of course was never followed through upon… Jerrelle Clark is a fan of the Playstation 3 and doesn't care for the Wii while Devin loves his Wii and hates the PS3. No, honestly, THAT is the honest to goodness storyline behind this match. Pardon me for acting like The Masked Maniac here (as I have been for most of the review), but JESUS SHITFUCKING CHRIST HAVING A GODDAMN STORYLINE ON A SHOW INVOLVING FUCKING VIDEOGAME SYSTEMS IS A TOTAL MOCKERY OF PRO WRESTLING AND ONLY SERVES TO MAKE THE SHOW MORE OF A TRAVESTY THAN IT ALREADY IS! I still can't believe that people are supposed to care that one person hates a videogame system. Talk about "nerd shit" that I could give two rat's tails about. My God I hope Mister Saint Laurent never promotes another wrestling show again in his entire life. As for the match itself… it was a fine affair where things went back and forth before Jerrelle won with a rollup finisher. Afterwards, as this was Devin's last match before he heads off to the Marines, he received a standing ovation.
3. Chasyn Rance (w/ Ron Niemi) defeated Nooie Lee. I am shocked that a storyline behind this match isn't, say, Nooie hating matzo ball soup or Chasyn detesting Hsinchu. That's about as "clever" as the other storylines you have set up (but never resolved) for this event. In another fine bout, Chasyn picked up the victory. The most memorable moment was early on when by accident the opening of Leon's entrance music played, distracting both guys in the ring. Oh Fan in the Corner! Also, note that for some reason you had the referees allowing copious amounts of interference from Ron Niemi without kicking him out or DQ'ing Chasyn or anything along those lines. Yet another infurating thing...
4. Leon Scott defeated Ray Beez. This is Ray's first match back in the ring since he had surgery on his knees, a surgery that was supposed to keep him out of the ring forever, but as Ray is such a tough bastard and obviously loves pro wrestling, here is his comeback match. This was a good affair. There was some out of the ring brawling near the end, and featured a farcical nature which was perfect for this event, just perfect. In replacement of a table spot, they had a spot involving… *a piece of plywood with "YAPRO" written on it with orange spray paint.* Plywood! What in the Christ kind of a joke was that? Soon after that Ray jumped off the stage of the building but Leon powerslammed him on the hard floor (see what I mean about Ray being tough?) and soon after that was suplexed on the stage. It wasn't too long before Leon applied a submission hold and Beez had to tap out.
Intermission time. It lasted around 20 minutes for no good reason when it could have gone 10 or 15 minutes instead. I'll take this time to note that never during the show did they ever announce what the brackets exactly were. Thus, I assumed from the order of the first four matches that the semifinals would be Erick Stevens vs. Jerrelle and Chasyn vs. Leon Scott (which would've been a rather, ahem, interesting match to see, but it would be a big mistake to have them go one on one). Nice job of announcing the brackets ahead of time, guys. Also, the show overall just came off as a cheap production, with not a lot of chairs set up in the building, a flimsy looking entrance way (which a guy literally knocked down before the show by accident) and that didn't make the show seem like a major event AT ALL like all the dorks on the boards were making it out to be.
5. Chasyn Rance (w/ Ron Niemi) defeated Jerrelle Clark. This was a good contest that Chasyn won with his Sensational Spike finisher. There was a homoerotic moment when Jerrelle delivered a move that required his "junk" be right in Chasyn's face! Hey, the wrestlers I sat by pointed it out, not me.
6. Erick Stevens defeated Leon Scott by DQ after Ray Beez interfered and attacked Leon. I'm not sure why the DQ finish happened exactly, or if we will have this feud continue on in the future at other AWF shows or not. It was a shame as this was a good match that lasted only a hair over 5 minutes long. I wanted to see them wrestle for a few minutes longer and possibly see another homoerotic moment, like what happened during the start of the match, when while both guys were grapping on the mat Leon did some sort of move where he ended up grabbing Erick's package! Really, that's what happened.
