(no subject)

[blackrosesrdead]

this day has been bullshit. First, I get broken up with...then 30 minutes later he freaking asks me back out. Now...he wants to take it slow. He said he "cant" make out with me. what the fuck. oh my god. No, and he wont even say he loves me, oh my god. He told me he loved me before we even fucking started dating and he's sittin here saying we're moving too fast and talking about the future and shit. Well, who fucking started it..yeah, your right, HE DID! so, why is all this shit coming out now? hmm? I swear to god this is bull. Man, ya know if he had just fucking thought before he acted...we wouldn't be in this damn mess now would we? goddamnit! Is the masculine race just completely stupid or something!? (no offense....but ya'll gotta admit some guys are just dumb as trees). I mean, when did people completely stop thinking. And I swear, I am telling the truth here....this is the only thing I can take fault for, I probably should have stopped him but I got caught up in someone who wanted to spend his life with me and wasn't gonna leave me for another girl or the damn army. I mean, do you guys know how that feels? I did and now I dont know what the fuck I feel. And ya know what makes it worse? I slept with him. Yeah...for all you who didn't know, now you do. And this is actually a big deal. Because after that one night I freaked out, I kept thinking of all the bad stuff that had happened, about Kyle and Thomas and Brian and how they broke my hearts. And I really didn't want that to happen again, not with him. SO we cooled it for a while. And I had actually just gotten up my courage to give myself to him because, I thought he wouldn't do anything like those other guys, he's not like them. He wouldn't do anything stupid. Boy was I wrong! He goes and pulls this dumbass stunt. This is gonna take a while to get over. See if he gets any sex for a looooooong time. GOD! I can't fucking believe this. I swear....man everytime he needed me, I was there for him. Talking to him, making him feel better, hugging him. JESUS! I was fucking there whenever the hell he needed me and this is how I fucking get repaid. I mean, yeah, I do still love him. Its not like he cheated on me or anything. He wouldnt be alive if he cheated on me. and he didn't do anything overly stupid, it just seems like he protecting his nuts...which he should. Cuz honestly...I didnt even see this coming. I can honestly say this breakup is not my fault. None of it. I didnt do a damn thing to influence this. Just cuz he didnt see me for 5 days, he starts thinking and shit. SEE! this is why men shouldnt be allowed to think. Distance is supposed to make the heart grow fonder right? RIGHT!? GOOD GOD! This is bullshit. Honestly, i dont where the hell this came from. But its fucking pissing me off. And killing me. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *screams*. good fucking god. I wanna kill someone. or throw something, or punch my wall. But then my parents would get worried/pissed. *sighs* whatever

I need a fucking cigarette.
andyone got some Marlboro Red's they wanna share?