Finally...
Finally have net again. Its nice, but I wish my computer chair was more comfortable, so I could sit back and read at the computer while still talking with some people. Oh well. hah. Had to disable the security on the router for now, Ill set that back up later when I have more patience.
Been getting into reading more, which has been nice, as I want to start rping more. Though I normally have a channel to release these urges, the group isnt getting together for a few weeks... so I might go digging up aol again. Or just keep burying my nose in books... Either sounds equally inviting really.
It's gorgeous up here this time of year. I've been in Seattle for a full year now. The cold months seem to have stretched on fairly long, but this is reminiscent of my upbringing in Michigan anyways. Beautiful, colorful springs and falls. Warm summers, cool winters. By comparison its more mild than Michigan or Oklahoma as far as the hot/cold differences, but its all relative. 20 feels just as cold as -2 when you are standing outside for any length of time. One upgrade I hope to get for the house is a heater with a thermostat, so Im not constantly adjusting the tempurature.
Ah, yes. My move went very well, all considering. I found the perfect place, this small house only about 4 1/2 miles from work. The bike to work is a little more challenging since there are very steep hills, but I've found that Ive been slimming down a little more too from it. It's still to cold to really bike more than once or twice a week just yet, and I do not like biking to work when its raining. The showers at work are just... ick. But in any case, the house has everything I wanted. Washer dryer, all bills paid... even internet and cable. Even though I don't have the cable box set up yet. I've never been one to watch alot of tv though.
It has been odd, since I have moved up here. It's as if I am walking through veil after veil that has been shrouding my thoughts or conciousness. It has been told to me that it seems as if I have grown in personality and wisdom. Some of these changes are good, very good. I feel like such a more fulfilled person. In some ways, I have noticed I've lost bits of myself along the way. Twice now, I have killed in my dreams. The first, I rationalized that I was only lowering them to 0 hitpoints. But truely, I knew what was going on. And tonight, well there is no roundabout way of explaining it. I was the pointman of my legion as we fought people from our fort, and I parried, countered, thrust and cut them down with ease. But, I am no longer as perplexed by this as I used to be. I feel a litle remorse for what I have lost... I was proud, before... of my inability to kill. It turns out that I am not able to stay as passive and innocent, forever.
On the other hand though, there is still one of these veils that I still hold to. Maybe it is not even a veil though, just a viewpoint. I refuse to become jaded, skeptical or to settle into a relationship. With some reading I've done, I feel a little less guilty about being 'picky' with finding someone, as it does seem to be typical of Virgos... But I am more of a dreamer and romanticist than most Virgos. I still fancy the ideas of a man to sweep me off my feet. My hero, knight in shining armor and all that jargon. Someone with as vivid as an imagination as I, similar interests, at least in the nerdy aspects. A similar style too. Someone that will offer backrubs occasionally without having to ask... open doors. Yanno, cheesy stuff. Who knows, maybe down the years, this too will eventually fade.
However, at the moment, I am not willing to wait years. Maybe its just spring, or a fire under my seat, so to say... but I am not ... content... with being single anymore. I have overcome obstacles now that have plagued me for years. Self doubt and bad self esteem. I have proven time and again that I have what it takes to survive, regaurdless of the conditions. I know can truely see how beautiful I am, even in body. Perfect... no. Far from. But something does not need to be perfect to be beautiful.
I am no longer content with just surviving, or being single really. I do, however. Understand that this will be a long road to travel. And not without some inevitable effort. But after all, it is all about the journey, isn't it?
Alright, enough of the rambly Rhea.
Been getting into reading more, which has been nice, as I want to start rping more. Though I normally have a channel to release these urges, the group isnt getting together for a few weeks... so I might go digging up aol again. Or just keep burying my nose in books... Either sounds equally inviting really.
It's gorgeous up here this time of year. I've been in Seattle for a full year now. The cold months seem to have stretched on fairly long, but this is reminiscent of my upbringing in Michigan anyways. Beautiful, colorful springs and falls. Warm summers, cool winters. By comparison its more mild than Michigan or Oklahoma as far as the hot/cold differences, but its all relative. 20 feels just as cold as -2 when you are standing outside for any length of time. One upgrade I hope to get for the house is a heater with a thermostat, so Im not constantly adjusting the tempurature.
Ah, yes. My move went very well, all considering. I found the perfect place, this small house only about 4 1/2 miles from work. The bike to work is a little more challenging since there are very steep hills, but I've found that Ive been slimming down a little more too from it. It's still to cold to really bike more than once or twice a week just yet, and I do not like biking to work when its raining. The showers at work are just... ick. But in any case, the house has everything I wanted. Washer dryer, all bills paid... even internet and cable. Even though I don't have the cable box set up yet. I've never been one to watch alot of tv though.
It has been odd, since I have moved up here. It's as if I am walking through veil after veil that has been shrouding my thoughts or conciousness. It has been told to me that it seems as if I have grown in personality and wisdom. Some of these changes are good, very good. I feel like such a more fulfilled person. In some ways, I have noticed I've lost bits of myself along the way. Twice now, I have killed in my dreams. The first, I rationalized that I was only lowering them to 0 hitpoints. But truely, I knew what was going on. And tonight, well there is no roundabout way of explaining it. I was the pointman of my legion as we fought people from our fort, and I parried, countered, thrust and cut them down with ease. But, I am no longer as perplexed by this as I used to be. I feel a litle remorse for what I have lost... I was proud, before... of my inability to kill. It turns out that I am not able to stay as passive and innocent, forever.
On the other hand though, there is still one of these veils that I still hold to. Maybe it is not even a veil though, just a viewpoint. I refuse to become jaded, skeptical or to settle into a relationship. With some reading I've done, I feel a little less guilty about being 'picky' with finding someone, as it does seem to be typical of Virgos... But I am more of a dreamer and romanticist than most Virgos. I still fancy the ideas of a man to sweep me off my feet. My hero, knight in shining armor and all that jargon. Someone with as vivid as an imagination as I, similar interests, at least in the nerdy aspects. A similar style too. Someone that will offer backrubs occasionally without having to ask... open doors. Yanno, cheesy stuff. Who knows, maybe down the years, this too will eventually fade.
However, at the moment, I am not willing to wait years. Maybe its just spring, or a fire under my seat, so to say... but I am not ... content... with being single anymore. I have overcome obstacles now that have plagued me for years. Self doubt and bad self esteem. I have proven time and again that I have what it takes to survive, regaurdless of the conditions. I know can truely see how beautiful I am, even in body. Perfect... no. Far from. But something does not need to be perfect to be beautiful.
I am no longer content with just surviving, or being single really. I do, however. Understand that this will be a long road to travel. And not without some inevitable effort. But after all, it is all about the journey, isn't it?
Alright, enough of the rambly Rhea.