7. Chris Nelson-Rip Malibu defeated The Lifeguards (w/ Amy Vitale). It was oh so appropriate for The Lifeguards to face off against a surfer character like Malibu and Nelson, who… says he fishes often. This was pretty good and there was a lot of heat for it, as some people came out to see Rip's last match. Some of those Rip fans, though… I don't mean to bash the friends of someone on my MySpace friends list, but when you see a guy without his shirt have "Rip this" (or something to that effect) on his back AND YOU HAVE AN ARROW POINTING DOWN TO HIS ASSHOLE… what in the hell? I sincerely hope that guy didn't know what was put on his back and instead all his wiseacre friends said that something else was instead emblazoned on his back. Also, another guy had "Rip Van Winkle" written on this chest… um, what? Yikes. At least they made for great heat. Chris was beat upon for a few minutes then shortly thereafter Rip received the brunt of the punishment, but the ending came when Rip, possibly paying tribute to Nelson's angler ways, won with the Fisherman's Suplex, much to the crowd's delight.
8. Erick Stevens defeated Chasyn Rance to win the YAPRO Cup*, the first entry in this July's Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup, AND the AWF Florida Title, which was vacated by Kenny King soon after he won the AWF Universal Title from Kenny King. When I saw that Richard Merritt put the AWF Florida Title on the line, I got the feeling that his feud with MSL was just a waste of time work that should've tipped me off as to the bait and switch the crowd would receive tonight, but alas I did not have that foresight… maybe if I knew that was going to come, I wouldn't have been so enraged when it happened, but oh well… I'm sure the JPMC slot and the title was done to make the tournament look like it was actually worth a damn and had any sort of meaning in the wrestling world, but it mainly narrowed down the list of people who could've won the YAPRO Cup. I mean, Mister Saint Laurent in the Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup? I don't think so. As for this match… it was pretty good. You had several close near falls and also two refs knocked out and a schmozz (I wonder if Richard Trionfo, sitting at the timekeeper's table, thought he was at a TNA taping… which brings up the fact that besides the disorganization with no special seating for the drama queens… er, I mean the messageboarders, there was also no "press row" for people like Richard or me, even though that was promised beforehand; not that I expected to be allowed to sit in that press row after what I said previously about the event, but again it's bullshit that was said to happen that actually didn't happen) where Mister Saint Laurent came out (ok, waddled out) and interfered, but he ended up getting kicked in the face by accident and this allowed for Stevens to powerbomb Chasyn and out of nowhere came Devin Dalton in a ref's shirt to count the pin. After that, all the wrestlers on the show came out and entered the ring to give their thanks to Devin Dalton and to wish him luck in the Armed Forces. Erick handed over his trophy to Devin as he wanted him to have it.
*The trophy advertised appeared to be one that was a few feet tall, a la the Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup trophy or one you'd get from winning a sporting championship. The YAPRO Cup… it wasn't really a "cup", but a trophy, and a VERY tiny one. I mean, as Ron Niemi put it, it was a Monopoly piece! It would have been best used as a candy dish! You know, where you can place M&M's or jelly beans on your table and you can grab a few when you want a quick snack. The trophy looking like crap didn't exactly do anything to improve my feeling on the importance of the tournament.
Overall, I certainly did not want to tear apart and criticize a touching tribute show for a wrestler that is proudly serving his country in the military (where really, the "match quality" didn't mean anything in the big picture), but when you had all that happened that I mentioned already with things being promised to happen that of course did not happen at all but instead it turned out to be a ruse and you had a few people drinking their friend's semen and boasting about how great they were and by all impressions sought to make the show all about them RATHER THAN the event being all about Devin Dalton. You would assume that those people who claim to be his friend would put together and then properly advertise an event that would be more fitting for someone who will be gone for the next five years, but I guess not, as I never got that impression from those clowns. For all the bullshit that went down in the preceding week and then the bait and switch that took place at this event, *that* is the reason why I am in such a disgusted mood and feel embarrassed for being a Florida indy wrestling fan and someone who actually believed all the farcical hype and the slanderous remarks made towards a variety of people the past 7 days. I mean, you had that disgusting slob (and not just in appearance) Mister Saint Laurent threatening to call the FBI on someone! Unless it was the Full Blooded Italians and he was asking Tony Mamaluke or Tommy Rich to do something… I hope those people feel really proud for all the drama and nonsense they caused as of late, which I know had a *negative* effect on the attendance of the show. The ending of the show, where you had Devin count the pinfall and then everyone paid tribute to him was a great moment, but those touching moments were few and far between at this farce and disgrace (mostly) of a wrestling event.
If people get enraged by what I wrote here and say whatever about it (where you know people will think that I don't care about Devin myself, or something along those lines), that's too damned bad, and those that are my pals, I am sure you will ignore that baseless criticism and know that everything I said in this epic review was perfectly justifiable.
