(no subject)
My mom and I got into another discussion today about me and Bill moving in together. No, as of right now, we're not moving in together, but its been brought up. Yet, so many other things have been brought up as well. I wanna get married, I wanna have a family. he'll tell me he wants to live with me, but if anything else gets brought up...its time to change the subject. I just dont know how to feel, really. I mean, I love Bill. I know that. I love him so much. And I know I'm 19 and he's 24 and we're young...but I know my heart. I'm just afraid that...what if he wants to live with me....but he's content with living...what if he doesn't want to marry me? What if he never wants to marry me? He says he wants to wait...but he's not getting any younger and he's already 4 years older than I am. what if waiting turns into nothing? I know he's different from other guys...but he's never actually given me an opinion on marraige, like how he feels about it. He just says he's never really thought about it. Last night, he asked me what 5 things my day wasnt complete without. My first thing was talking to him. Him talking to me on the other hand, was his fourth thing...and last cuz he never said anything after that. When he asked me what I saw two years down the road, I told him working, in school and hopefully him still in my life. All he said was a stable job. I know he loves me, I have no doubts about that. I just want what most girls want...I want the fairy tale ending. I wanna be married, I want a family, I want to be in love with one person for the rest of my life. And I really want and think that person is Bill. But...I guess something will come about and look up.