DEAR LORD
i got a FIVE
A FIVE A FIVE A FIVE
on my AP test.
most people did. i just really REALLY REALLY didn't think i was going to; i felt more unsure during that entire test during any big test really in my life, just throwing answers down in a manner that i thought was the most intelligent but i really didn't have any basis at all.
i'm also thinking that maybe they knew how hard the essay questions were. i thought they were pretty obscure, at least. maybe some leeway [i always thought it was this, not "lead way"; i don't care what you say] was given. HA. for me, at least.
also, i am really taken with "how to save a life" by the fray, mainly, but also "over my head (cable car)". they are both [but mainly how to save a life] songs that i feel i have a past emotional connection to. sort of like "i miss you" by blink 182, which always makes me cry because of the way it dredges up the past and makes me think of sadness and the passage of time. it feels like the fray have this connection with me and that i would cry and think of past times but these songs are quite new. they are not the type of music that i would even really love, normally, but they must have some sort of immense, perhaps unknown and unintentional power that comes through in their songs.
funny thing is that i had "how to save a life" running through my head for the entire night and when i got home a little while ago i put my itunes on shuffle and GUESS, just guess what came up.
okay, actually "over my head (cable car)" came up, but i only own two songs by them, so i thought it was kind of odd.
i have a mosquito bite on the left side of my left foot, and so it's pretty hard to access and itch. if it was on the inside of a foot it would be quite simple to lift up to my hand, but, well, yes, you can just imagine it yourself.
maybe my self-esteem is fading. i no longer have a drive to meet new people because i feel like they will not know me and the relationship will be superficial and never go anywhere and i will disappoint them. it's not a strong feeling but it's strong enough to make me a bit aloof at parties.
again, maybe it is that i'm growing and changing and recognizing when it it smart to "mingle" and when it will just be unfulfilling.
i guess i don't really majorly connect with many people and this is why it's hard for me to seek out relationships because i don't know if i'm right for them.
one major issue all through today, however, has been that i am on 6 hours of sleep and i am not built in a way that allows me to function when that happens. this could be a contributor.
excusesexcusesexcuses.
i think it'd be interesting to be someone who does not think anything through the way that i and many of my closest friends do.
i worry about so many things.
A FIVE A FIVE A FIVE
on my AP test.
most people did. i just really REALLY REALLY didn't think i was going to; i felt more unsure during that entire test during any big test really in my life, just throwing answers down in a manner that i thought was the most intelligent but i really didn't have any basis at all.
i'm also thinking that maybe they knew how hard the essay questions were. i thought they were pretty obscure, at least. maybe some leeway [i always thought it was this, not "lead way"; i don't care what you say] was given. HA. for me, at least.
also, i am really taken with "how to save a life" by the fray, mainly, but also "over my head (cable car)". they are both [but mainly how to save a life] songs that i feel i have a past emotional connection to. sort of like "i miss you" by blink 182, which always makes me cry because of the way it dredges up the past and makes me think of sadness and the passage of time. it feels like the fray have this connection with me and that i would cry and think of past times but these songs are quite new. they are not the type of music that i would even really love, normally, but they must have some sort of immense, perhaps unknown and unintentional power that comes through in their songs.
funny thing is that i had "how to save a life" running through my head for the entire night and when i got home a little while ago i put my itunes on shuffle and GUESS, just guess what came up.
okay, actually "over my head (cable car)" came up, but i only own two songs by them, so i thought it was kind of odd.
i have a mosquito bite on the left side of my left foot, and so it's pretty hard to access and itch. if it was on the inside of a foot it would be quite simple to lift up to my hand, but, well, yes, you can just imagine it yourself.
maybe my self-esteem is fading. i no longer have a drive to meet new people because i feel like they will not know me and the relationship will be superficial and never go anywhere and i will disappoint them. it's not a strong feeling but it's strong enough to make me a bit aloof at parties.
again, maybe it is that i'm growing and changing and recognizing when it it smart to "mingle" and when it will just be unfulfilling.
i guess i don't really majorly connect with many people and this is why it's hard for me to seek out relationships because i don't know if i'm right for them.
one major issue all through today, however, has been that i am on 6 hours of sleep and i am not built in a way that allows me to function when that happens. this could be a contributor.
excusesexcusesexcuses.
i think it'd be interesting to be someone who does not think anything through the way that i and many of my closest friends do.
i worry about so many things.