At least in the next week I should be able to wash this bitter taste out of my mouth.
The main thing I have to say is, tonight I am ashamed to be a Florida indy wrestling fan.
NOTE: Please read ALL of this extremely long review before you form any opinions about the sure to be controversial comments I had for the show and especially how it was FALSELY advertised.
Written Before The Show
I feel privileged that so much attention has been paid towards me for the past week. With all the mentions of my name I'm honored I'm the object of obsession by so many. Hell, when someone decides to spend their time and money and register an inflammatory website address that links to your Livejournal page (and just last night, it became a site where it's a copy and paste job of things I kept archived from when I blogged on an Angelfire page; a lot of those opinions I don't have anymore, especially the positive comments on Britney Spears! The POINT of doing that, though, hasn't been found by me yet), you should feel providential that an adult feels so strongly about you that they would pull something this immature in an attempt to make you look "bad."
Honestly, me giving some logical criticism (which I know at least several people agree with) as to why the show's totally nonsensical in terms of getting the average Joe and Jane to show up (I really hope they didn't put up flyers solely advertising the YAPRO Cup, as though they'd assume people know from the collective unconsciousness what that is; if Yapo assumed everyone would know him… even I don't have that big of an ego!) and having them enjoy or even understand the whole feud between something as mundane and juvenile as tiffs between pro wrestling messageboards; it's boggled my mind how they ostensibly can't handle ANY kind of criticism, or they're bullies who think it's ok and in fact perfectly logical to treat me like shit … yeah ok the draw of it being messageboard vs. messageboard actually got some people to attend their first indy in months after they used to attend shows often "back in the day" but that says more about their lameness in giving up on the scene for whatever reasons than the show being a "good draw". How people could get so excited about this or act like *everyone* should be as excited for their masturbatory fantasy coming to life as they are and then acting like 8 year olds when someone has the backbone to admit that they #aren't# excited about it… sad, just sad.
With that (and all I said in the past week) aside, I still came to the show hoping for the best, such as:
• Good matches
• A crowd that doesn't piss me off TOO much
• No one deciding to act like they're the cock of the walk and starting shit with me when I made it clear before that I wasn't looking to start anything (you know, "Don’t start no shit there will be no shit")
My anger will be the strongest, though, if AWF Richard Merritt decides to fold the promotion after their show this upcoming Thursday in Auburndale mainly because of the repugnant individual known as Mister Saint Laurent. Richard allows Devin Dalton to use the promotion's name for his last show before going off into the armed forces, and because he needs help he brings in some other people, including MSL. Now that's all well and good, but of course that joke of a human being known as MSL decides to bury the AWF name and says that "anyone working for them should be blackballed from pro wrestling" despite the fact that he himself is working this show, his buddy Chasyn Rance has wrestled for the AWF before and later on in the interview where he made that ridiculous comment, he praised many wrestlers who happen to wrestle for the AWF. What a great promoter HE is! C'mon now, his "anyone working for them should be blackballed from pro wrestling" line is just another case of his pathetic trolling done to puff up his extremely low self-esteem (hell, can't his trolling even make any LOGICAL SENSE anymore?) and a lame attempt to make himself look "cool" to a bunch of equally lame disciples. Of course, Richard happened to fall for it and if he decides he should pack up his fed and not have another show after the 15th… many people should never forgive the embarrassment and laughingstock of this state's indy scene known as Mister Saint Laurent for his ignorant and immature actions. I REALLY want the AWF to stay around if at all possible as it would be another crippling blow to this state's scene if an additional "big" fed would cease to exist. Don't listen to that troll, Richard Merritt.
