It's safe to say no one reads this thing
No one probably remembers I even have one of these thing. lol Maybe here I can write freely without problems. My thoughts cause trouble. I don't understand, you don't care for me then who gives a shit. Right? Right. I bought One-x and Switched I got today from Best Bizzle lmao. Which was pretty funny I was looking at big screen tvs ( a birthday gift to myself kinda thing). And over the loud speaker come " will the owner of the white corvette come to the front please" I looked outside and it was completely down pouring. I mean like someone just emptied a full bucket over brick lol. Later I found out she left all her windows opened with leather interear lmao. I laughed my ass off. I hate vettes lol there ugly. I went to pay for my cd and just my luck it's Andrea lol. She cool and everything. I knew I'd get questions about Kelly, so yea it kinda sucked. O'well no big deal. Its just gonna take a while before everyone forgets and me and her together. Hopefully by then I'll have forgotten everything, so I can move forward. Even thought its been almost two months now and shes already with someone, I still kinda feel like it was just yesterday. Everyone says it just takes time Ron, you'll be ok and you'll be the better one in the end. So I'm taking the advice let time pass. Theres something I feel like I'm leaving behind. Part of me really wants to hate her for what she's done to me. I think to myself just gett her out of your life and forgot about the last three years. If you block it out long enough I'll forget. But I don't want to hate her or be pissed off. I wanna be able to look her in the eyes once again and smile, and get that overwhelming feeling of happiness again. To hold her again and not be able to think of anything thats not her. To know what love feels like. But I can't. It a bullshit hopeless dream, thats lost for all enturnity. I put to much faith into people, you'd think I've learned my lesson by now. Trust no one. To quote a song " Don't put your life in someones hands. There bound to steal it away." I'll prove I don't need someone to be happy. I can just be as happy being all alone. Nothing last forever anyway. It all eventaully ends. Why put all of what you are into someone? They'll just end up destroying it and not even give a shit. And then your left with nothing but the lies that emerge because there not there to keep them covered any longer. Fuck! back to my meanless job, that slowly kills my sanity.