What a ridiculous show this is on paper, with angles and matches being set up that only a few will even understand without a lot of explaining being done to the regular laypeople there (and even then they may crap on it). I mean, the storyline to Erick Stevens vs. MSL being that Stevens is going to "get revenge" and "defend my honor" (I'm paraphrasing here, but I got the gist of it) against the mean evil bully MSL… I'm flattered that a few people would want to include me and use my name in a pro wrestling angle (and even without my endorsement of them using my name at that!) but I don't see how a wrestler "defending my honor" would help draw people to this show or when it comes out on DVD give a bunch of random fans, smart mark or not, the desire to check out this event. So of course they decide to invoke my name in ANOTHER match (Chris Nelson vs. Rip Malibu, where if Rip wins, MSL won't make fun of me ever again and if Nelson wins, David Shirt and JP Gilbert get to post on WG's board once again… and I doubt I need to explain to everyone how ridiculous THIS stipulation is or how any random fan is supposed to give two shits about it or how it could possibly get them to cheer one person or boo another just so they can see two little shithead immature obnoxious pathetic embarrassments become cancers once again on a messageboard or MSL being forced to not talk about someone when you know he'll end up breaking it anyway somewhere along the line) and this becomes more and more of a farce of a wrestling show and a model of how you should NOT promote an event that would appeal to all or even the minority of people who attend indy shows. I mean, me and what I'm about being the story behind TWO matches? What a joke. This show does a lot to "expose the business" and make pro wrestling look like a complete circus. WG "breaking kayfabe" by acting like he wanted Rip Malibu's final match to be a "friendly affair" but instead since it will be against Chris Nelson so it will be a "bruising affair"… I tell you, if this is how pro wrestling is going to be in the future, then consider me not being a fan of pro wrestling anymore.
With that said, I'm going to remain unbiased and comment on all of the matches fairly, even the one involving Mister Saint Laurent himself.
Written After The Show
I didn't know what to expect when I attended this show. After all, a lot of people who would also be there happen to despise moi in various degrees and I know they would rather have me not be there. Of course, I know there are people who despise me that I don't know about or even some of those who act like they're my buddy when they really laugh at me behind my back but that's fine. That's real life.
I'll give this long spiel right away, as it has to be said. I apologize for the foul language I will be using the rest of the review, but in this case I feel it's an acceptable thing to do. The entire build of the show was messageboard vs. messageboard, right? Well, imagine my shock when it was obvious from watching this show that the messageboard feud was a bullshit bait and switch tactic. That's right, THE ENTIRE FEUD, WHICH WAS THE ONLY BUILD TO THE SHOW, WAS NOT MENTIONED AT ALL DURING THE SHOW. Let me say it again so that it registers… THE ENTIRE FEUD, WHICH WAS THE ONLY BUILD TO THE SHOW, WAS NOT MENTIONED AT ALL DURING THE SHOW. There were only a few MSL'ers in attendance and about two or three people solidly behind the Florida Indies guys. Otherwise it was a regular show with a tournament. There were no mention of Erick Stevens "getting revenge for Blair Russell", no mention of ANY of the FUCKING STORYLINES ADVERTISED FOR THE PAST WEEK on those two uber-niche wrestling boards. What was the Goddamn point then of all that bullshit about MikeWG paying Erick Stevens to be on his team, about Chris Nelson becoming "serious" and squashing the young upstart Rip Malibu in Rip's last match (and possibly Chris's last too), about the feud between competing game systems, and especially the burying of my name just because I rightly said that the messageboard feud as the storyline for the show was bullshit? If they were never going to go through with the idea at the show in the first place, then why in the motherfuck was it ever done? Oh that's right, because some people want to make themselves seem important and give off the impression that they actually mean jack shit in the wrestling world, when in actuality they don't. Instead of actually going out on the street and advertising by putting up posters in local businesses or doing other things to help draw the biggest possible crowd for their friend Devin Dalton, they spend the entire past week making themselves look awesome for, what, a few dozen people now (at best) and picking on poor innocent people who have nothing to do with the messageboard feud in the first place… and best of all the entire feud was done just to jack each other off and get pleasure from playing "important" wrestling characters, and you took all the attention away from Devin Dalton and thus you only drew 73 people (according to Ron Niemi's count; that sounds about accurate). What was the entire fucking point of that messageboard feud if it was never going to be an actual part of the show at all? I'd love to hear a good answer, but I doubt I will get one that will pass muster with me. Hell, even the feud MSL had going with Richard Merritt over only God knows what appears to be a huge fucking sham which accomplished NOTHING AT ALL, which is the exact phrase to use for this night. All the bullshit on those shitty messageboards accomplished absolutely NOTHING AT ALL for this tournament for a meaningless trophy. Why all this shit was done instead of having a normal wrestling show where Devin wrestled in the main event and got the win or whatever… again, I would just *love* to hear a logical explanation as to why people decided to put themselves over for the past week and take all the attention away from Devin Dalton. A few people REALLY should be ashamed of themselves for this entire fiasco, especially that sub-human Mister Saint Laurent, who you know had to be the brainchild behind all of this hollow crap. Look, I came *very* close to not attending this event due to all the crap and I know quite a few people at the show tonight weren't exactly looking forward to it too.
Once I realized that the past week was a complete sham and the biggest waste of time I've ever engaged myself in, I felt completely embarrassed to call myself a Florida indy wrestling fan and I was appalled at how most of the messageboarders spent the majority of the time with their thumbs up their asses, not seeming to care about the event at all… thus, I am going to be even less detailed with my match recaps than I usually am; my mood was pretty much ruined for this show as soon as I figured out the situation was a mind-boggingly bold bait and switch bullshit tactic. Thus, what I thought would be impossible was accomplished… I totally did not enjoy a show put together for a great cause such as this. Congratulations, assholes. Note that I am not blaming ANY of the wrestlers for what went down aside from that repugnant human being who was the main instigator and was more concerned with finding stuff I wrote a few years ago than doing his damnest to promote this event and get the highest possible attendance for this event… I especially will have no sympathy for Mister Saint Laurent in the future no matter what serious problems he may have to deal with.
But, I've said more than enough and I know everyone wants to hear my thoughts on the actual event, so here we go…
The event started around 8:10 instead of 7:30 as there was heavy traffic in the area (which was true). Thankfully, the members of the MSLU that actually bothered to come to the show did not pay any attention to me, which was exactly how I wanted it. Some people thought that I wasn't being too friendly with them… well, after I discovered the lack of messageboard feud going on, I realized that my earlier curtness was the right thing for me to do. Most interestingly, one person decided to come up to me and wanted to shake my hand. I said, "Why should I do that after how you've acted in the past week?", which was to insinuate that I hung out with sheepfuckers or WAS a sheepfucker, make other similar insulting comments about me, and worked with Photoshop to create several pictures of me which suggested, among other things, that I was glad Anna Nicole Smith died and believed her to be a "rich cunt" (I never thought that about Anna Nicole and I never said any disparaging remarks about her in the past, as one person would like to claim)… again, why should I shake his hand? I don't exactly see the "humor" in the situation that he must see.
I'll say that for the first part of the show there was hardly any heat for the matches, which I figured would happen, although the fact that the messageboard people didn't do a lot of cheering for the guys that they allegedly wanted to see win so badly just made me shake my head and made me glad most of them rarely go to shows anymore if they want to sit on their hands and do stupid shit like throw streamers in the ring.
I do have to say, though, that there was a rather interesting mix of songs played before the show. It was mainly 70's stuff I liked (such as the original version of "Smokin' In The Boys Room" by Brownsville Station) but also some 80's, such as the full almost 6 minute version of the Escape Club's "Wild Wild West" (hey, don't laugh).
We start off with The Lifeguards coming out (w/ Amy Vitale) and saying that the Heartbreak Express weren't there, so they were going to challenge anyone to a match. Out came Chris Nelson and then Rip Malibu, and that was the match for later in the show, although it was not for The Lifeguards's AWF Tag Team Titles. As always, Nelson was humorous on the mic. The funniest thing was when he made several insulting comments about a quartet of ladies who sat close to me and appeared to be rather young in age. I could nitpick those ladies but I won't, as they were obviously friends of one or two of the wrestlers, so I don't want to hate like that, and plus they actually did some cheering for the matches.
1. Erick Stevens defeated Mister Saint Laurent (w/ Ron Niemi). I'm sure everyone wants to know what I thought of this contest. Hell, I'm sure more than one of you scrolled down until you saw this heading as soon as you opened this page just so you could see first what I said about MSL or how I rated the match. Despite what has gone on in the past and what has happened recently, I still will rate this match fairly without any biases. I won't be like, "Oh, I wish Erick would've kicked MSL full force in the kidneys about 30 or 40 times in a row" or "Man, Stevens needed to drop him on his head a few times". I am not petty like that and I know Erick is professional beyond all reproach. Besides, I tried to give him 100 bucks to shoot on him but it didn't work…
Just kidding with the last sentence!
Thankfully MSL never acknowledged my presence or said anything about me, which was rather shocking. The only thing was that during this 3:30 match, they started to brawl by me, but that's no big deal. This ended up being a match that, to be kind, I'm glad only went 3 a half minutes. Erick won out of nowhere with the lariat.
2. Jerrelle Clark defeated Devin Dalton. The storyline behind this match that was set up for the entire week but of course was never followed through upon… Jerrelle Clark is a fan of the Playstation 3 and doesn't care for the Wii while Devin loves his Wii and hates the PS3. No, honestly, THAT is the honest to goodness storyline behind this match. Pardon me for acting like The Masked Maniac here (as I have been for most of the review), but JESUS SHITFUCKING CHRIST HAVING A GODDAMN STORYLINE ON A SHOW INVOLVING FUCKING VIDEOGAME SYSTEMS IS A TOTAL MOCKERY OF PRO WRESTLING AND ONLY SERVES TO MAKE THE SHOW MORE OF A TRAVESTY THAN IT ALREADY IS! I still can't believe that people are supposed to care that one person hates a videogame system. Talk about "nerd shit" that I could give two rat's tails about. My God I hope Mister Saint Laurent never promotes another wrestling show again in his entire life. As for the match itself… it was a fine affair where things went back and forth before Jerrelle won with a rollup finisher. Afterwards, as this was Devin's last match before he heads off to the Marines, he received a standing ovation.
3. Chasyn Rance (w/ Ron Niemi) defeated Nooie Lee. I am shocked that a storyline behind this match isn't, say, Nooie hating matzo ball soup or Chasyn detesting Hsinchu. That's about as "clever" as the other storylines you have set up (but never resolved) for this event. In another fine bout, Chasyn picked up the victory. The most memorable moment was early on when by accident the opening of Leon's entrance music played, distracting both guys in the ring. Oh Fan in the Corner! Also, note that for some reason you had the referees allowing copious amounts of interference from Ron Niemi without kicking him out or DQ'ing Chasyn or anything along those lines. Yet another infurating thing...
4. Leon Scott defeated Ray Beez. This is Ray's first match back in the ring since he had surgery on his knees, a surgery that was supposed to keep him out of the ring forever, but as Ray is such a tough bastard and obviously loves pro wrestling, here is his comeback match. This was a good affair. There was some out of the ring brawling near the end, and featured a farcical nature which was perfect for this event, just perfect. In replacement of a table spot, they had a spot involving… *a piece of plywood with "YAPRO" written on it with orange spray paint.* Plywood! What in the Christ kind of a joke was that? Soon after that Ray jumped off the stage of the building but Leon powerslammed him on the hard floor (see what I mean about Ray being tough?) and soon after that was suplexed on the stage. It wasn't too long before Leon applied a submission hold and Beez had to tap out.
Intermission time. It lasted around 20 minutes for no good reason when it could have gone 10 or 15 minutes instead. I'll take this time to note that never during the show did they ever announce what the brackets exactly were. Thus, I assumed from the order of the first four matches that the semifinals would be Erick Stevens vs. Jerrelle and Chasyn vs. Leon Scott (which would've been a rather, ahem, interesting match to see, but it would be a big mistake to have them go one on one). Nice job of announcing the brackets ahead of time, guys. Also, the show overall just came off as a cheap production, with not a lot of chairs set up in the building, a flimsy looking entrance way (which a guy literally knocked down before the show by accident) and that didn't make the show seem like a major event AT ALL like all the dorks on the boards were making it out to be.
5. Chasyn Rance (w/ Ron Niemi) defeated Jerrelle Clark. This was a good contest that Chasyn won with his Sensational Spike finisher. There was a homoerotic moment when Jerrelle delivered a move that required his "junk" be right in Chasyn's face! Hey, the wrestlers I sat by pointed it out, not me.
6. Erick Stevens defeated Leon Scott by DQ after Ray Beez interfered and attacked Leon. I'm not sure why the DQ finish happened exactly, or if we will have this feud continue on in the future at other AWF shows or not. It was a shame as this was a good match that lasted only a hair over 5 minutes long. I wanted to see them wrestle for a few minutes longer and possibly see another homoerotic moment, like what happened during the start of the match, when while both guys were grapping on the mat Leon did some sort of move where he ended up grabbing Erick's package! Really, that's what happened.
7. Chris Nelson-Rip Malibu defeated The Lifeguards (w/ Amy Vitale). It was oh so appropriate for The Lifeguards to face off against a surfer character like Malibu and Nelson, who… says he fishes often. This was pretty good and there was a lot of heat for it, as some people came out to see Rip's last match. Some of those Rip fans, though… I don't mean to bash the friends of someone on my MySpace friends list, but when you see a guy without his shirt have "Rip this" (or something to that effect) on his back AND YOU HAVE AN ARROW POINTING DOWN TO HIS ASSHOLE… what in the hell? I sincerely hope that guy didn't know what was put on his back and instead all his wiseacre friends said that something else was instead emblazoned on his back. Also, another guy had "Rip Van Winkle" written on this chest… um, what? Yikes. At least they made for great heat. Chris was beat upon for a few minutes then shortly thereafter Rip received the brunt of the punishment, but the ending came when Rip, possibly paying tribute to Nelson's angler ways, won with the Fisherman's Suplex, much to the crowd's delight.
8. Erick Stevens defeated Chasyn Rance to win the YAPRO Cup*, the first entry in this July's Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup, AND the AWF Florida Title, which was vacated by Kenny King soon after he won the AWF Universal Title from Kenny King. When I saw that Richard Merritt put the AWF Florida Title on the line, I got the feeling that his feud with MSL was just a waste of time work that should've tipped me off as to the bait and switch the crowd would receive tonight, but alas I did not have that foresight… maybe if I knew that was going to come, I wouldn't have been so enraged when it happened, but oh well… I'm sure the JPMC slot and the title was done to make the tournament look like it was actually worth a damn and had any sort of meaning in the wrestling world, but it mainly narrowed down the list of people who could've won the YAPRO Cup. I mean, Mister Saint Laurent in the Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup? I don't think so. As for this match… it was pretty good. You had several close near falls and also two refs knocked out and a schmozz (I wonder if Richard Trionfo, sitting at the timekeeper's table, thought he was at a TNA taping… which brings up the fact that besides the disorganization with no special seating for the drama queens… er, I mean the messageboarders, there was also no "press row" for people like Richard or me, even though that was promised beforehand; not that I expected to be allowed to sit in that press row after what I said previously about the event, but again it's bullshit that was said to happen that actually didn't happen) where Mister Saint Laurent came out (ok, waddled out) and interfered, but he ended up getting kicked in the face by accident and this allowed for Stevens to powerbomb Chasyn and out of nowhere came Devin Dalton in a ref's shirt to count the pin. After that, all the wrestlers on the show came out and entered the ring to give their thanks to Devin Dalton and to wish him luck in the Armed Forces. Erick handed over his trophy to Devin as he wanted him to have it.
*The trophy advertised appeared to be one that was a few feet tall, a la the Jeff Peterson Memorial Cup trophy or one you'd get from winning a sporting championship. The YAPRO Cup… it wasn't really a "cup", but a trophy, and a VERY tiny one. I mean, as Ron Niemi put it, it was a Monopoly piece! It would have been best used as a candy dish! You know, where you can place M&M's or jelly beans on your table and you can grab a few when you want a quick snack. The trophy looking like crap didn't exactly do anything to improve my feeling on the importance of the tournament.
Overall, I certainly did not want to tear apart and criticize a touching tribute show for a wrestler that is proudly serving his country in the military (where really, the "match quality" didn't mean anything in the big picture), but when you had all that happened that I mentioned already with things being promised to happen that of course did not happen at all but instead it turned out to be a ruse and you had a few people drinking their friend's semen and boasting about how great they were and by all impressions sought to make the show all about them RATHER THAN the event being all about Devin Dalton. You would assume that those people who claim to be his friend would put together and then properly advertise an event that would be more fitting for someone who will be gone for the next five years, but I guess not, as I never got that impression from those clowns. For all the bullshit that went down in the preceding week and then the bait and switch that took place at this event, *that* is the reason why I am in such a disgusted mood and feel embarrassed for being a Florida indy wrestling fan and someone who actually believed all the farcical hype and the slanderous remarks made towards a variety of people the past 7 days. I mean, you had that disgusting slob (and not just in appearance) Mister Saint Laurent threatening to call the FBI on someone! Unless it was the Full Blooded Italians and he was asking Tony Mamaluke or Tommy Rich to do something… I hope those people feel really proud for all the drama and nonsense they caused as of late, which I know had a *negative* effect on the attendance of the show. The ending of the show, where you had Devin count the pinfall and then everyone paid tribute to him was a great moment, but those touching moments were few and far between at this farce and disgrace (mostly) of a wrestling event.
If people get enraged by what I wrote here and say whatever about it (where you know people will think that I don't care about Devin myself, or something along those lines), that's too damned bad, and those that are my pals, I am sure you will ignore that baseless criticism and know that everything I said in this epic review was perfectly justifiable.
At least in the next week I should be able to wash this bitter taste out of my mouth.